The Promise of a Lifetime
by objection234
Summary: The war is over. The Allied Shinobi are victorious and Obito is presumed dead. But when Kirabi seemingly vanishes, leaving behind only a strange message, Tsunade deems it best to send Naruto out of the country, as bodyguard detail for one 'Chitoge Kirisaki'...
1. Prologue

**Why must I keep coming up with ideas? Seriously…**

**Yeah, since it's summer, and I have all the time in The World on my hands, I figured, "What the Hell?" and decided to go all in.**

**So, do you see that "Future Works" list on my profile? The Naruto/Bleach, Naruto/Kokoro Connect, Naruto/Sakurasou, Naruto/SAO, Naruto/Ace Attorney, and Ouran/Haruhi Suzumiya crossovers? **

**Yeah, before this summer's out I'll try to post something for all of them. That's a promise.**

**...Or should I say, "The Promise of a Lifetime?"**

**Yes, this fic in particular is a Naruto/Nisekoi crossover. I watched the show from its release all the way to the end, and I absolutely loved it. It's my favorite Anime/Manga of all time!**

**There are the OVAs coming in Autumn, I believe, so I recommend you watch out for that.**

**And let me mention that, for those familiar with my Naruto/KamiNomi fic, you will see a large amount of similarities between these prologues (I had actually intended to use **_**Secrets of the Goddesses**_**' prologue for THIS one, but I felt like it worked better there).**

**Also, it was based off of Storm 3's ending, because I haven't been keeping track of the manga lately, so there may be some canonical contradictions.**

**Ah well, I think I've wasted enough of your time rambling. It's time to make history with my first ever Nisekoi Crossover!**

* * *

Bermuda Triangle

June 17, 2012

2:29 P.M.

* * *

'I-I'm almost out of chakra...'

It was an interesting sight indeed. Within the mile-wide crater-like indentation created by the collision of Bijuudama moments ago, the looming statue of the Gedo Mazo behind them, was the perfect backdrop for the final battle of the two-day long Fourth Grand Shinobi World War.

On one side of the now massive wasteland was the recently unmasked Uchiha Obito, Sharingan still spinning defiantly in one eye, implanted Rinnegan in the other.

...So it's like the "ShaRinnegan?"

Bee had chuckled at that, Kakashi rolling his eyes.

Well, in any case, Kirabi, who'd been too exhausted by the titanic battle with the other 5 Bijuu, had dropped his enormous transformation, and was being guarded by an injured Gai and Kakashi.

And a few hundred yards away in front of them was the #1 Hyperactive Knuckle-Headed Loud-Mouthed Ninja himself, Uzumaki Naruto.

The exhausted nin formed the single hand seal that started it all.

'But still…'

A massive cloud of smoke erupted from his body, cloaking his side of the battlefield in a chakra-laced vapor. Without warning, three identical copies rushed out, intent on ending the traitorous Uchiha.

Meanwhile, within the cloud, the original was focused on creating a swirling ball of chakra in his hand.

As one, the three clones leapt at the man, kunai in their grasp.

But it was for naught, as the cloaked man merely swept his enormous war fan in a circle, dispelling the clones with ease.

He didn't even look up at the familiar sound and sensation of swirling chakra.

Instead, he only lifted the fan to its original position on his back, blocking the technique with a "thump."

'Wait….*thump*?'

He looked up in shock to see the blond shinobi had cancelled the attack, allowing it to dissipate. The nin instead had landed with both feet planted on the fan upon his back.

And his hands had flown to the Kage Bunshin seal once more.

Thousands of copies littered the skies, each with a massive ball of spiraling, cerulean chakra in each hand. It was as if the sky itself were painted blue.

And orange, for that matter.

The name of the attack came in unison from each clone's mouth.

"**Chou Oodama Rasen Tarengan**"!

The brilliant explosion of cyan lit up the sky, shooting upward like a flare.

Meanwhile, the original, who'd leapt out of harm's way at the last possible second, was hunched over and panting, with his dirt-ridden, torn jumpsuit flapping in the wind. The attack had taken almost everything out of him; he could barely feel his legs.

But it was all for nothing, as the Uchiha appeared behind him in a distortion of space.

"It would seem that you're out of chakra."

"Gk!"

The man grabbed him by the throat, lifting his body until his feet no longer touched the ground. His crimson Sharingan was spinning rapidly, preparing to send him God knows where.

But Naruto Uzumaki doesn't go down without a fight.

The blond shinobi grit his teeth and whipped out a kunai, which was promptly blocked. The knife fell from his hand…

Exposing the exploding tag wrapped around the hilt.

The knife exploded, sending shrapnel into both of their bodies.

Blinded by the blast, Obito shielded his eyes, before they widened in shock for the third time in mere seconds.

Naruto had leapt forward, fist cocked at the ready, intent on ending things once and for all.

"There are people out there fighting! People I've never even met…"

"And they're fighting for me!"

"They're laying down their lives for this. They're out there fighting for me. Believing in me!"

"And I am not about to give up!"

"This is for everyone in the Elemental Countries! Not just me...But for my Kaa-san and Tou-san! Kakashi and Jiraiya-Sensei! And everybody else's lives you've fucked over!"

"THIS IS FOR THE PEOPLE OF THE HIDDEN LEAF!"

And the genin-turned-sage punched with all his might, nailing him right in the face.

He pushed as hard as he could, pooling together what little chakra he had left, and putting everything he had in his punch!

His fist began to glow, before the earth itself seemed to light up, painting the world a blinding white.

The Uchiha looked beyond the airborne shinobi to see thousands chanting his name.

"NA-RU-TO! NA-RU-TO! NA-RU-TO!"

Soon they began to disappear one by one. Tsunade, Kakashi, Jiraiya, Hiruzen, Zabuza and Haku, Gaara, Iruka, Sasuke, Hinata, the rest of the Konoha 11, and the other Jinchuuriki, all cheering as they went.

And the last to vanish were a familiar red-haired woman and blond man.

"Go get him…"

"Naruto!"

And for the first time in over a decade, Obito Uchiha had true fear in his eyes.

"GRAAAAAAAAAAH!"

And all he felt was pain as his head collided with the earth.

The ground beneath him exploded, tearing up the landscape, and sending bits of terrain into the sky.

Deprived of his strength, Naruto was blown away, before rolling to halt onto his back, Iruka's battered Konoha Hitai-ate falling from his forehead.

(*PHOOM PHOOM PHOOM*)

Those bits of terrain became reacquainted with their birthplace. Hard. The tremors could be felt throughout the area, as they cracked into smaller and smaller pieces after each impact.

The last Uzumaki managed to look over at where Obito lay. His body was buried under a mountain of rubble and debris, completely sealed off. And if the punch didn't kill him, he'd definitely have been crushed under those rocks.

"Oh, the irony."

The blond glanced up at his Jonin Sensei, whom had limped over to his side next to the Uchiha's makeshift grave. The silver-haired man offered him an eye-smile.

"Good work."

The former ANBU captain glanced up at the previously cloudy sky, which had been cleared by the Rasengan Barrage and the massive explosion of chakra moments before. Now the sun shone a brilliant gold across the clear, blue sky.

"Your parents would be proud."

His blue eyes widened in surprise, before they curved into an eye-smile of their own. He gave a wide grin, gold hair waving freely in the slight breeze.

"Thanks, Sensei."

* * *

America

October 25, 2012

11:39 P.M.

* * *

"Come on...where on Earth are they?"

Standing outside the movie theater, all alone, was a special blonde girl, checking her (rather extravagant) watch all the while. And, exactly how was she special, you might ask?

Well, if you questioned random passerby, they'd all give similar answers; the girl was gorgeous! Her strawberry-blonde hair was held in place by a single, scarlet ribbon, and cascaded down her lithe figure. Her eyes sparkled celeste like a clear sky in winter, her naturally-pink lips giving off a small shine in the light of the hanging streetlamps. Her lashes were long, hands dainty, and those legs seemed to go on forev-

While those answers would be rather accurate, that wasn't the reason she was special.

"But other than that, there's not much to be said about her!" you might plead, "Just what about her makes her so 'special' as you claim?"

Well…

"Hey there babe."

The girl's expression brightened before she turned to a group of unfamiliar faces.

It was a band of 7 or so men, the majority of whom didn't seem to know what soap was. They were scruffy and unshaven, giving them an unsophisticated aura.

The exception to this was their apparent leader, the one who'd spoken. His hair was dark violet and laced with product, while his eyes were blue, with specks of black adorning the iris, the tell-tale signs of contacts. Unlike his entourage, he was rather clean-shaven, and wore a blazer with padded shoulders so ridiculously broad that they looked as if they'd fit on the form of a football player, equipment and all.

In short, he looked so fake, she may as well have been addressed by a manikin.

"If ya' got nothin' else ta' do," he continued, drawing closer, "Why don'tcha' hang with us for a while?"

"Ha, nice pick boss!"

"Yeah, way to go!"

The man glanced back at his cheering "buddies", before looking back to her.

She unconsciously took a step back under his gaze, before regarding him with a smile as fake as he.

"N-no thank you...I'm waiting for some friends; they'll be here soon…"

At that, his expression darkened ever-so-slightly at being turned down. It was clear he was not used to it.

"Are ya' sure? It's a bit chilly out for such a fragile little thing to be waiting around all by herself…"

She shook her head again, "It's alright, they won't be long," she repeated.

"C'mon babe, it's past midnight already! Your buddies must've blown you off. Here, I'll give you my jacket and we can go someplace warm," he said, taking off said jacket. He walked over and just as he was about to wrap it around her-

(*BLAM*)

A bullet whizzed past faster than the eye could see, tearing through the cheap fabric of the blazer and striking the leader in the palm, emerging out the other side.

"AGH!" he cried, falling back and clutching his hand in pain. Blood began to flow from the wound, staining the fallen snow a dark crimson.

A blur of navy and ultramarine at the blonde's side marked the appearance of another. The small group of men stared blankly at the shadowed face of their leader's assailant as the figure stood silently.

"Wh-What the hell was that for!? I was jus' tryna' help her!"

Slowly, the face of the newcomer was revealed, red eyes overflowing with unbridled fury. The hair was cut short with small locks of midnight blue framing a round face, and a small beauty mark just a little past the right eye. With a small movement, a blade emerged from the cuffed sleeve of the form-fitting blazer, falling into the wearer's open palm as they spoke 9 simple words.

"You have 10 seconds to get away from Ojou."

...This is what I was talking about.

Yes, the young lady in question was a gorgeous, blonde girl. It's just that she happened to be a gorgeous, blonde _heiress_ to one of the most vicious gangs in the **country**. The BeeHive.

The figure standing before her was one Seishirou Tsugumi, an orphan raised and trained by the BeeHive executive Claude, and now, one of the deadliest assassins the world over. Blade in hand, Seishirou began to count.

"One…"

The other men were still in a daze from seeing their leader in such a state. Said leader managed to stand (though his knees were shaking), and he pulled out a knife of his own.

The men all gave their 'boss' a look that practically screamed "This is a terrible idea!", but he failed to respond.

"...Two…"

It was then that one of them decided to voice their collective thoughts.

"B-boss, this guy...he's bad news! Just let it go, sir!"

He smirked.

"Come on! It's only one guy! We can take him!"

At that, Seishirou twitched.

"...Ten."

With a swipe of the hand, the blade streaked through the air faster than a bullet, lodging itself in the windpipe of one of the men.

Those behind him had their eyes glued to his falling body, unable to comprehend what had just happened.

'...One down.'

A gun was soon drawn and shots were fired, as Chitoge ran for cover, their boss ducking behind a nearby trash can. A flurry of metal came upon them with the ferocity of a hurricane, leaving no time to react.

(*PING*)

"GAGH!"

A stray bullet had ricocheted off a nearby building, striking the leader in the leg. He grit his teeth in pain, but looked over the scene with fear in his eyes.

In a matter of _seconds_, it had ended, Seishirou standing over the deceased forms of men almost twice her size.

Yes, _**her**_ size.

It just so happened that the world's most deadly assassin was female, and that her feminine attributes (or lack thereof) happened to be a rather touchy subject for her.

The hit_woman_ kicked over the trash can, the bin flying across the street. She glared down at the man with a scowl.

The leader, clutching his bleeding leg with his bleeding hand, stared up in terror at the face of a demon.

"I'll ask only once…" she growled.

"**Who are you?**"

* * *

Bermuda Triangle

Outskirts of Hi no Kuni

November 23, 2013

12:27 P.M.

* * *

"Alright men, move it! Those things aren't gonna' move themselves, dammit!"

"Hai!"

Near the border of Fire Country, and just a small ways off from Kusagakure, a Kitsune-masked ANBU crouched in the bushes, careful to mask his chakra signature. On the opposite side of the clearing, hiding in the trees, were another squad of ANBU, ready to move at a moment's notice. They were monitoring the movements of a group of bandits, who just so happened to worship a rather familiar 'God'.

Jashin.

Yes, Jashinism. Remember? The same religious cult that nut Hidan happened to pray to? The one that granted near immortality and infallibility in battle?

That's the one.

And those 'things' they were referring to? You know, the ones they were moving around?

Yep, those 'just so happened to be' human sacrifices.

Kitsune trembled in anger as men, women, and children were strung up and crucified, his shaky hand reaching for his tanto.

"**Kitsune**!" barked a voice over the comm, "**The hell do you think you're doing**!?"

"The fuck does it look like, Boar?" he muttered back, "I've gotta' save them!"

"**Stick to the plan, dammit**," came the sharp whisper, "**It's the safest course of action we can take**."

The 'plan' was simple. Wait until those screwed-up fucks started _**killing**_ those innocents, and attack in the chaos.

"Safest for us, maybe!" he hissed, watching as one of the psychopaths approached the appointed sacrifices with a tri-bladed scythe in his hand, "But in the meanwhile, **civilians** will be compromised!"

"**Fuckin' Hell Uzumaki**, **you think I don't know that**?!" cried Boar, "**But if we miss our chance and fuck this up, ****thousands**** of others are going to share the same fate**!"

Nothing but static followed.

"**You hear that Kitsune**? **Are you with us or no-**"

"HUAAAAGH!"

Boar and his team looked up to see Kitsune standing in the middle of the camp, bloodied tanto drawn, and held above the bisected remains of the scythe-bearer.

An audible (*SMACK*) rang through the clearing, as Boar facepalmed his mask.

"God dammit…" he muttered.

All at once, the Jashinists turned to their leader's assailant...

...And almost simultaneously activated their cursed armor.

"God…..fucking…...dammit…"

The ANBU leapt into battle to assist their comrade.

* * *

Bermuda Triangle

Konohagakure no Sato

November 23, 2013

4:32 P.M.

* * *

"ANBU Squad 17, Captain Boar," he stated to the two Chuunin on Gate Duty, "returning to Konoha from a...successful S-Rank."

Izumo skimmed the file, before handing it back to the man.

"You're all set."

The ANBU nodded, and headed to the Hokage Tower to report, the other members of his squad following.

"Oi! Naru-" he stopped himself, "Erm, Kitsune!"

The masked nin turned to them, brilliant blue eyes staring back at them through the holes of the mask.

"Hey, what's up guys?"

"So another successful S-Rank, huh?" asked Izumo, "What does that make now, 35?"

"I think it's 37, actually," he said, cheery voice muffled behind the porcelain.

"Yeah, yeah, either way, it's 30 something more S-Ranks than we've ever done," muttered Kotetsu, sipping syrup from a flask.

"So, what about it?"

"Well, we and some of the Jonin are headed out to Shushuya tonight! Wanna' come?"

"You guys know I can't get drunk," the ANBU deadpanned, "Not to mention, last time we did that, I ended up letting your drunk asses crash on my couch."

"C'mon man! Loosen up! Kakashi's gonna' be there; you might catch a glimpse of his face!"

"That's not gonna' get me to come, I've seen it a ton of times."

…

…

…

"..No way."

"Way," was his simple response, "It's nothing special. He just looks exactly like his Dad."

By this point, the two 'Eternal Chuunin's jaws were touching the ground.

He sweatdropped, "You better close that mouth before you catch flies, Kotetsu. With all that syrup you chug, I wouldn't be surprised."

Getting over their initial shock, the two continued to try and persuade him.

"The Uchiha's probably gonna' be there...I think Gai and his team will too…"

"You're putting Lee and alcohol in the same room? Count me out."

…

...

"Alright, time for our ace in the hole…" muttered Izumo.

Kotetsu nodded.

They spoke as one:

"Sakura's going to be there."

…

…

The ANBU was unfazed.

"Guys, I stopped chasing Sakura _years_ ago. You'll have to do better than that."

"We'll treat you to some ramen at Ichiraku?"

…

…

…

"What time should I meet you guys at Shushuya?"

* * *

Bermuda Triangle

Hokage Tower

November 23, 2013

4:45 P.M.

* * *

"And that's the gist of it," finished Boar, concluding his mission report.

Tsunade nodded, "Thank you Boar. Now…"

She leaned forward, chin resting on her interlaced fingers.

"Is he ready?"

The ANBU nodded, smile beneath his porcelain mask.

The Slug Sannin sighed, it what almost seemed to be relief.

"ANBU Squad 17, you are dismissed. Boar, would you please grab Kitsune for me?"

The ANBU all nodded, and, as one, disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

…

...

The last of the Senju smiled to herself, leaning back in her chair and pouring a saucer full of sake. She lifted it up to her lips to drink it-

(*WHAM*)

"HOKAGE-SAMA!"

-before promptly spilling it all over the desk.

"Gah, Hell…" she muttered, wiping it up, "Dammit Yamato, knock before you open the doo-"

She stopped upon seeing the man's state of attire.

His whole upper body was torn up, hitai-ate and flak vest missing. His pants were in tatters, and were a length at which you might consider them shorts. He was out of breath and pale, clear that he had been running for hours on end.

Her amber eyes narrowed, as she silently activated the barrier and privacy seals of her office.

"What happened."

"No time...to explain…" he panted, "Get...Kakashi…"

* * *

Konoha Gates

November 23, 2013

4:43 P.M.

* * *

(*SHWOOO*)

A blur of navy whizzed by the three, leaving a trail of dust in its wake.

"...Was that Yamato-taicho?" asked the ANBU.

Kotetsu shrugged, "I dunno'. Only you have eyes fast enough to see it."

(*FWOOSH*)

Boar appeared next to them in a swirl of leaves.

"Kitsune, the Hokage would like to see you."

The other ANBU straightened and nodded. Waving a silent farewell to his comrades, he sprinted in the direction of the tower, Boar following behind.

Izumo frowned, "That's odd…"

"What?"

"Yamato was sent out with an entire _squad_ to Kumo, just a few days ago…"

* * *

Hokage Tower

November 23, 2013

4:47 P.M.

* * *

The two ANBU operatives arrived at the sealed door of the Hokage's chambers.

"**Ha**! **Prepare for the scolding of your life, kit**!"

'Shut it, Kurama...' he thought back.

His captain moved to open the doors…

…

…

Only to find that they were locked tight.

"Barrier seal must be up…" muttered Boar through his mask.

Kitsune frowned, "They wouldn't put those up unless…"

Boar nodded, "Something must've happened. Something big."

"Oh! Naru- I mean, Kitsune!"

The two turned to face the Hokage's aid, Shizune.

"Hey, nee-chan, what's up?"

(*WHAP*)

"Ack! Hey!"

"We're ANBU right now, remember?" hissed Boar.

"Oh right. Sorry."

He turned back to her, "Go ahead, Shizune."

"Tsunade-sama told me to tell you that she had to cancel your meeting. Something came up."

Kitsune's eyes narrowed, "Does it have anything to do with Yamato-taicho barreling through here?"

She shrugged, "Most likely, but I don't have the details. I was told to give you the rest of the day off, and to report to her office first thing tomorrow."

The two slowly nodded, the younger of the two heading off to his apartment.

* * *

Bermuda Triangle

Hokage Tower

November 23, 2013

5:15 P.M.

* * *

(*NOK NOK*)

Tsunade walked over the window to find the Copy Nin casually waving.

She opened it.

"Yo," he said.

"Get your ass in here, Hatake. You're late."

The Jonin obliged, "Ah, but only 30 minutes late. If you didn't tell me it was urgent, I would've taken 3 hours or so-"

His mood turned serious upon seeing a bloodied and beaten Yamato splayed out over a chair.

"Hey Kakashi…" he coughed, "Long time no see."

His one eye narrowed.

"Tenzou, what the hell happened to you? Who did this?"

"It's...(*KOFF*)...Yamato…"

The copy-nin rolled his one visible eye. The ANBU hidden in the bookcase wondered whether or not the Sharingan did too.

"The mission to Kumo was a success," he managed to rasp out, "Those trading blockades have been taken care of."

"Dammit Yamato! What happened!?"

Satisfied at pissing off an S-Ranked Jonin, the ex-Root operative began.

"My squad and I had concluded our meeting with the Kumo Civilian Council and was leaving the premises when we ran into the Raikage, who was looking worried."

The Hokage frowned, "A? Looking worried? That's a first."

"That's what I thought. So I approached him and inquired."

"He told me that B hadn't been back in the village for a while, and that he wasn't at any of of his usual training spots or his mountain house. So he asked us to relay that to you, Hokage-sama, in the form of a mission for Hi no Kuni."

"Hm? Why wouldn't he just send some of his own ninja?"

"He did. But day after day, they'd turn up empty handed. And since Konoha is famous for our numerous bloodlines, he was hoping that maybe a Hyuuga or Inuzuka would be able to find his brother."

"I see," muttered Kakashi, "While logical, that still doesn't explain why you look like you've been through hell and back."

"Well, we had an Inuzuka in the squad, so we figured we would be able to do it."

Tsunade gazed back harshly, "That wasn't your call, Yamato. And what happened to your squad?"

"I understand, and I'm willing to take full responsibility. As for my squad…"

"We set out into the peninsula, before hearing the sounds of battle a couple hundred miles out. We found several of Kumo's shinobi locked in battle with several unidentified enemies."

"And each of them was wearing the trademarked cloak of the Akatsuki."

Two sets of eyes widened in unison.

Or rather, one and a half sets of eyes…

...Never mind.

"I ordered part of my squad to break off and assist them. They complied, and the rest of us moved on."

"We eventually found Kirabi engaged in one-on-one combat with a masked man. The remaining 4 members of my team attacked, while the iryounin and I fell back with the Jinchuuriki."

"He told me to deliver a message back to Konoha to 'One Eye', 'Bowl Cut', or 'Mr. Nine'. He said, and I quote:

'Go back to Leaf, cuz' that man in red n' black,  
He's out for Mr. Nine, the ShaRinnegan's back!'"

* * *

America

November 23, 2013

5:25 P.M.

(Chitoge)

* * *

(*FSSH*)

I stopped walking, glanced over at the rustling bushes and sighed.

"Tsugum_iiii_," I grumbled, "Didn't I tell you _**not**_ to follow me around everywhere?"

The girl didn't move from her position.

"My sincerest apologies mistress," was her curt response, "But I have been ordered by not only Claude, but also your father, Master Adelt. Their commands supersede yours."

My eyes narrowed, "**Fine**. But if you're going to be following me home, at least walk beside me."

"Understood."

She leapt out of the brush, over me, and onto my other side in under a second.

"Shall we go?" she smiled.

* * *

Bermuda Triangle

Shushuya

November 23, 2013

8:07 P.M.

* * *

"Hey guys!"

He ran over to the group.

"Hey, Naruto!" called Kiba.

'Let's see, Team 10's here, so is Team 8, minus Kurenai, and Team Guy. Who else we got... Anko, Kotetsu, Izumo, Genma, Iruka, Raido, and Aoba. Then Sasuke, Sai, and…

Sakura. Great.'

"**Hey, isn't this the first time you've seen her since**-"

'Yes. You don't have to say it, Kurama.'

A couple of the ninja gave him high-fives or fist bumps (Sasuke and Shino giving him subtle nods), as the group of shinobi made their way inside the most famous tavern in the Leaf.

"Hey Sasuke, Sakura, where's Kakashi-Sensei? I thought he was going to be here?"

"Oh! Um, I think he had a meeting with Tsunade-sama earlier…"

"...I see…"

Kiba leaned over to Ino:

"I 'see' that those two are still awkward as ever," he whispered, earning him a soft slap in the arm.

"Hey Naruto," said Iruka, walking over and ruffling the younger boy's hair, "Nice to see ya'."

Nobody seemed to notice the small paper he slipped between the fabric and metal of the boy's hitai-ate.

* * *

BeeHive HQ

November 23, 2013

9:51 P.M.

(Chitoge)

* * *

(*NOK NOK*)

"Come in!" I called from my bed.

The door was pushed open, just enough for Tsugumi to stick her head in.

I frowned slightly. She usually never disturbed me past 9 unless it was urgent.

"What is it, Tsugumi?"

"Master Adelt wants to see you in his office tomorrow. Says it's important."

My brow creased further, "What about?"

She shrugged, "No idea. But Claude and I have received his summons as well, if that helps any."

I shook my head, "Not much. Is there anything else?"

"That is all I was told. Good Night, Mistress."

She shut the door.

I laid down, and raised the covers to my nose. Though the lamps were off, the moon shone brightly through the open window, bathing my whole room in a silvery light.

"Something...important…?"

* * *

BeeHive HQ

November 24, 2013

9:27 A.M.

* * *

I truly hated the BeeHive Common.

It was always bustling, crowded, and full of life; a stark contrast from the infiltration and assassination missions that I'd learned to associate them with. The air was always filled with raucous laughter, and the noxious stench of cigarette fumes.

But if you wanted to get anywhere in the base, you had to pass through it. Aside from using the roof of course, but Master Adelt had something against me swinging in through his.

I was brought out of my reverie by a familiar voice.

"Oh, Seishirou! Good Morning!"

I smiled, "Morning, Johnson."

That was Kane Johnson. Head of the Spying Division by night, pro-gambler by day it seemed. You could always find him in the common, swindling a few of the grunts in games of BlackJack, Poker, and the like. He was skilled with his hands, and had personally demonstrated to me not only his ability with small blades, but also his sleight-of-hand techniques.

He held up a deck of cards, "Care for a quick game?"

I quirked an eyebrow, "With you? What do you take me for?"

He grinned, "Ah, you know me too well. Where you headed?"

"Master Adelt has requested my presence in his office, as well as that of the Mistress."

His brow furrowed, "I was told something similar. Here, I'll walk down with you."

The man got up, towering above me at 6' 2". He wrapped the cards in a rubber band and stuffed them in his pocket.

"So do you know what this meeting is for? I wasn't told," I asked as we started walking.

"Neither was I," he said, running a hand over his stubbled chin, "But, I heard that the boss had some big announcement later. You think it has anything to do with that?"

I looked up at him in surprise, "Really? I was not aware of that."

He smirked, "Well maybe if you actually _talked_ to any of the other guys, you'd know. Honestly, hang around the common for a couple minutes, an' you're bound to hear somethin' interesting."

I flushed a little, "Rumors with no substance rarely have any use."

He smiled, ruffling my hair a bit, "It'd do you well to keep both your eyes _and_ your ears open sometimes, Seishirou. Every rumor or bit of gossip has at least _some_ truth to it."

I sighed, "I guess that's true."

Indeed it was. Johnson was one of the only 4 people to know of my true identity. How, you ask? Well, he heard a rumor, and went to confirm it himself.

And if there was one thing good about the man, it was his tendency to obsess and overthink everything. It's saved many lives, many times.

As we arrived, the man reached up and rapped his gloved knuckles against the hard oak of the door.

(*NOK NOK*)

"Come in."

I unconsciously stood straighter at hearing his voice.

See, the boss was like that; he was a naturally born leader. His stern gaze simply _demanded_ respect, and he spoke in a way that conveyed confidence, logic, and reason.

We walked in together, to find not just Master Adelt, Mistress Chitoge, and Claude, but also the heads of the other divisions.

"Welcome gentlemen," he said upon our entry, "Take a seat."

My face almost fell, as I took the seat next to Ojou.

It wasn't that he didn't know; he'd figured it out all on his own. He just said that to keep up appearances.

Didn't stop it from irking me though.

How much longer does this secret have to be kept though? I mean, Paula's the Third Best assassin in the division, and she gets respect. Why can't I do that?

I inwardly shook my head to clear it. This wasn't the time to think about that. There was business to attend to.

"Gentlemen..." he began.

He nodded toward Chitoge and I, "...And _ladies_..."

I hid small smile at that, and gave him the most subtle of nods. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Johnson stifling a smirk.

Adelt continued, "Let me get right down to business. We're moving back to Japan."

Several sets of eyes widened, as some made moves to speak, among them Claude and the Mistress.

Adelt merely held up his hand, and all were silenced.

"I understand your complaints. The BeeHive and Shuuei-gumi did not exactly have the best of relationships."

He rested his chin upon his interlaced fingers, "But Ichijou and I… Not only are we good friends...but business partners. The Shuuei-gumi controls roughly 50% of the economy in that area. And well… Hana'd kill me if that continued."

All complaints vanished immediately after the mention of 'Mistress Flower', and the catastrophe that'd follow whenever she was so much as a _little_ irritated.

"So," Claude spoke, pushing up his glasses, "The goal here would be to force back the Shuuei-gumi's influence...with our own?"

He nodded in confirmation.

"Given that it's Madame Flower's hometown," started Smith, the head of the Tactics Division, "I'd imagine that she wouldn't appreciate that a rival gang had taken over her 'home turf' as it were."

"But how do you suppose we do this?" inquired Ackerman, head of the Infiltration Division, "We haven't been based in Japan for almost a decade. It'd take a lot of effort to even get our metaphorical foot in the door."

"I've spoken to Ichijo about this," spoke our leader, "He's stated his agreement to assist us in reestablishing some of our old connections."

It was my turn to speak up, "But sir, why would he do such a thing? You've stated yourself that he was the leader of a rival gang; why would he help us?"

He smiled, "Like I said, while the grunts may have a problem with one another, Ichijo and I are on good terms, as are his executives and ours. As long as the divisions are kept in check, there should be nothing to worry about."

He stood, "That concludes this meeting. The relocation will be officially announced later today, and the move scheduled a week from now."

"Smith, Johnson, Ackerman, Takahashi, Claude, and Braun, you're dismissed. Chitoge and Seishirou, if you would?"

The 5 Division heads piled out, Claude and Johnson glancing at me and the Mistress over their shoulders, before the former walked off, the latter asking Takahashi to join him in a game of Texas Hold 'Em, before the door closed.

The Mistress frowned, "Papa, why am I here? Why'd you even call me to the meeting in the first place; it had nothing to do with me!"

The crease of his brow was quite noticeable, "Chitoge, you're my daughter, my family. You deserve to know these things."

She slowly nodded, and left to pack her things.

…

...

"Sir, if I may…" I began.

He nodded his consent, "Go on, Tsugumi-chan."

I flushed a bit, "Simply _entering_ rival territory would be unadvisable. But _basing_ ourselves in hostile territory seems like a terrible decision."

He frowned, "I don't understand your concern. The gang can handle itself-"

My gaze hardened slightly, "It's not the gang. I'm concerned for the Mistress' safety."

He paused, before smiling and nodding.

"I understand your concern. But it's been taken care of. I had Claude put in a request for extra man-power."

I quirked a brow, "Extra...manpower, sir? You mean you asked Claude for more bodyguards?"

He nodded in confirmation, "Yes, and he's set to meet with us at the new base about a week from now."

My confusion furthered, "Sir, where exactly did Claude get this extra person? How do we know we can trust someone outside the 'family'?"

He smiled again, "He's Claude's Nii-san's student. He's certainly trustworthy."

* * *

Bermuda Triangle

Nami no Kuni

November 24, 2013

10:39 A.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

(*TMP TMP TMP*)

(*KSHHHhhh….KSHHHhhh…*)

My constant footsteps and the slow crashing of waves against the boat were the only sounds aboard the small vessel as I paced back and forth.

'This is stupid!' I muttered, 'What the hell were they thinking!? After years of doing the exact opposite, they send me on a _**bodyguard**_ mission?!'

"**I don't know what to tell you kid**," was the Fox's response, "**And the conditions are bullshit**."

* * *

Four Hours Earlier

* * *

"A Bodyguard mission, baa-chan!? Have you finally gone senile!?"

Had to dodge a paperweight for that one.

"Your assignments are **my** decision brat, and the Hokage's word is final. Now do you want the mission specs or not?"

I walked over and plopped down in a chair, grumbling as I went.

Her eye twitched, "You have been assigned as backup for the bodyguard detail of one Chitoge Kirisaki."

"**Sounds hot**."

'Shut it.'

"Estimated length of mission is 2 years-"

"TWO YEARS!?"

"-and upon return, you will take your final test before your official nomination as Hokage."

I immediately stopped complaining.

She smirked, "For this mission, I have a special condition lined up."

I raised an eyebrow, "...Special how?"

She visibly swallowed before continuing, "You can't use jutsu."

…

…

…

"**WHAT**!?"

Aaaand, the complaining was back.

"It's to test whether or not you can survive and defend this girl without the use of chakra."

"Are you kidding me!? Baa-chan, those parameters are bullshit; it's impossible!"

She smirked, "Oh? Are you saying that you can't take down a few yakuza without all those fancy Ninjutsu of yours?"

I said nothing, choosing only to grit my teeth.

(*K-CHNK*)

I turned to see my Sensei walk in, eye closed, and two fingers in a casual salute.

"Yo."

Tsunade's brow twitched, "Kakashi, I called you here an hour ago."

He eye-smiled, rubbing the back of his head, "Whoops."

She sighed, before motioning to him.

He nodded and continued for her, "You'll be working alongside my Otouto and his apprentice. They-"

"Waitwaitwaitwaitwait, you have a _brother_!? Why didn't you tell us!?"

"It never came up," he said simply.

I would've facefaulted, had I not been still pissed at the parameters.

Kakashi seemed to sense my unease, as he continued, "Technically, you're allowed to use basic Kenjutsu, Taijutsu, and Fuuinjutsu, but anything else is off the table. If we sense a flare of chakra, you automatically fail."

"But wait," I started, "How would you know if it was me who used a jutsu? What is it was Kakashi's brother or something?"

"Claude can't use jutsu," was his response, "And neither can anybody out there. They have chakra, but just enough to survive. Instead, they rely on technology far more advanced than our own."

"Wait, 'out there'? Where exactly is this mission?"

"Japan," said Tsunade, "You'll be leaving the Elemental Countries for this one."

…

…

"**WHAT?!**"

* * *

Present

* * *

"I'm still totally confused…" I muttered.

"**Understandable**," Kurama said, "**I smell something fishy about this mission**…"

'Are you sure it's not just that we're on a boat?'

"**Haha. But I'm serious. They send you on a **_**bodyguard**_** mission, out of the country, for 2 years, and prohibit use of chakra so you can't be tracked**."

I realized what he was saying, 'It's almost exactly what they did during the war to keep Tobi from finding me...'

"**Exactly**. **It seems rather suspicious, doesn't it**?"

I finally took a seat on the deck, sitting cross-legged.

'Alright,' I began, 'So as far as arsenal goes, what do I have?'

"**If I remember correctly, they said you can't release any chakra**. **That means no Kage Bunshin, Rasengan or variants, or any real offensive jutsu**."

I nodded, 'I figured that much. What else do I got?'

"**Well**," he continued, "**Tree Walking and Water Walking are fine as well, since they don't release chakra outside the body. Channeling chakra to your body should work, to increase strength, durability, and the like.**"

'Okay, those I didn't know. Any others?'

"**Let's see… You can use that Henge of yours, since it's a shapeshift, not a Genjutsu.**"

'...I see… so Tree Walking, Water Walking, Henge, Enhancement, Fuuinjutsu, Kenjutsu, and Taijutsu..'

"**Don't forget Senjutsu. Tracking and Sage Mode are usable as well**."

I frowned, 'So are Chakra Mode and Bijuu Mode out then?'

"**Definitely. Those modes both overflow your reserves with demon chakra; you'd fail the damn mission before you even activated it.**"

'Dammit. Those are my two strongest transformations.'

"Oi! Naruto!"

I broke out of meditation to see Kakashi staring down at me.

"What is it Sensei?"

He took out a notebook-sized box, and handed it to me.

"I forgot to give you this!" he said cheerfully.

I tore the box open to reveal...a uniform?

I looked to him, "The hell is this?"

He gave me an eye-smile, "Your uniform! You'll be attending Bonyari Public High School!"

…

…

…

"**WHAT!?**"

* * *

**And, that's it for now!**

**Man, it took me a whole month to type this one up! And it's just a prologue!**

**Oh, and I'm taking part in a Nisekoi fandub on YouTube! It'll be great; watch out for it!**

**I also did a fandub of 'Recover Decoration' (Nisekoi's 2nd ED) with original lyrics! Check it out on my channel!**

**Planning for this fic is done, and I should get back to updating my other stuff relatively soon!**

'**Til Then!**

**- Objection234 (Akane Sasu Sora on YouTube)**


	2. Chapter 1: Trial by Fire

**Huh. Whaddya' know.**

**I got another free day, so here I am, updating something I published a little over a week ago.**

**I'm actually surprised at how well this fic was received. Forty-six alerts, twenty-seven faves, and seven reviews. Not bad if I do say so myself.**

**And considering this was originally something I did to distract me from my huge case of writer's block that I got from Hello Again, and Secrets of the Goddesses.**

**The latter's update is (still) in progress and Hello Again Chapter 12 isn't even past the drafting stage yet...urgh…**

**Anyway, here's the first chapter of **_**The Promise of a Lifetime**_**!**

* * *

Japan

Beehive HQ

Gates

November 27, 2013

5:03 P.M.

* * *

(*SCROPP*)

My colossal, stuffed-to-the-fucking-brim duffel bag hit the ground with an unholy noise, as I stopped outside the recently moved-into, and the currently overpopulated, grounds of the "BeeHive" base.

"So this is it then?" I muttered.

With a chakra-enhanced leap, I was over the fence it no time flat.

I glanced over at the 3 different buildings. The place seemed to be bustling, complete with boisterous laughter, the occasional sound of members roughhousing, and the smell of cheap cigarettes in the air.

But it was certainly extravagant. There were stone angels at the gates, said gates being a brilliant gold, and connected to a wall of interlocking brick.

Even just looking down at my feet made me feel like I had entered a whole new world. The dull, standard gray of the sidewalk paled in comparison to the diamond-shaped, fuchsia tiles of the path I was on. And even the path was lined with flower-adorned bushes, each on the edge of a well kept lawn.

My eyes eventually made their way down to the bag at my feet. I sighed, unzipping and opening it.

The thing was packed with clothes, weapons, equipment, and some various, _completely_ non-ninja related mementos from my friends.

A rather beaten-up lighter from Shikamaru, a jar of ointment from Hinata, a small war-fan from Temari, a small bottle of chakra-conducive Suna sand from Gaara, a bit of poison from Anko, Kankuro, and Ino, some universal antidote from Tsunade…

Okay, so maybe some of these things could be considered equipment too.

But my eyes settled on the small ring with a pinkish diamond.

Flashes of that night flew before my eyes, before I grit my teeth and threw it back in. The metal clinked against Hinata's jar, before it settled at the bottom of the bag.

Lost in my bitter thoughts, I zipped the thing shut. Grunting, I hoisted the bag over my shoulder once again.

It's not that it was heavy; that wasn't it at all. It was just _unnecessary_. It was just for keeping up appearances; everything else I owned (the other 99% of it) was sealed among the scroll in my back pocket, a small one on the back of my neck, and another on the back of my hitai-ate.

Said hitai-ate was falling down my forehead a bit, so I tightened it as I trudged along the path.

And as I did, a small piece of paper slipped out.

Glancing around me, and deciding that this probably wasn't the place to read it, I sealed it away. The bit of paper was now stored in a seal on my wrist, where I kept my kunai.

I stopped before the massive metal double-doors, before pushing them with a loud *CREEAAAK*.

'Gk! What the heck is with this thing? Even my normal strength should be enough to open a God damn door!'

"**Hmph. Maybe it's because you've been slacking off with your training**."

'Hey, I'd like to see you try doing a workout on a **fucking** _boat_!'

'Besides, it was only for three days. I couldn't have fallen out of practice _that_ fast.'

Not awaiting his response, I channeled chakra to my arms.

And like the flick of a switch, the doors flew open, hitting the inside walls with a *BAAANG*!

Inside, the normally-intimidating members of the BeeHive looked _**bloody terrified**_.

I held up my hand in greeting, "'Sup Fellas?"

…

…

…

I had never before seen chaos erupt so sychronizedly.

"H-He broke through the door!"

"Holy Crap!"

"Someone get Claude-sama!"

"Actually!" I shouted over them, trying to calm them down, "That's who I'm here for! I need to talk to him!"

(*FWOOSH*)

Suddenly, the doors on the opposite side of the room opened.

The entire lobby quieted and parted at the middle to reveal the man I was looking for.

'White hair, pink suit, gold-framed glasses. That's him alright.'

"At ease, gentlemen," he said, "This one's mine."

The others were starting to get riled up now, as they began chanting "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

The man sweatdropped, "No, I meant this one's _mine_. He's the backup I requested for the bodyguard detail of the Young Mistress."

"Ah"s and "Oh"s of understanding were heard throughout the crowd as Claude pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head.

Finally, he sighed and straightened.

"Come with me."

He turned on his heel and walked back down the hall, myself following closely.

* * *

BeeHive HQ

Tsugumi's Quarters

November 27, 2013

5:47 P.M.

(Tsugumi)

* * *

"Seishirou-sama!"

I looked up from my desk to the open door, where one of the grunts had called me.

I sighed, closing the book, "What is it, Klein? I'm off-duty right now."

"Sorry, but I have some bad news! Almost the entire cooking staff was simultaneously hospitalized today after exposure to some kind of deadly disease native to Japan!"

"Sounds like something they'll get over in a couple days. But why are you telling me?"

"Well, it's almost dinner, and the guys don't really know how to cook, so…"

"And let me guess," I fully turned to him, "You want me to do it?"

"...Please?"

…

With a heavy sigh, I stood, rolling up the sleeves of my sweatshirt.

"Fine. But only 'till the chefs recover."

"Aw, thanks! You're the greatest, sir!"

…

…

"...Stop talking, Klein."

* * *

BeeHive HQ

Claude's Office

November 27, 2013

5:13 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

(*K-TNK*)

I watched as Claude shut the door behind him.

"My sincerest apologies for the actions of my men back there," he said, pushing up his glasses, "They tend to be… excitable."

"Not a prob," I said, rolling my shoulder, "But I still don't understand what they were flipping out about. All I did was break down a door."

The man visibly blanched, "You...broke through the entrance?"

I nodded, unsure what the big deal was.

The man gathered himself, before giving me a light smirk.

"Well, at least I know you're capable."

I paused.

"Huh?"

He elaborated, taking a seat, "Naruto-kun, that was a door made of incredibly strong alloy of titanium and steel, the lock reinforced with maraging steel, chromium, and graphene… And you say you broke through it?"

"Sounds fancy," I muttered, scratching the back of my head as I sat as well, "Yeah, I just channeled a bit of chakra and it came down like it was nothing. If you really wanted a sturdy door, you should've put some seals into it."

"Hmph. Duly noted."

The man leaned back in his chair, "So did Kakashi tell you anything? I know he tends to be a bit sparse on the information front…"

"You have no idea. I didn't even know he had a brother 'till a few days ago."

"As expected," he said, tidying up the desk a bit, "I left the Elemental Countries when Otou-sama died, and we haven't really conversed since."

"Really? What made you leave?"

"I was never cut out to be a ninja. My chakra levels were about as low as a civilian, though I can perform basic control exercises like Leaf Balancing. When Tou-sama died, I moved in with my only living relatives, aside from Kakashi of course."

He stood up, walking over to the cabinet and withdrawing a glass, "He didn't take it well. He thought I was abandoning him, and after that I heard he threw himself into his work. He became captain of the ANBU around 13, and renowned the world over for his use of the Sharingan as 'The Man of Over 1000 Jutsu'."

He chuckled a bit, pouring himself some scotch,"Or, rather, the 'Shinobi' world over."

He stopped for a second, "Ah! Where are my manners. Would you like a drink?"

"Hm? Oh, if it's not any trouble."

He grinned, grabbing me a glass as well, "So, if I may ask…"

He set the cup on the table, sliding it to me.

"You're name is Fishcake, right? What's the deal with that?"

Good thing I hadn't taken a sip yet. Otherwise, I would've done a spit take.

"It's maelstrom actually. Spiraling Maelstrom."

I took a swig, feeling the burning liquid go down my throat.

"Ah, that's good stuff."

Claude smirked, pouring himself another glass, "You know, when I offered you a drink, I was half-joking. Didn't expect you'd actually go for it."

He gulped a bit down, wiping his mouth on a kerchief, "You got some balls, brat."

"Old enough to kill, old enough to drink," I said simply, "'Sides, I can't get drunk anyway. Ol' fuzzbutt burns out the alcohol."

"Ah, I see," he said, a bit of pink tinting his cheeks, "Kakashi told me about your burden. You've earned my respect, kid."

"Gee thanks," I muttered, "Now who exactly is this girl I'm supposed to be protecting? Erm… 'Chidoke Kirizagi', was it?"

"Actually, it's 'Chitoge Kirisaki'. She's the boss' daughter, and our mistress. I've personally seen to her protection since she could barely walk and talk. But as of recent years, due to my ascension in the ranks, I've been swamped with work. So, I've assigned my apprentice as her escort."

"You left your apprentice in charge of the girl you've watched grow up?" I asked, polishing off the glass, "You must have a great deal of faith in him."

He nodded, finally removing his glasses, "Yes, I've come to see Tsugumi as my own son. I've pretty much raised him from the day I found him on the streets."

"Hm? How'd that happen?" I asked, reaching across the table and refilling my glass.

He smirked, "The little rascal was able to actually swipe not just my wallet, but my trusty Magnum. Takes some guts to do that, and even more skill to pull that off at seven years old."

"I saw potential in him," he continued, "So I took him back to base with me. He got along really well with the Mistress, and they've been close friends ever since. It's part of the reason I made him her personal bodyguard."

I nodded in understanding, motioning for him to continue.

"Since then, Seishirou's become one Hell of a hitman. He fought his way to the top, becoming BeeHive's top assassin, second only to me."

"Hm, that's quite impressive," I said, "You must be very proud."

"Indeed. He's grown into a fine young man."

…

…

"...Say, I noticed you have a ring on that glove of yours. You married?"

He regarded me with a sad smile, "No, not anymore. Being a gangster is a profession that almost always ends with a bullet. As a result…"

"...She left. Took everything she owned while I was out on a remote op, and was just...gone. Left me a note, telling me everything she wanted to say, but…"

"...In the note, it said she was pregnant. And that she couldn't stand the thought of her child growing up without a father…"

"**And she left**?" pointed out the Kitsune in my head, "**What kind of ass-backwards logic is that**?"

"...I'm sorry, man," I said, ignoring Kurama.

He ran a gloved hand through his hair, "...It's fine...That was almost 20 years ago; it's all behind me now."

…

…

"So…" I began, trying to change the subject, "You said Chitoge was like a daughter to you, right? Tell me about her."

His mood brightened a bit, "She's an adventurous one, alright. When she was in Japan ten years ago, every day she'd sneak out of the mansion and come back covered in dirt. She'd go off and play with her friends; she'd tell us all about her adventures at dinner. The time she got stuck in a crevice, or when one of her friends got hurt protecting her from a wolf…"

He sighed, "But in recent years, she's had a bit of trouble making friends… So a couple of us decided to try and help by running background checks on everyone in her class."

That time, I did do a spit take.

"But to no avail, as all it seemed to do was make it worse. Since then, all the other students would keep their distance, not wanting to get involved with the heiress to the most vicious criminal syndicate in the country."

"So that's why she was excited for the move. No one knows of her status here, so she thinks it'll be easier for her to make connections."

"I see," I said simply, extending my glass, "Well, I'm certainly rooting for her."

He smiled, doing the same, "As am I."

The glasses clinked, and we gulped down the smooth liquid.

(*KCH-TNK*)

A bearded man poked his head in.

"I thought I heard glasses. Claude, why didn't you tell me you were having a scotch party?"

The man's brow twitched, "Because I wasn't, Johnson. And for the record, if I did have one, you wouldn't be invited."

The man fake-winced, "Ah, how you wound me so."

He then proceeded to let himself in, grabbed a glass, and help himself to the scotch.

"How'd you even manage to hear us? These walls are rather thick, you know."

He shrugged, "When you keep your ear to the ground as often as I do, is it really so surprising?"

Claude sighed, "Naruto, this is Johnson. He's the head of the BeeHive's Spy Network."

The man extended his hand, "Kane Johnson. Nice to meet you."

I shook it, making sure to give it a firm grip, "Naruto Uzumaki. Hajimemashite."

"So what did you need?" asked the silver-haired man.

"Oh, right. I came to ask: Why has my network reported sightings of your apprentice working in the kitchen?"

"Hm? Seishirou has a day off today; I have no idea what he's doing."

Johnson shrugged, "Well he is for some reason. Don't shoot the messenger."

Claude looked to me, "I suppose if you'd like to meet him, now would be as good a time as any. The kitchen's down the hall to the left."

I nodded, placing my cup down.

"Alright. Thanks for the scotch!" I called as I walked out.

* * *

BeeHive HQ

Kitchen

November 27, 2013

6:03 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

I entered, unsure of what to expect. Was it just some guy makin' a snack? A super straitlaced teen stir-frying some vegetables? Or maybe a really buff dude in a "Kiss the Cook" apron?

Kurama snorted at that mental image, and even I had to stifle a laugh.

What I wasn't expecting was a blue-haired woman whipping up a complete _dinner_ large enough to serve hundreds.

There was all kinds of foods, from American turkey and roast beef, to Japanese Yakisoba, Ramen (I drooled a bit), and a whole bunch of stuff I couldn't identify.

"Oi!"

I looked back to the woman behind the operation, to see her, back to me, arm extended.

"If you got time to stand around, you got time to help out. Now toss me the paprika."

I glanced at the assortment of spices on my right. Finding the right one, I tossed it to her, the shaker landing perfectly in her open palm.

"Nice throw," she said, "Now chop some onions."

After a bit of pondering, I shrugged, rolled up my sleeves, washed my hands, and got to work.

Over the past year, I had to learn to cook for an assassination mission, where I was impersonating some uber-famous chef, and had to poison the entire party. And trust me, while the food _looked_ amazing, I certainly didn't hold back on that second front. Atroquinine did the trick, with it's lethal dosage of 0.002 milligrams.

Of course, the food itself tasted great. Minus the deadly toxin of course.

So, I cut the onion, making sure to do so under the running water of the sink to dilute the released gas.

"Hey, did you want these to be sliced or diced?" I called.

"Diced. Real small," she said promptly, sprinkling the paprika over what appeared to be an egg salad.

"Done," I said, finishing in a matter of seconds, "Now what?"

"Get those potatoes there and start mashing. There should be a bowl on your left," she said, still not looking.

I grabbed said potatoes, and sure enough, there was a bowl on my left.

"You certainly know your way around the kitchen," I said, going to town on the root vegetables.

"The first thing you should do when entering new territory is memorize your surroundings," she said.

I shook my head, 'Man, this girl is all business. She really needs to loosen up.'

"**Hmph**. **Definitely**."

I stopped mashing, setting down the spiked-mallet.

"There, done."

The teen stopped and made her way over. And as she did so, I finally got a good look at her.

Midnight blue hair framed a heart-shaped face, as piercing, crimson eyes stared back at me. A single beauty mark adorned her pale, flawless skin, just below her right eye.

She ran a dainty finger through the potatoes, before sticking it in past her pouting lips.

"Hm… the texture's near perfect. Not bad, blondie."

My eye twitched at that.

"Now," she handed me a ladle, "Stir the stew over there. Don't let it burn."

"Roger," I answered, making my way over.

And that's how it continued. I followed whatever the woman told me to do, with minimum conversation between us. Until finally…

"Hey! Dinner's ready you low-lifes!"

I sweatdropped at the teen's lackadaisical call through the intercom, as she undid the apron that she'd been wearing over her blazer.

"We make a pretty good team, ne?"

She sighed, "I must admit, you're not half bad... Whiskers."

My brow twitched at that.

She laughed a bit, drying her hands on a towel.

"But really, I don't think I've seen you around before," she said, "And you got a different aura from those other jerks."

"Yeah, I just got here today." I said, "I was supposed to come here and-"

"Wait…" I realized something, "Miss, would you happen to know where Seishirou-san went? Claude-san told me he was here."

The woman looked shocked for a second.

"Y-you can tell I'm a girl?"

I gave her an odd look, "Of course. Was that supposed to be a secret or something?"

"No, not really… It's just that…"

"You're one of the only people in the base to figure it out. Everyone else seems to think I'm a man."

I shrugged, "It's probably the way you speak. You use 'boku' and 'ore'; maybe try 'atashi' or 'watashi' once in a while."

It was her turn to twitch.

"Your clothes too," I continued, "Not many women go around in blazers and khakis."

She gave a light glare, "I wear this because it's _functional_. I wouldn't be able to do anything in frilly girl clothes."

I quirked an eyebrow, "What would a chef like you need to worry about 'functional'?"

This time, she laughed. It was light, and airy, like some kind of heavenly melody.

"Ah… Listen Orange," she said, causing me to twitch again, "Just because I'm a damn good cook…that doesn't mean it's all I do."

"Hm?"

She smiled, "I'm actually the girl you're looking for. Seishirou Tsugumi. The BeeHive's Top Assassin. You must be my backup"

…

…

"...HUH!?"

"B-but you…" I sputtered, "a-and he said… and ...b-but… WHAT!?"

She sighed this time, pinching the bridge of her cute nose.

"I see you've talked to Claude."

I nodded, "Y-yeah. He said you were like a _son_ to him."

Seishirou sighed again, and sat on the counter opposite me.

"That's what he thinks. Ever since he found me, he's thought I was a boy for some reason. Picked a random boy's name from a book, and it all snowballed from there."

"The weird thing is, even over the past decade, he hasn't figured it out. We've bathed together, and he even does laundry for me sometimes."

I could almost _feel_ the Kitsune's howls of laughter.

"So it's been a fucking decade, and he hasn't noticed?! No wonder he needs glasses; he must be going blind!"

She chuckled again, "But it really is something. Only you, Ojou-sama, Adelt-sama, Hana-sama, and Johnson-san know about me. Adding in you to that list, that's a grand total of...five."

"Wait, why don't you just tell him? Wouldn't it be easier to just clear everything up?"

She laughed a mirthless laugh, "And what exactly would I tell him? 'Hey, you know the person you've thought of as a son for over a decade? Yeah, she's a girl.'"

I shrugged, not really sure what to say.

…

…

"Wait, you gave all kinds of evidence as to why people might mistake me for a man. How'd you figure it out?"

I flushed a bit, "Um… Do you really want to know?"

She nodded, leaning closer.

I averted my gaze, "You...smelled nice. Like cinnamon... and vanilla."

A bit of pink tinged her cheeks at that, as she looked away as well.

"D-don't mention that to anybody... got it?"

I nodded wordlessly, before looking back to her.

…

…

"..So is that like, lavender shampoo, or..?"

(*K-CHK*)

An odd metal contraption shaped like a boomerang emerged from her sleeve, as she put one end to my chin, face matching the color of her eyes.

"..Not…a...**word**."

I frowned, before moving the metal bit away from my chin.

"What the heck is that thing?" I asked, pointing to the device, "Are you supposed to hit me with that or something?"

The girl almost blanched, before looking back to me.

"Y-you don't know what a gun is?"

I rose an eyebrow, "Is that what that is? Doesn't look like it'd hurt much."

"...Come with me."

And the girl took her hand in mine as she dragged me through the hall.

* * *

BeeHive HQ

Claude's Office

November 27, 2013

6:47 P.M.

* * *

"And I was all like… 'chicken nuggets'!"

…

...

"...Johnson, you make that joke every time I see you, and it's equally humorous each time. That is to say, not at all."

(*KTNK*)

"Claude-sama!"

The man turned to the now-open door, to face his pseudo-son.

"Seishirou-kun. What is it?"

"This guy," the teen dragged in her new partner, "doesn't know what a gun is!"

Johnson raised an eyebrow while Claude pushed up his glasses.

"Not surprising. Naruto-kun is from a land where several forms of technology do not exist. And even those that do are rarely used."

"Hey!" he cried, indignantly, "We had trains! And televisions! And refrigerators, microwaves, cameras-"

"But you didn't have guns," Tsugumi cut in.

He shrugged, "Well, no."

She turned back to Claude, "And you're making _him_ a bodyguard!?"

Naruto twitched.

"Are you doubting my capability as a warrior?"

She turned back to him, "A little bit, yes."

"Seishirou," began Claude, "I understand your concern. But Naruto-san is anything but unqualified."

She crossed her arms over her chest, "Well, I'm not convinced."

He twitched again.

She grabbed his hand for the second time in mere moments.

"C'mon."

"Wha? Where're we going now?!"

"The Sparring Hall! I'm going to settle this!"

She pulled him out of the room, Claude setting down his glass and following.

…

…

Meanwhile, the only man in the room took a swig at his drink.

'So, Naruto's from a society where only certain bits of technology exist, but are rarely used… implying the reliance on something...different...'

'Claude also seemed rather confident about his skills… Not to mention he can't be more than 17, and he's drinking already...'

'So...' he concluded, 'This 'Naruto' must come from some out-of-date, militaristic society that relies on a different source of energy...'

'Interesting...'

* * *

BeeHive HQ

BeeHive Common

November 27, 2013

7:14 P.M.

(Chitoge)

* * *

"C'mon! If we don't get moving soon, we're gonna' miss it!"

I blinked, walking up to the nearest member, "What's going on? Why's everyone piling out?"

"Hm? Oh, Ojou-sama! Well, Seishirou-sama was draggin' one of the greens to the sparring hall, and a couple of the guys were heading over to watch!"

"Tsugumi's going to be fighting one of the greenhorns!? The poor guy's gonna' get creamed!"

The scar-faced man shook his head, "You don't understand miss; he busted down the **door** like it was _nothing_! You shoulda' seen it!"

"Wha? The new guy did that!?"

He nodded, taking the cigar out of his mouth, "We were gonna' place all our bets on the Black Tiger 'till we heard who she was up against. After that, some of us started rootin' for blondie."

"Hmph. So how strong is he then?"

He shrugged, "I dunno'. As soon as he walked in, Claude-sama whisked him away to his office; no one had time to question him."

I managed to squeeze through the door, following the crowd to the building, where the match was about to begin.

* * *

BeeHive HQ

Sparring Hall

November 27, 2013

7:14 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

I whistled, "Some crowd, huh?"

It was true. Piled behind the barrier were over 200 people, on each side of the arena-like dojo. There was plenty of chattering; the place was bustling.

"Not really," she muttered, "This isn't even half the gang."

I almost blanched at that, "You're kidding!"

She shook her head, "Some stayed behind in America to maintain our current standing there. We also have operatives based all over the globe."

"That's actually rather impressive," I said, scratching my neck and discreetly slipping the note in my wrist to the seal, "But I suppose that makes sense."

The stadium-like room was certainly big. There were the barriers meant to protect spectators, as well as numerous different objects strewn about the field. Trees, bars, walls; the place looked almost like an obstacle course.

"What's with all the stuff everywhere?"

She smirked, "Oh, that? That's where you take cover when I start shooting."

I sweatdropped, 'Well, she's certainly confident, I'll give her that.'

The place finally settled, a hush setting over the arena.

Seishirou turned back to me, "You know why we're here."

I nodded, "You mistake my innocence for _ignorance_."

She scowled, "It's no mistake. You wouldn't survive a day in this cruel world, much less against _me_."

I smirked, "Really...?"

She continued, "You're free to use whatever you like, as it won't be enough to beat me."

(*KCHINN*)

I drew my seal-reinforced ninjato from its sheath at my back.

"We'll just have to see about that."

She grimaced, before drawing her 'gun'.

…

…

…

…

And at some, unspoken signal, it began.

The 'L'-shaped piece of metal rose to shoulder-height, before the trigger was pulled, an the mechanism began to activate.

Subtly channeling chakra to my eyes, I watched in awe as several metal pellets flew from the thing's barrel, flying through the air at incredible speeds!

'So that's what they can do...'

"**Stay on your toes, brat,**" muttered Kurama, "**I won't have my container lose to some girl with a weak weapon like that!**"

I swung my ninjato against each one, hearing the slight (*PING*) as they were all deflected.

In the tiny window of opening that I had, I rushed the girl, feinting a left slash, while I went for a upper-diagonal one.

Unfortunately, she'd caught on, sending her 'pistol' in the way of my blade to swat the attack away.

What she wasn't counting on was my blade going right through her gun.

Eyes widening in surprise, she was forced to jump away, lest she get her hand cut in two. As she leapt back, she drew another odd device, this one being bigger, with a longer barrel.

(*RATATATATATA*)

The 'bullet's were, once again, batted away by my blade.

'Looks like this one can fire multiple pellets a second. This could be trouble if it keeps up...'

I let a explosive-tag wrapped kunai out of my wrist, and flung it at the ground before her.

She laughed, "If your aim is that shoddy, you might want to consider a new career path."

I said nothing, merely pointing at the knife as the paper began to spark.

Crimson eyes widened, before she ran for cover behind a wall. I threw a tri-pronged kunai over the layer of brick, just in time for the first blade to-

(*KROOOOOM*)

* * *

BeeHive HQ

Adelt's Office

November 27, 2013

7:19 P.M.

* * *

(*FOOOOM*)

There was a loud sound off in the distance as the room shook a little. The liquid in the bottle on the table rocked back and forth, as if someone had shaken it.

The blond man managed to keep his footing, gripping the table as support.

(*DAAAN*)

The door swung open with a loud noise, Ackerman and Takahashi standing on the other side, weapons in hand.

"Sir! Are you alright?"

He nodded, "I'm fine. Was that an earthquake?"

Takahashi shook his head, "There have been confirmed reports of an explosion in the direction of the sparring hall. In situations like this, we're supposed to escort you to the bunker sir!"

"No need."

The three gentlemen looked down the hall to see Johnson approaching.

"What do you mean, Kane? Protocol says-"

"I know what protocol says. But it's nothing; Seishirou's in the sparring hall 'breaking in' her new partner."

Adelt's eyes narrowed slightly, "It's been established that the use of explosives on the premises are unallowed, ever since the incident last Independence Day!"

Ackerman stifled a laugh, as Johnson continued.

"She knows that, but her partner doesn't."

* * *

BeeHive HQ

Sparring Hall

November 27, 2013

7:19 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

I touched down silently, letting the Hiraishin kunai lodge itself in the roof, as I watched Tsugumi peer around the corner of the wall.

"Dammit," she muttered under her breath, staring into the smoke, "Wasn't expecting him to blow himself up…"

She blanched, "Shit, what am I supposed to tell Claude? Or his brother?"

She stopped upon feeling the cold metal of my kunai on her throat.

"I win," I said smugly.

"That's not fair," she grumbled, "Explosives were off-limits."

"Hey, you said, and I quote: 'You're free to use whatever you like, as it won't be enough to beat me.'."

"I guess I _did_ say that…"

Without warning, she drew another pistol from her sleeve, and stabbed the barrel into my stomach.

"...But it looks like we're at a stalemate."

I tsked, dropping the knife and leaping back as she fired.

I was forced to backpedal as the bullet chased me, threatening to lodge itself in my abdomen. The thing was going to quickly for me to even think of drawing a weapon, not even one from my wrists.

Finally, my back was quite literally, to the wall, as the projectile was mere inches in front of me. With no time to move left, right, or even duck, I did the next best thing.

I reached forward, and slapped my hands together around it, halting its advance. My hands burned against the hot metal, the drilling motion digging into my hands.

I opened them to find a smoking round the size of my thumb. My hands were slightly red from the contact, but they were already starting to heal.

"Gah, shit..." I muttered, shaking my hurt palm, "That frickin' burns!"

Meanwhile, Seishirou and the majority of the gang were gawking.

"Di-Did you just _catch_ a **bullet**?" she stammered, gun still up.

I quirked an eyebrow, "Looks like it."

I set the bit of metal between my folded index finger and thumb, like one would do to flip a coin.

I flashed a devious grin, "Catch."

And with a flick, the bullet streaked through the air, almost twice as fast as it was going before.

On instinct, the girl fired twice, two more shots flying to intercept.

The first one, my bullet pierced through with no problems. But then it ricocheted off the second, flying into the roof and lodging itself there.

'So ranged weapons appear to be her specialty… I wonder how she is at close range...'

In the brief opening I had, I shot forward, not bothering to draw my blade as I rushed her with my bare hands.

Not expecting this, she leapt up the wall, and backflipped off it onto the other side. I followed suit, sprinting up the thing with chakra and meeting her halfway.

We clashed in the air, my arm blocking a small knife from piercing my shoulder, and her leg stopping a kick that would've taken her out of commision. She quickly swung her blade into reverse grip, trying to slash me across the chest, as I changed tactics as well, moving to swing a wild haymaker that'd catch her in the jaw. Mine made it first, as she dropped the blade to the ground in pain and surprise, and I pursued, using chakra to cut my wind resistance as I dove after her.

I managed to make it to the ground first, and with a tremendous leap, I was back in the air again. The girl's crimson eyes widened as I zoomed by her, managing to slap a small seal formula to the back of her blazer.

Of course, she didn't know that.

Realizing her gun was pretty much useless at this point, she fell into a martial arts stance before leaping after me, leaving a trail of dust in her wake.

Pushing off the ceiling, I met her halfway again, as our bodies were once again locked in combat. This time, blade clanged against blade, as I had drawn my ninjato. I managed to get into the hilt of her weapon, and with a twist of my sword, forced her to drop it.

At this point, we were about ten feet from the ground, and our descent was doing nothing to slow itself. So we disengaged, leaping back to opposite ends of the field, each of us taking the moment to catch our breath.

"You're...not bad…" she managed, between pants, "You wanna'...keep going?"

I smirked, "I can do this all day."

She smirked back, as we dashed to the center of the field.

* * *

BeeHive HQ

Sparring Hall

November 27, 2013

7:23 P.M.

(Claude)

* * *

I watched in wonder as my brother's student and my apprentice traded blows yet again. Though we couldn't even hear their shouts of exertion through the barrier (it was designed to block out gunshots and even explosions), we could certainly tell they were putting their whole weight behind their moves.

It was astounding; every time Seishirou's blows connected, and I thought he had him beat, the blond would get back up like it was nothing!

I gave a small smile, as I pushed my glasses up.

'So this is what chakra can do.'

"Ah, there you are."

I turned to face my leader, bowing as I did so.

"Good Evening, Boss."

He smiled, "Good Evening, Claude. I heard we had a new arrival?"

I nodded, gesturing at the battle raging beyond the barrier, "Seishirou's sparring with him to make sure he's 'up to par' with his standards."

He rose a brow, taking a seat beside his daughter, "And is he?"

"He's amazing, Tou-san!" said Chitoge, "He broke through the common door earlier! And just a few minutes ago, he _caught_ one of Tsugumi's bullets! And now they're fighting evenly; it's insane!"

I watched as the shinobi fought off a wire-fu kick, blocking with his arm. Seishirou used its momentum as a springboard to rocket off, landing in a deep stance.

It was the blond's turn to go on the offensive, as he went into a spinning tornado kick, with all the force of its namesake. But Seishirou ducked under it, albeit just barely; you could see the gust it caused flowing through his hair.

He doubled back, before resuming his assault on Naruto, leading off with a powerful Seiken Choku Zuki. The fist shot forward, twisting as it went, but the blur of orange spun out of the way, before turning his momentum into a whirling back kick. The blow caught him right in the chest, sending Seishirou back, rubbing the hit area in surprise.

* * *

BeeHive HQ

Sparring Hall

November 27, 2013

7:25 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

I looked on in surprise as I realized what I'd just hit.

"Oh, shit. Sorry!"

The girl wordlessly flushed, switching stances as her face turned downright murderous.

"HYAH!"

This time, it was a simple, yet powerful kick, aimed at my left side. But something was off…

'She's switched from attacking with her feet to attacking with her shins… Not to mention her stance is different too; the elbows are more pronounced.'

"**So she knows multiple styles, hm?**" muttered Kurama, "**Watch out for those elbows kid. She hits you hard enough, you'll end up with a gash across your forehead.**"

'Duly noted.'

I decided to take the kick, reinforcing the area with chakra. The strike bounced right off, like she had tried kick over a steel pillar.

She briefly let up on her assault, before leaping back in with renewed ferocity. Just as my partner predicted, my _new_ partner struck with an onslaught of slashes with her elbows. I couldn't allow any of them to connect, because just _one_ would be enough to-

(*BAKRAAM*)

In the short lull, I'd left my torso open to attack. Wasting no time to exploit the momentary weakness, the woman struck both her fists against my lower jaw in a Hanuman, sending me sprawling back. Choosing to continue her offensive, she pursued, and with a flying knee, I was sent back even further.

But I flipped off my back as the girl finally let up, hanging back to catch her breath. I moved to wipe the blood off my face, and to reset my broken nose.

She smiled in satisfaction at the outcome of the brief skirmish, "Too much for you, Whiskers?"

I smirked, "Not at all. Care to take it up a notch?"

She clearly wasn't expecting a response like that, but she merely shrugged before settling into her first stance.

"Whatever. It's your funeral."

Once Kyuubi had taken care of the rest, I barreled forward, intent on ending things.

* * *

BeeHive HQ

Sparring Hall

November 27, 2013

7:28 P.M.

(Claude)

* * *

"Aw…" groaned the mistress, when the boy started bleeding, "And just when I thought he might win…"

I lightly shook my head, "Even handicapped, he can match blows with Seishirou… That's still rather impressive, wouldn't you say, Ojou?"

Her eyes widened, "Handicap? What are you talking about?"

"Ah, for the entirety of his stay here, Naruto-kun has been forbidden to use the majority of his arsenal; a large amount of which would've taken Tsugumi out of commision for a _while_," I said.

She frowned, "And why is that? Is he really that strong?"

I nodded, "His techniques can sometimes be as dangerous to him and his allies as they are to his enemies. And since he's going to be serving as a bodyguard…"

She raised an eyebrow, "A bodyguard? Whose?"

Adelt patted her on the shoulder, "Yours. Who else's?"

As the blonde gaped at her fellow blond, I watched as one of the grunts (Klein, I think his name was) whooped at the sight of the boy's blood.

"Haha! I knew it! No one's stronger than Tsugumi-sama!"

I chuckled, immediately gaining everyone's attention, seeing as I rarely did so.

"If there's one thing I learned from Uzushio…" I began.

"...It's that the whirling tides are always turning."

* * *

BeeHive HQ

Sparring Hall

November 27, 2013

7:29 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

I wasted no time, flying in with Gai and Lee's signature 'Dynamic Entry'. But the girl simply sidestepped, waiting for the opening that'd result from my landing.

When that opening came, I took an grueling hook right to the face. But, using a combination of my momentum and chakra to stick to the ground, I was able to turn on a dime, striking Seishirou with a powerful spinning, backhanded Lariat.

Not expecting the tactic, she took the blow head on, staggering back as she regained her bearings. I planted my feet firmly on the ground, contemplating my next move.

'Alright… that last one seemed to work, so let's try that agai-'

"**Dammit kid, that's the problem here**!" the Bijuu roared, "**The whole ****reason**** you've had a disadvantage is because you're planning everything**!"

'What the hell are you talking about?'

"**This girl's clearly been trained to counter whatever attack you might have in mind, so listen up! Do what you do best! Be unpredictable; abandon all logic and reason and just **_**do**_**!**"

I nodded slightly, 'Just like fighting an Uchiha then?'

"**Yeah, but without the whole pink-eye thing. That shit was disgusting if you really think about it.**"

Ignoring that last part, I decided to take the Kitsune's advice as I rushed in for the final time.

Punch. Duck. Slash. Deflect. My mind was on autopilot, as I ran with whatever it told me to do. But now…

I noticed Seishirou starting to slip up. Sure, they were minor (a landed chop here, a successful jab there, nothing major), but they were certainly there.

'I'm moving too fast for her...' I realized.

I continued my assault, refusing to let up until I got an opening. But Seishirou was equally stubborn, doing her damnedest to stop me from getting it. And finally…

'Yes!'

I sent a jaw-shattering uppercut to the base of her skull. She was lifted off the ground slightly, and the brief period of pain and shock that I had was all I needed.

Blow after blow flew at my airborne opponent, who was too exhausted from our previous bouts to properly block anymore. The assault sent her higher and higher until-

(*BLAM*)

A chakra-enhanced foot to the chin sent her flying toward the ceiling. I flashed up there, using the Hiraishin kunai from earlier, still lodged in the roof.

"You know," I called, "I don't think I ever told you my name!"

I detached my feet, flipping off the ceiling and letting gravity take its hold.

"It's not 'Orange'..."

My momentum increased as I used chakra to cut through the air.

"It's not 'Blondie'..."

I extended a single leg, as I prepared for impact.

"And it's not 'Whiskers' either!"

I slammed my spinning heel into her stomach in a devastating axe kick, that left her gasping for air, and flying toward the ground.

"My Name...is…"

Just before she hit the ground, I flashed to her side using the Hiraishin seal on her back. My momentum was still present as my spinning continued.

"**UZUMAKI NARUTO**!"

The newly named 'Spiraling Maelstrom' attack slammed into her abdomen, creating a small crater in the ground at the impact.

* * *

BeeHive HQ

Sparring Hall

November 27, 2013

7:31 P.M.

(Claude)

* * *

"TSUGUMIII!"

I watched in awe as the blond delivered the finishing blow, the blonde at my side concerned over the health of her friend.

"It's fine, Ojou-sama," I assured her, "Seishirou's trained all his life to withstand impacts of far greater intensity. He'll be fine in a few days."

Adelt looked over at me, "Even so, that's really something that your new pupil can do. Teleportation, was it?"

I pushed up my glasses, "Among other things, yes. But those aren't my place to tell you."

He nodded, staring back to the arena, as the winner took a quick lap to celebrate his victory. A bunch of the men looked rather miffed at losing their bets, while others were quite ecstatic about their own victories.

"Well," I began, "Things are definitely going to be different around here from now on."

Adelt nodded, "Now that's for certain."

* * *

**Ah. Now that was fun to write.**

**What happened with Naruto and Sakura? Does Sasuke have something to do with it? Will Tsugumi recover from her injuries? Will she finally call our blond protagonist by his actual **_**name**_**? All these answers and more, next time on Dragon Ball-**

**I mean, um, **_**The Promise of a Lifetime**_**!**

**But it all seriousness, there will be more backstory, and a pretty big timeskip next time around. The next chapter will take place from January of 2014 (When Chitoge and Raku reunite) to early March 2014 (When Tsugumi and Naruto transfer into their class).**

'**Til Then!**

**- Objection234 (Akane Sasu Sora on YouTube)**


	3. Chapter 2: A Wager?

**Hey everyone! I'm back again!**

**I... guess I'm doing a weekly update schedule now. That'll definitely change in the future, just giving you a heads-up.**

**Especially when school starts again. I'm also going on a trip to my brother's house up in Washington, then to my sister's down in Texas, so I might not be able to update for the entirety of August.**

**But, hey! The actual storyline starts here! Get psyched!**

**The next two chapters should cover Nisekoi Chapters 1-16 (or Episodes 1-8), with just a **_**bit**_** extra.**

**And anybody who catches the Deadpool and My Little Monster references gets a virtual brownie.**

**Now, without further ado... Here's Chapter 2!**

* * *

Japan

BeeHive HQ

Common

April 28, 2014

8:13 A.M.

* * *

"Ittekimasu!"

The blonde girl rushed off in a hurry, a piece of buttered toast clamped between her teeth. Her red ribbon was messily tied, holding her hair in place, and it streaked behind her in a blur of gold, pink, and crimson.

"I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!"

The girl dashed down the street with surprising speed, rounding the corner with a sharp turn that would've left most men stumbling.

And as soon as she was almost out of sight…

"Ikuzo!"

"Yokai!"

Two figures shot out of the shadows and into the air, their bodies eclipsing the sun. The two landed in perfect sync, before darting down the street in hot pursuit, making sure not to lose track of their target.

Said target moved at a swift pace (though nothing our two protagonists couldn't match), before she finally approached her destination.

As the girl began her impromptu scaling of a 6-foot wall, the duo settled in a nearby tree, prepared to step in if anything were to-

"Huh?"

"Geh!?"

(*WHAM*)

The blond sweatdropped, as he watched his fellow blonde's knee connect with the face of some schmuck.

"Poor kid," he muttered.

His companion nodded in silent agreement, as the girl peeled herself of the boy's fallen form.

"Sorry about that!" she said, with a casual wave, "But I'm in a hurry!"

She continued her mad dash to the classroom, leaving the guy in a daze as he tried to regain his bearings.

Rubbing his sleeve against it in a futile attempt to stem the flow of blood, the teen continued his trek, unwittingly leaving behind something rather important…

The two in the trees finally emerged, allowing us to take in their appearance.

The first had midnight blue hair and piercing crimson eyes. A cobalt blazer was closed over a simple white dress shirt and vermillion tie, said blazer likely loaded with all kinds of lethal firearms.

This was the BeeHive's infamous 'Black Tiger', Tsugumi Seishirou.

The other was blond with three whisker-like marks on either cheek. The open jacket of his orange and black jumpsuit flapped in the wind as he walked.

This was the BeeHive's newest addition to their already impressive lineup of agents; one Uzumaki Naruto.

The sapphire, hexagonal crystal he used to replace the First Hokage's destroyed necklace swung back and forth in the breeze. His blue eyes radiated the deadly calm of an ocean just before a storm, but his usually wide grin was twisted into a frown of confusion as he approached the glinting piece of metal in the overgrown grass.

"What's wrong?"

He knelt and pulled the object from the grass.

It was an odd, circular object with a keyhole at the center. Below it was an intricate metal design, sharp enough to stab someone with (sounds unnecessary to mention, but over the past few years, he'd been learning the various ways of ending someone's life), and the whole contraption hung, suspended on a (rather weak) metal chain.

"...The kid dropped this," he muttered, loud enough for his partner to hear.

She gave him a look, "What are you gonna' do, return it? We're only supposed to be observing right now; interacting with any of her classmates was strictly forbidden by both her father and Claude-sama unless it was an absolute emergency!"

He returned the look, "I understand that. I was just gonna' pass it off to Chitoge when I got the chance."

She quirked a thin eyebrow, "And what do you expect her to do? Return it to him?"

His expression didn't change, "...Yes."

She sighed, before turning back to the direction in which they'd both gone.

"Whatever. We should get moving; their class is about to start."

He nodded, storing the pendant in the seal within his pocket.

* * *

Bonyari High School

Trees

April 28, 2014

8:25 A.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

We'd arrived just in time to see the same boy from earlier open the door and walk in, blood still flowing from his nose.

"Yo, Rak- Whoa!"

I watched as the boy with glasses and dirty blond hair recoil in surprise at his (presumable) friend's injuries.

"Eh? Ichijou-kun, what happened!?"

This time, it was a girl with chestnut hair, eyes like amber, and the smile of an angel; a look that practically _screamed_ girl-next-door. By her side was a much shorter girl with hair a slightly darker shade, glasses, and a rather bored expression.

"Those," said Tsugumi at my side, "are Shuu Maiko, Kosaki Onodera, and Ruri Miyamoto."

I raised a brow, "So they're friends of Cross?"

It was her turn to raise an eyebrow, "Cross?"

"The first guy. I don't know his name, but he's got that cross-shaped hairpin…"

He turned to her, "Wait, how do _you_ know their names?"

She tapped her index finger to her temple, "Claude ran background checks on everyone in the school. I made sure to memorize them."

I blanched, "So you're still doing that then?"

She smiled, before narrating almost robotically, "Kosaki Onodera: Age 15. Runs a Japanese Sweet Shop with her mother and younger sister. Blood Type B, born on June 15, 1999. Favorite food is candied sweet potatoes; least favorite being Konnyaku. Currently 157 cm tall; her measurements are-"

"Alright, I get it, I get it."

"**Dammit brat**!" shouted the demon in my mind, "**You could've at least let her finish the thought**!"

'Shut the hell up, Ero Kitsune,' I shot back, 'And where the hell've you been? You haven't said a thing since I fought Tsugumi six months ago!'

And what a _wonderful_ six months it was. Without the constant grumbling of one of the most powerful demons in existence, I was free to do as I wished without all the snarky commentary!

Of course, that silence wasn't without cost.

Up until about a week ago, Claude had sent Tsugumi and I on mission after mission; we rarely got a break! He said it was to improve teamwork and chemistry; something that, while I'd understood, still kinda' left me feeling a bit miffed.

In other news, Tsugumi and I were sharing an apartment now, at the younger Hatake's instruction. So I guess I couldn't be _too_ mad at the guy.

"**I was sleeping**," grumbled the Kitsune, continuing his statement, "**I didn't miss much, did I**?"

'Well, as far as training goes, Claude's made sure to keep my nose to the fucking grindstone. The four-eyed bastard's been sending me on all kinds of 'mission's. Infiltration, retrieval, assassination, you know. The easy stuff.'

"**So nothing important**? **Kami, just wake me up when we head back home**."

'Oh, I'm living with Seishirou right now, if you consider that important.'

…

…

"**WHAT**!?"

"-ruto... Naruto!"

I was pulled out of my daze by a set of snapping fingers right in front of my nose.

"You spaced out on me… what the hell were you thinking about?"

"Umm… Nothing. What were you saying?"

Yeah... I hadn't exactly told her about Kurama yet.

…

...

...What?

What did you expect? Back home, I was straight up _ostracized_ from the minute I was born! And even the kids knew enough to stay away from me; it was a burden I'd been forced to bear my entire life, and it really wasn't something to be happy about.

Sure, it seems really out of character for someone like me (and a tad hypocritical too, considering I was trying to get her to tell Claude _her_ secret), but I'd rather build up someone's trust first before dropping a bombshell on them like that.

Unaware of the conflict turning in my mind, she continued, "I was just listing more of Ojou-sama's classmates… The one you refer to as 'Cross' is Ichijou Raku. He's the heir to the clan of Yakuza we hired you to protect the Mistress from."

I quirked a brow, "Is he dangerous?"

She shook her head, her hair trailing the movement in a whip-like effect, "Reports have stated him to have lost in any and every form of physical confrontation. His composition appears to be rather weak for a male his age…"

I gave her a flat look, "So, he's a wimp?"

"Pretty much."

I watched as Ms. Girl-Next-Door (Kosaki, was it?) apply a bandage to Cross' nose. His friend (Shoe, I think) leaned over the desk, laughing at Raku's situation, as the teen's ears turned scarlet.

I saw Shu (as Tsugumi corrected) and Lily-

"Ruri!"

-Ruri both grinned a bit at the reaction.

'So Cross has a crush on Kosaki, while Shu and Ruri are aware, and support it,' I thought, 'And Kosaki must at least _somewhat_ return those feelings… Or maybe just enough of it to stick things on his face.'

"**Never mind that**!" Kurama roared, "**You're **_**living**_** with that girl**!?"

I frowned in confusion, appearing in my mindscape for the conversation.

"...Yeah. I thought we'd established this?"

"**AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO TELL ME THIS, ****WHY**!?"

I was actually blown back by the sheer volume of the demon's enraged shouts, as I landed flat on my back, into the disgusting water of the sewer. Fortunately, it wasn't actual water, so my clothes weren't wet.

"I didn't think it'd be important to the _most powerful being in existence_," I grumbled, sitting up.

"**Hey, the 'most powerful being in existence' **_**just so happens**_** to reside within your stomach. And I'll be damned if the most powerful **_**Jinchuuriki**_** 'in existence' dies a virgin.**"

The comment left me sputtering, as the beast chuckled.

"-ey! Hey! Naruto!"

"What?"

I was pulled from my mindscape for the second time today, this time with a the back of her soft hand against my forehead.

I saw Tsugumi's brow knitted with concern, "Are you alright? You've been spacing out, and you're all flushed; do you have a fever?"

"Huh? Oh no, I'm fine! And look! Chitoge's walking in!"

The girl's timely appearance saved me from explaining the situation to my partner. We sat in silence as the blonde introduced herself to the class.

This is what I got from lip-reading and my enhanced hearing.

"Hi there! I'm Kirisaki Chitoge from the U.S.! My Mom's Japanese, and my dad's American, so I'm half-and-half! As you can see, I speak Japanese just fine! So don't be shy! I look forward to getting to know you!"

With a smile and a light giggle, the class erupted into cries of joy and happiness at the new transfer student.

"Well, go ahead and pick a seat," said their Sensei, "You can sit next to Ichijo-kun in the back."

She nodded, "Got it!"

Everything was going fine...

"Huh?"

"Hm?"

...Until she came face to face with her new neighbor.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

The new girl and… Riku? Reiki? (...Fuck it, I'll just call him Cross.) had noticed each other, and were currently engaged in a contest of who had the higher vocal range.

...Cross was winning.

"Y-You're-"

"You're the psychopath who nearly killed me!" he shouted.

Gasps and whispers echoed throughout the room at Cross' declaration.

"Huh!? Who're you calling a psychopath!?" she shouted, stepping up to him, hands on her hips.

"You nailed me with your knee in the courtyard, didn't you?!"

The whispers only grew louder in volume, as the duo's voices began to rise even further.

"I apologized, didn't I?" she said casually, trying to brush off the matter, "What's your problem!? It was just a bump, you hysterical drama queen!"

But the Yakuza heir wouldn't let that happen, "You call _**that**_ an apology!? And 'just a bump'!? I nearly lost consciousness!"

The girl scoffed, "Yeah? Well maybe you should get your blood pressure checked. Look, I said I was sorry, can't you let it go? Quit being a wuss!"

"Oh yeah!? You seem _really_ sorry, you… you…"

I could almost feel the fibers in the boy's body snap as he leaned forward and shouted.

"YOU DAMNED GORILLA!"

The girl didn't take too kindly to that, winding up for a punch.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A GORILLA?!"

The fist slammed into the boy's jaw, sending him _flying_. He spun through the air like a football before crashing into the desks.

"Ha!" said my partner, "Serves him right for insulting Ojou!"

I shrugged, "To be fair, Cross kinda' had a point. She does owe him a proper apology for that."

I felt the soft skin of Tsugumi's fist lightly pressing against my jaw, much like a golfer would do with his club to a ball, as if she were lining me up with some invisible target.

"Would you care to repeat that statement?"

I gave her a look, "You can't hurt me and you know it."

* * *

Bonyari High School

Class 1-C

April 28, 2014

8:33 A.M.

(Raku)

* * *

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a blond man fly out of the treeline, hit a building, and fall down into the street.

'Huh. That punch must've hit me harder than I thought...'

"Well," started Kyoko-sensei as I peeled myself off the floor, "Since you're already so well-acquainted…"

"Ichijou, I'm counting on you to help Kirisaki-san with whatever she may need!"

"...Huh?"

The newly-titled 'Gorilla' took the seat beside me, as Kyoko-sensei began her lesson.

"Listen!" the girl whispered harshly, "Don't you dare come near me, alright! Your girliness will rub off on me."

I gave her a look, "I don't know. Maybe you could pick up a thing or two, _**dude**_."

A simple, outstretched fist was enough to shut me up.

"I said nothing."

* * *

Bonyari High School

Trees

April 28, 2014

8:37 A.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

"Back so soon?"

I glared at the smirking assassin as I made my way up the tree, back to my earlier perch.

"Ha ha. Next time, put your weight into it, like Chitoge did. Sends 'em flying farther, and _straighter_."

She gave me an incredulous look, "Are you actually trying to get me to _improve_ the manner in which I punch you in the face? And if you know how to do that, do I even want to know how many times this has happened before?"

I shrugged, sitting on the branch and leaning against the trunk, "Let's just say that it's happened enough for me to know the proper technique. _Her_ record was 387 meters."

She sighed, "Well, I guess I'm not surprised that it's happened more than once or twice, given that mouth of yours."

I nodded in agreement, "Yeah. This mouth can do some _amazing_ things."

She turned to me, sputtering. Her face was slightly tinged pink, and her fist cocked back for another strike.

I leaned against the tree before continuing, "I can shout loud enough for an entire _nation_ to hear my words, I've converted over half my continent to ally themselves with my home country, and I can talk S-Ranked criminals out of destroying the world with impromptu therapy sessions. It's really quite amazing."

The girl's eyes widened before she flushed again, this time in embarrassment.

I smirked.

"I can also triple-knot a cherry stem with my tongue, if that's what you wanted to hear."

(*BLAM*)

The record was broken that day, as I was sent flying a good 450 meters down the street.

* * *

Bonyari High School

Class 1-C

April 28, 2014

8:42 A.M.

(Raku)

* * *

(*BLAM*)

I really hoped my eyes were deceiving me, as I watched the blond fly out of the tree for the _second_ time.

To my bewilderment, nobody else in class seemed to pay it any attention. And all the temporary distraction did was make my mind lose track of the teacher's lesson.

"And so to solve the equation, we must first substitute a value for the variable…"

Unable to concentrate on Sensei's lecture any longer, my thoughts drifted to the monster sitting beside me.

'Dammit, what the hell is this girl's problem? I've never met someone so vicious and _annoying_! Compared to Onodera or the Promised Girl, she's on the complete opposite end of the spectrum!'

I sighed dreamily, 'Aw, man… but wouldn't it be crazy if _Onodera_ turned out to be the girl with the key!? Sure, the odds are tremendously low, but their personalities match up so well! They could totally be the same person!'

'...I wonder what that girl's doing now...' I thought, grasping for my pendant.

…

…

…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

* * *

Bonyari High School

Trees

April 28, 2014

8:46 A.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

"Looks like Cross finally noticed his necklace was missing…" I muttered.

The girl looked back to me, as if she didn't just slug me across the face,"And when do you plan to return it to him?"

I shrugged, "Whenever Chitoge finally works up enough courage to apologize. It'll be perfect; alongside the pendant, he'll have no choice to accept both!"

"But… if Ojou returned the pendant, wouldn't that mean she'd been holding it this whole time? And wouldn't that just make him more mad?"

I shook my head.

"From what I've seen, Cross is pretty stubborn; even when it's bound to land him in trouble," I said, referring to when he confronted Chitoge and ended up with a rather nasty bruise, "He'll probably guilt Chitoge into helping him look for it, and when they don't find anything, she'll probably give up."

The girl narrowed her eyes, "Just what are you trying to say about the Mistress?"

"I'm not done," I assured her, "Anyway…"

"Once that happens, she'll throw a huge tantrum that'll likely end in a screaming match. But after that, she'll probably feel too guilty to let it go, and search for the thing on her own."

My partner nodded, continuing the train of thought, "I see… So all we need to do is make it easy for her to find, they make up, and the problem's solved!"

I nodded back, "That's the gist of it."

* * *

Bonyari High School

Class 1-C

April 28, 2014

1:35 P.M.

(Raku)

* * *

"Wha? Why the hell should help you!?"

"It was your fault I lost it in the first place!" I shouted, unknowingly proving someone's point, "No matter how hard I try, I can't remember where else I could've dropped it, and I can't find it myself!"

"What's wrong Ichijou-kun?"

"Oh! Onodera!"

As soon as the angel had introduced herself to the monkey-girl, I continued.

"Well… I lost something pretty important…"

"Really?" she asked, "Mind if I help?"

After a brief explanation, she'd agreed (with a strange reaction to the pendant's shape, might I add).

"Fine. I'll help you," muttered the blonde, "But you have to promise that once we find this thing, you'll never talk to me again, alright!"

"Huh!?"

"I can't stand guys like you. Always bitching about what's done and over with. I'd hate for anyone to think I was friends with such a prissy pushover!"

"Hey, Ichijou!"

Before I could retort, I was interrupted by our teacher calling out to me.

"I want you to teach Kirisaki all about this place. So that's why you two…"

"...will be the caretakers of the school pets for the next two weeks!"

"HUH!?"

* * *

Bonyari High School

April 29, 2014

3:56 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

(*FSSH*)

"AGH! What are you doing!?"

I watched idly, senbon in my mouth in a Genma-like fashion, as the duo continued their bickering whilst they "took care of the school farm".

"What's wrong now!?" Chitoge cried indignantly.

"You used too much water! You'll rot the roots like that!"

"Hey, they'll be fine! …Probably."

"The planter is _overflowing_!"

I sighed to myself.

"Those two seem to be getting along _swimmingly_," I muttered, words slightly distorted by the bit of metal between my teeth.

Seishirou quirked a thin eyebrow, "Pun intended?"

"Of course," I said, finally spitting out the chewed-up piece of metal. The thing flew, lodging itself in a nearby tree with a (*PING*).

My partner wrinkled her nose in disgust, "Why do you do that? It's gross."

I gave her an incredulous look, "Just last week you stabbed a man in the throat with a screwdriver."

The girl scoffed, "That 'man' was a druglord, and was in charge of one of the world's largest human-trafficking rings. Not like he didn't deserve it."

"Plus, that was business related. Any unpleasant habits you have off-duty are capable being called into question."

"Sure, whatever," I grunted, "But it helps keep me busy. I can't _stand_ sitting around doing nothing."

She gave a flat expression, "Pun intended?"

"...No. Happy accident."

I silently unsealed a can of honey-roasted peanuts, taking off the lid and popping a few in my mouth.

I tilted the container's opening to my partner, "Want some?"

She declined, shaking her head.

"Suit yourself. Hey look, they're leaving."

The two had parted ways, storming off in opposite directions.

I resealed the can, as I stood up.

"Guess we should get moving too then," I said, stretching out my back.

The girl nodded, as we leapt off the branch, ready to escort the girl back home.

* * *

Bonyari High School

School Yard

April 30, 2014

11:32 A.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

(*KNCH KNCH KNCH*)

Several sunflower seeds crunched within my mouth, as I carried out the mind-numbingly _boring_ task I'd been assigned.

Tsugumi and I were sitting in the branches of yet another tree. The tree which _just so happened_ to the one Cross and his buddy were sitting against, as they discussed Raku's relationship between him and the new transfer student.

"What do you mean, 'we look like a couple'?" I heard him say, "All we do is fight! And there's nothing good _about_ her, lest you count the monkeyness."

Unfortunately for him, as he said that, Tsugumi was cleaning the barrel of her gun. She twitched, and prepared to fire a round into the boy, but 'fortunately for him', I managed to stop her before she could.

"Look, Kirisaki-san is freakin' gorgeous man," Shuu said, as the blonde did some tricks on the pull-up bars, "There are a _ton_ of guys who'd wanna' be with her."

Maiko leaned further back against the wooden surface, "But a lot of 'em are wondering things. Like, why she even goes to this school. Or why she transferred at such a weird time. Stuff like that."

"Gorgeous? You mean _her_?"

My partner twitched again, but I took the pistol before she could start pumping lead into the poor kid.

"She's just a classmate that sits beside me," he said, "We just happen to be together a lot. And it's _clear_ that we don't get along!"

He stared at the girl, as she received a round of applause for her rather impressive display.

The teen audibly exhaled, "More like a monkey everyday."

(*KABAAM*)

His remark was interrupted by the flying dumbbell that'd just connected with his jaw.

I sighed to myself, 'Now you're just askin' for it, Cross.'

Tsugumi's expression was one of annoyance, "How could anyone possibly think that _weakling_ of a man could ever be right for Ojou!?"

I shrugged, "I dunno'. They say that hate and love are two sides of the same coin."

"Hah! There's no way that Ojou'd ever fall for a wimp like that!"

I raised an eyebrow, "Oh really?"

I turned to her, "Tsugumi, I'm willing to bet you a year's supply of ramen, that those two will start dating within the _month_."

She turned to me as well, "I don't bet, Uzumaki. Betting's for suckers."

I smiled, "Why not? You afraid to lose?"

She growled, "...Fine. But let's up the ante a bit."

My smile faltered a bit, "What did you have in mind?"

She smirked, reaching into her pocket, "You have to tell me the story behind _this_."

And she pulled out something I was hoping I'd never have to see again.

I gulped, upon seeing the ring, with its pinkish diamond glinting in the sun.

"You tried to throw it away a few months ago, right? But it doesn't seem like the type of thing to just _get rid of_."

I made a grab for it, but the girl slipped it back into her pocket, out of my reach.

She extended her hand, "So do we have a deal?"

I shook my head, "No way. That kind of thing's off the table."

She smirked again.

"Why not? Afraid to lose?" she said, repeating my words.

I gave her a half-hearted glare.

"...Fine. But let me raise the stakes as well…"

I whispered my condition into her ear, the action making her flush a bit, and the condition making her blush even harder.

I extended my hand, "Now, do we have a deal?"

With a (rather firm) handshake, the bet was on.

* * *

Bonyari High School

Fence

May 8, 2014

3:47 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

"Geez! There's no sign of it anywhere!"

"Shut your trap. And I thought you hated people who moan and complain?"

It was Chitoge's 6th day at Bonyari High. And since she arrived, all she'd done was spend time with Cross.

"Hmph," I grinned, "At this rate, I'm definitely gonna' win that bet."

My partner said nothing, only shaking her head in amusement at my confidence.

* * *

Bonyari High School

Fence

May 13, 2014

3:51 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

"AAAAAGH! I can't take it anymore!"

"Huh!?"

Tsugumi leaned forward in interest, "Well, would you look at that. That bet's mine, Whiskers."

I grunted, as I tried listening in on the conversation.

"How the hell does it look like we're a couple!? The only reason we're working together is because I'm being kind and helping an idiot search for something he dropped!"

"H-Hey!" was his indignant reply.

Meanwhile, Kosaki arrived on the scene, bearing witness to the tail end of their conversation (read: argument)

"Don't fuck with me! It's because of your negligence that you lost in the first place, stupid beansprout!"

"God, it's been a week already! Just give it up! Somebody probably picked it up, thought it was garbage, and threw it away!"

His expression changed, "You don't know that. And besides, that thing's really important to me!"

"Pfft! What's losing a necklace to a man? Are you the kind of guy who can't sleep without a night-light!?"

"It's probably something you got from a girl you liked a long time ago! Stop living in the past, you pansy!"

He was getting angry now, Onodera looking between the two in an attempt to diffuse the situation.

"I bet she's even forgotten that she'd given it to you! How lame! You're such a moron!"

That struck a nerve.

"SHUT THE HELL UP! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO LOOK FOR IT, THEN JUST LEAVE!"

Surprised by his outburst, the trio stood in silence, even as the rain started to pour.

He only stood there, fists clenched at his sides, eyes glued to the ground, as the blonde walked off.

…

…

The girl at my side nudged my shoulder.

"Looks like it's over, Whiskers. Pay up."

I grinned, staring down at the pendant in my hand.

"...Not yet."

* * *

Bonyari High School

Fence

May 14, 2014

5:23 P.M.

(Raku)

* * *

"Ichijou-kun!"

I turned back to see Onodera approaching, looking slightly winded.

"K-Kirisaki-san wants to see you…"

"Huh?"

* * *

"Man, what's her deal!? Asking me to come all the way out here…"

Onodera tugged at my sleeve, "Ichijou-kun, over there!"

"Wha-"

That was all I got out before something hurtled through the air and slammed into my face.

"GYAAAGH!"

"I-Ichijou-kun!? Are you okay?"

"Ngh," I grunted, as I sat up, "What the hell was...huh?"

Sitting at my side was…

"My pendant!"

"Oh! So, that's what that is?"

The girl smiled, "You know… After you exploded a few days ago…"

* * *

Bonyari High School

Trees

May 14, 2014

5:29 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

I leaned back, admiring the fruits of my work.

"See? Problem solved."

Tsugumi looked at me, "Whatever. Ojou's still not talking to him."

I shrugged, "So what? I have a feeling it's not over yet…"

* * *

Naruto and Tsugumi's Apartment

May 14, 2014

6:31 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

"Going somewhere?"

Tsugumi had walked into the kitchen, fully decked out in her battle gear: bullet proof vest, Kevlar pants, and a belt lined with grenades, smoke bombs, and at least 7 clips of ammo.

She nodded, "Claude's sending me on a remote op, on rather short notice, I might add. I should be back in a week or so."

"Wha? You're going on a mission without me?" I asked, pushing aside the bowl of ramen I'd been eating, "But what about teamwork and stuff?"

"Claude wants someone guarding the mistress at all times, now that she's in school. So you'll be going solo for the next few days."

"So I'm gonna' have to sit there and watch those two bicker all by myself? Joy."

She raised an eyebrow, "Would you rather have Claude join you?"

I blanched, "Oh, god no."

She smirked, "That's what I thought."

I put the empty bowl in the sink, "So, where you headed?"

"Korea," she said, pulling at the cuffs of her gloves, "One of Johnson's contacts bit off more than he could chew. He's being held in a torture chamber half a mile below Pyongyang."

"And you plan to infiltrate and retrieve him within a _week_?" I asked, turning to her, "That's a rather tall order, even for you."

She shrugged, "Maybe. But it's a mission. And that's not something I can refuse."

She opened the door and walked out. But before she closed it…

"Hey."

"Hm?"

Her face was one of sincerity, as she turned and said:

"Keep Chitoge safe, alright?"

I grinned, "Definitely. And you better not die out there."

She smiled back, "Don't plan on it."

* * *

Naruto and Tsugumi's Apartment

May 14, 2014

10:42 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

(*BRIIING…BRIIIIING…BRIIII-*)

I picked up the phone, silencing the shrill ringing that had disturbed my slumber.

"Hello?" I slurred.

"Naruto!" Claude's voice barked on the other end, "Are you awake?"

"Well, I am now," I muttered, "What's up?"

"Lady Chitoge's been captured!" he shouted angrily, "And those damned Yakuza bastards got her! We're en route to their base to get her back!"

I sat up, "I'll be there in five. Don't wait up."

I set the handheld down before throwing off my pajamas, sleeping cap and all, leaving me naked aside from my boxers. A quick hand sign had unsealed ANBU gear all over my body, appearing over my skin in a small puff of smoke.

I adjusted the mask, and the waistband of my pants (which felt weird for some reason). Not bothering to even turn off the lights, I leapt out the open window.

* * *

Shuei-gumi Base

Outside

May 14, 2014

11:03 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

"Claude!"

The man nodded as I approached, "Naruto, good to see you."

The younger Hatake, along with about 500 other men had gathered outside the Yakuza Base, and were in the middle of setting explosives all along the wall.

"I understand your concern for Chitoge, Claude," I said, looking over the men, "...But was it really necessary to bring _half the gang_ with you?"

He shook his head, "They all came voluntarily once they heard what the bastards had done."

Some of the men had starting snickering at me. Though, the fox mask was probably the cause of their laughter.

I frowned when I glanced at the explosives they were using.

"Hey guys, you shouldn't need more than 20 ounces of C4. You're using _way_ too much."

One of the men (Klein, was it?) turned to me, "Twenty _what_? Fuck the Japanese and their stupid metric system; how much in American?"

The guy next to him started muttering, "Well, let's see. Um...carry the seven, and…"

Klein grunted.

"Dude, fuck math. Just use all of it."

And with that, about 20 _pounds_ of C4 went off almost simultaneously, blowing down the wall, and probably scaring the shit out of some poor civilians.

Fortunately, the majority of the gang had the common sense to duck for cover at that. And that day, a new rule was put into effect.

_Never_. Put. Klein. In charge of the explosives.

"OJOUUU!"

The gang charged in, ready for anything.

"I've finally found you! Ojou!" Claude said, "Apparently it's true that these Shuei-gumi bastards kidnapped you!"

I looked at him incredulously, "Wait, you _didn't have confirmation_? What the hell, man!? For all we knew, we could've just started a war!"

He ignored me as he continued, "Never fear, Ojou. As an Executive of the BeeHive, it is my job to protect you!"

"Therefore, I, Claude, have come to retrieve you personally-"

"Naruto?" she called, ignoring the man, "What's going on? And what are you _wearing_?"

I lifted the mask, "Hey Chitoge. Heard that Cross' buddies had you kidnapped. Is that true?"

She frowned, "Cross?"

"The Yakuza kid."

Her expression turned sour, "Oh, _him_? No, this is all just a misundersta-"

(*PHMM*)

The doors slid open, revealing a couple of scar-faced men; clearly Yakuza.

"Well, well," he muttered, walking over, "If it isn't the BeeHive's top dog…"

He then looked at me and did a double-take.

"Who the hell are you, and what are you wearing?"

"What is it!?" I growled, getting irritated, "It's traditional ANBU combat gear!"

Chitoge gave me a look, "Are you sure? I might not know what 'traditional AMPU combat gear' looks like, but I think you're supposed to put on the pants _over_ your underwear."

"What?"

I looked down to see my orange, ramen bowl-patterned boxers _on top_ of my pants.

"...Well, fuck."

Both the Yakuza, _and_ the gangsters behind me started laughing.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY, DAMN YOU!" I shouted.

Cross frowned, and leaned over to Chitoge, "You know that guy?"

"He's...one of my bodyguards," she murmured, "He joined a few months ago, and he's already one of the top agents."

"Hah!" the Yakuza laughed, "If your strongest agent can't even put his pants on properly, then we've got this one in the bag! Get 'em boys!"

Swords were drawn and guns were loaded, as I fiddled with my pants, using Kawamiri to put them on right.

"Hey, listen buddy," said the leader of the Yakuza, "I think there's been some kind of misunderstanding."

"Wh-What the? Boss, what are you doing here?"

"Nobody kidnapped anybody, Claude," said Adelt, "Because…"

Chitoge and Raku were pushed together by their respective guardians who spoke in unison:

"These two are actually a head-over-heels, lovey-dovey couple!"

…

…

…

"NAAAAANIIIIIII!?"

While the others flipped out, I rubbed my hands together evilly.

'Oh, Tsugumi's in for a _real_ surprise when she gets back.'

* * *

**And, we're done!**

**Yeah, the plots may have connected in this one, but not much has really happened as of now. Things'll definitely pick up by the next chapter; that's when Naruto and Tsugumi will transfer into Bonyari High.**

**Also, something regarding Kawamiri will come up in the next chapter, so make a note of that.**

**Oh, one more thing. I've auditioned for the role of Shuu in Josh S.'s Nisekoi fandub. We still have positions open, so check it out on YouTube!**

**And if I didn't mention this already, I made an English version of 'Recover Decoration', Nisekoi's second Ending theme. Check it out on my YouTube channel!**

**Well, that's it! Hopefully, I'll see you all again next week!**

'**Til then!**

**- Objection234 (Akane Sasu Sora on YouTube)**


	4. Chapter 3: RIVALTsugumi wants to battle!

**Study groups, cooking classes, swimming pools, transfer students, and...a confession!? (*le gasps*)**

**Yeah, we're skipping all that.**

…

…

…

**..What? Tsugumi won't be there, and it happens exactly the way it does in the show/manga. It'd be boring and unnecessary to write.**

**Well, all that aside... Here I am with this fic's 4th consecutive update!**

**...**

**...**

**...**

**...Wow, I really should update my other stuff.**

**But until then, here's Chapter 3!**

* * *

Undisclosed Location

Abandoned Warehouse

May 20, 2014

11:59 P.M.

* * *

(*KTCK…KTCK…KTCK*)

A white-haired man in a pink suit stood amidst the rubble in silence, the only noise being the rather loud (*tick tick tick*) of his watch. He checked it again, as the clock struck twelve.

(*FMP*)

Two figures blurred to the ground before him, one of the figures in a kneeling position, the other comfortable with simply standing.

"You called for us, Claude-sama?" spoke the kneeling one.

"Ah, Seishirou-kun," he said, as the assassin stood up, "Right on time."

"It's no coincidence," grumbled the standing blond, "We stood on the roof for about 15 minutes, waiting for midnight to come around."

The man sweatdropped, before continuing.

"I appreciate that you were able to meet me on such short notice. I heard that your mission to North Korea was a success."

She nodded. She'd actually only been home about 2 minutes before Claude had called them out here.

"This," he held out the picture, "...is your next target."

She frowned, "Ichijou Raku? The heir to the Shuuei-gumi?"

The blond caught a glimpse of the image of the boy, "Cross? Why're we going after _him_?"

Of course, the reason was obvious. Claude despised the teen with a burning passion. Naruto was simply playing along.

"As you may have heard," he said, pushing up his glasses, "...our Young Mistress has begun dating this man?"

The girl visibly blanched, "W-What!?"

"Oh?" Naruto tilted his head innocently, "You haven't heard? The two are quite the couple!"

The woman growled, crushing the picture in frustration.

"But…"

She looked up, waiting for him to proceed.

"Their behavior has proven to be rather suspicious. I suspect that he may be taking advantage of her."

She gripped the crumpled paper even harder.

"The bastard! I won't forgive him for this!"

"Furthermore," Claude wasn't done, "He's a little weakling. A barn animal who isn't worth a wad of dung, a pathetic gutless hog-boy, a pig who's short and vulgar and scum and poor and it's like he was raised by monkeys and he's worse than a cesspool of excrement that has no balls…"

The man continued his rant for a good 10 minutes, before he was interrupted.

"-Look. We get it. You hate the guy," Naruto interjected, lest they be subjected to another twenty minutes of this, "What's your point?"

"Ah, my apologies," the man muttered, "I'm afraid I've gotten a little worked up over the Ojou dating that swine."

He turned to face them, "I cannot handle this situation alone. The time has come to put your skills to the test, my protege."

"I'm confident you can save our precious Mistress from the grasp of that despicable little scum-sucking…"

"Dude," the blond cut him off again, "What's your point?"

"You two have been registered as transfer students at Bonyari High," he said, "I was able to get the both of you into their class. The rest is up to you."

He pushed up his spectacles once again.

"Get to the bottom of this. I'm counting on you."

Seishirou, who'd stood in shock and silence throughout the meeting, merely nodded.

"Consider it done," she muttered, as she walked off.

Her partner lingered for a few moments, before speaking up.

"That watch of yours is rather beaten up," he said, "And it makes a ton of noise. Why're you still holding onto it?"

I was true. The ticking of the watch's second hand was rather audible; it echoed throughout the warehouse. It was quite old too, and the noise it made would be dangerous to take on a mission.

The man gave a small smile.

"Simple. It was a gift from _her_."

The blond stood in silence before nodding, heading off in the direction his partner went.

* * *

Bonyari High

Class 1-C

May 21, 2014

8:24 A.M.

* * *

"Huh? Transfer students!?"

Shu sat atop the desk in front of Chitoge and Raku, who'd just spoken.

"Seems like it. I heard it was super sudden too," grumbled the dirty blond (no pun intended), "The student council wasn't even informed 'till this morning. That's why they didn't announce it."

He looked over to his fellow blonde, "Just like you were, Kirisaki-san."

The girl blinked, as he continued.

"Anyway, I heard they're _guys_," he griped, "One of 'em is supposed to be a complete _bishonen_ pretty boy, and the other's supposed to be a 'total hunk'. What a snorefest!"

"Man, you're easy to read…" Raku mumbled.

"Well, I look forward to meeting them!" said Chitoge happily.

"I don't. All I have are bad memories when it comes to transfer students."

A fist was held to his cheek, "What'd you just say?"

"...Nothing. Not a damn thing."

Shu narrowed his eyes at their behavior, but took his seat as class began to start.

"Alright class!" called Kyoko, "We have new students! Come on in you two."

And in walked the BeeHive duo.

Tsugumi wore her usual blazer, dress shirt, tie, and slacks. And _as usual_, said clothing was loaded with all kinds of deadly weapons.

Naruto wore the signature male uniform of Bonyari, but with a few adjustments. His jacket was much longer, sleeves rolled up, and had what almost appeared to be coattails. It hung around him like his old sage cloak. A simple rope was strung through the belt-holes of his pants, and was tied in a knot at the center. The upper part of his dress shirt was open three buttons, exposing a bit of his chiseled torso. He also had a cloth headband with an orange Uzu swirl on it, keeping the hair out of his eyes and replacing his Konoha hitai-ate.

"Hajimemashite. I'm Seishirou Tsugumi. Pleased to meet you all."

"Hey there! The name's Uzumaki Naruto! Nice to meetcha' dattebayo!"

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

There were plenty of cheers from rabid fangirls at the two's introduction.

"OMG! He's so cute!"

"Is he a model?"

"His face is so perfect!"

"The one on the left's such a cutie!"

The squealing stopped at that.

"What're you talking about Keiko? The one on the right's so much hotter!"

Another spoke up, "No way! The Tsugumi-kun is _way_ cuter!"

Then another, "Are you kidding!? Naruto-kun is _so much_ better looking than that bishonen!"

The female half of the class erupted into argument, over which of the two was more attractive. All the boys sweatdropped, Tsugumi's brow twitched, and Naruto patted her on the shoulder in consolation.

Shu's eyes narrowed at the shorter of the two, as the duo took their seats, side-by-side in the back, behind Chitoge and Raku.

The Yakuza heir leaned over to his neighbor and whispered.

"Hey! Is this _that_ Naruto? The one who couldn't put his pants on?"

"That's the one!" she hissed back, "And that's his partner, Tsugumi!"

"They're from the BeeHive right? What the hell are they doing here!?"

"Claude probably put them up to it! Just be cool until we find out what they're up to!"

* * *

Bonyari High

Class 1-C

May 21, 2014

8:32 A.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

"Ojou!"

My partner's face brightened as she rushed over and pulled her friend into a tight hug.

"It's been so long, Ojou!"

"Wha? What are you talking about?" the blonde tried to push her off, "It hasn't even been a week!"

The entire class burst into yelling again.

"Whoa~!? What the heck!?"

"The new student hugged Kirisaki-san!"

The girl finally managed to dislodge Tsugumi from her body.

"St-Stupid! What're you doing? Everyone's staring!"

"Ojou! I missed you so much!"

The girls' shouts changed in nature:

"What's going on?!"

"Looks like Ichijou's got some competition!"

"Is it Showdown Time!?"

And so did the guys':

"Dude, Ichijou doesn't stand a chance!"

"Yep. At least, as far as looks go."

"No contest there."

"Sh-Shut up!" he cried indignantly.

I sighed at the display, before walking up to the girl, offering out a fist.

"Nice to see ya' again, Chitoge."

She gladly bumped it with her own.

"You too, Naruto!"

* * *

Bonyari High

Class 1-C

May 21, 2014

10:30 A.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

(*BRIIIIIING*)

Class was dismissed for break at the bell, and Chitoge finally got to confront us.

"What are you both doing here? Did Claude send you?"

"Yeah, they were his orders," I said simply, "He wants us to stay with you and observe everything."

"...That's fine, but why're you dressed like that, Tsugumi?"

"Oh, this? I couldn't find the school's uniform anywhere, so I had to make do."

I let the girls chat, catching up on the past week, as I made my way over to Cross and Shu.

"Hey man," started the four-eyes, "Why's Seishirou-san dressed like that?"

"Huh? He just said he couldn't find the uniform anywhere…" said Cross, confused.

Shu frowned, "No, I meant-"

I cut him off, "You have a good eye there bro. Not many can tell at first glance."

He gave a small grin, "Well, I guess I'm not 'most people'."

He extended a hand, "I'm Shuu Maiko. And my friend here is Raku Ichijou."

I shook it, "Oh, I knew that. I blew his wall down just last week."

Shu gave his buddy a semi-surprised look, the other teen shaking his head.

"Don't ask…" he muttered.

"So, Mistress!" I heard Tsugumi say, "I was told that you have a boyfriend now!"

"H-Huh? Oh yeah! Right! Let me introduce you!"

"Agh!"

As soon as he was in range, the girl roughly yanked him to her side. I sweatdropped from my seat, Shu chuckling on my left.

"Tsugumi! This is Ichijou Raku! My...boyfriend."

That last part was said with a bit of disdain.

"Ah! I've heard so much about you!"

I leaned back and watched as the girl proceeded to brownnose the couple, before going reintroducing herself to the Yakuza heir, explaining exactly who she was.

"Huh? A childhood friend? Of gorilla here?"

"!"

"Hm? Gorilla?"

"I-It's nothing!" Chitoge cried, as she got Cross in a headlock, "Just a little inside joke."

I leaned over to Shu, "Hey, do you have any idea what's going on with those two? It's like one second they're all lovey-dovey, and the next they're at each other's throats."

He smiled lightly, shaking his head, "Your guess is as good as mine."

* * *

Bonyari High

Class 1-C

May 21, 2014

12:32 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

"Geez! I can feed myself, okay!?"

Cross and I merely stared as Tsugumi spoon-fed her Mistress. I know her constant fawning over Chitoge wasn't exactly old news, but in the 6 months since I'd met them, I still hadn't gotten used to it.

"Hey hey!" the girls whispered among themselves, "Don't you think those two would totally be good together?"

"I _know_ right? They're so perfect!"

"I wonder if Kirisaki-san is some kind of princess?"

Shu made his way over with his lunch, putting a hand on Cross' shoulder.

"Hey, you okay Raku? Your rival seems like a formidable opponent indeed!"

"Shut up, dammit."

Watching as the assassin pulled a full tea set out of freaking nowhere, Cross irritably slurped his own tea (which came in the rather _fancy_ form of a juice box from the school vending-machine).

"Ichijou-kun! Uzumaki-san!"

I turned my head to see Cross' other friends (Onodera and Miyamoto, I believe), standing behind us, holding their bento.

"Can we have lunch with you?"

Cross' face visibly brightened at the prospect of having lunch with his crush, and his ears turned slightly red at her close proximity.

"Sure, the more the merrier," I said, pulling five desks together.

Shu and I sat on either side of Cross, while Kosaki sat opposite him, with Ruri opposite me. Something Shu wasn't as happy about.

"Aw, Ruri-chan? What's wrong with sitting with me?"

She glared, "Too many to reasons to list, Maiko-kun."

I sweatdropped at the exchange, while the two girls opened their lunches.

"So, Uzumaki-san!" started Kosaki, "Why did you and Tsugumi-san transfer in the middle of the semester?"

"Business reasons," I said simply, "And call me Naruto. 'Uzumaki-san' makes me feel old."

"Really? Okay, call me Kosaki then!"

"You can call me Ruri then," said Miyamoto.

I nodded, smiling, "So, Kosaki and Ruri then? Nice to meet you!"

I glanced left at Cross, who was gaping at the fact that in two minutes, I'd done what he hadn't been able to in two _years_.

I smirked, leaving the teen looking rather depressed, as he sipped on his tea.

"So how do you and Tsugumi-san know Kirisaki-san?" asked Ruri.

I made a note of her use of honorifics. It seemed this girl was as clever as she looked.

"As you probably heard, the two of them are childhood friends," I said, pausing to drink the broth of my cup ramen, "Tsugumi and I are living together; we share an apartment uptown."

…

…

…

"EEEEEEHHHH!?"

The entire class (who'd probably been eavesdropping on the conversation, given their reaction) had exploded in shock. Kosaki had dropped the food in her chopsticks, and Cross did a spit-take, right into his friend's face.

"What? What's so wrong with that?" I asked, passing Shu a hand-towel I'd unsealed, which he gladly took.

"N-Nothing! It's just…wow!"

I stared blankly, wondering exactly what it was I said.

"**You said that you and the girl were 'living together',**" muttered Kurama, "**They don't know she's a girl remember**?"

'..Ohhh...'

'...Well, shit.'

"S-So you two l-live together then?" continued Onodera, "That's...nice…"

I saw the newly-dried Shu snickering, and even Ruri was stifling a smile.

'So he knows about it too, hm?' I took the towel back, sealing it away discreetly, 'Man, all the four-eyes here are super perceptive.'

After I cleared up the little misunderstanding (bringing an end to every fangirl's fantasy), Chitoge had walked off to use the bathroom, and Tsugumi approached.

"Ichijou-san…" she started, "Can I talk to you? _Alone_?"

The boy nodded, following her as they walked out of the room.

…

…

…

"So who wants to go eavesdrop?" I offered.

Shu stood up, pushing in his chair, "I like the way you think."

The girls looked at each other and shrugged, choosing to follow.

* * *

Bonyari High

Rooftop

May 21, 2014

12:43 P.M.

(Raku)

* * *

"Why'd we have to come up here just to talk?" I asked the boy.

He didn't respond, only asking his own question.

"Do you truly love the Mistress?"

"Wha? What are you-"

…

…

…

"I mean, _of course_ I do!"

'Shit, that was close… Almost denied it...'

The BeeHive agent proceeded to bombard me with questions; at this point, my responses were pretty much automatic.

"How much do you love her?"

"A ton! I'm totally head-over-heels for her!"

"Really?"

"Of course!"

"Would you be willing to die for her?"

"Yeah! Definitely! Without a second thought!"

"Oh really? Thank you! You've really put my mind at ease! Now then…"

A revolver emerged from his blazer sleeve.

"...Please die."

"...Huh?"

The hitman disappeared in a blur, leaving behind a trail of smoke.

"Whaa-AGH!?"

He was suddenly upon me, hand pulling my right wrist downward, and the barrel of his gun pressed against the underside of my jaw.

* * *

Bonyari High

Stairwell

May 21, 2014

12:45 P.M.

(Shu)

* * *

That was what we saw through the window when we arrived. The new girl with a gun to the head of my best friend.

"Raku!"

"I-Ichijou-kun!"

I tried to reach for the door, but I was stopped by an extended arm from Naruto.

"What are you doing? We have to help him!" cried Onodera.

"Relax," he said, "Tsugumi isn't going to actually hurt him. It's just a scare tactic to get the truth out of him."

He lowered his arms, "Plus it isn't even a real gun. It's like one that you get in prank stores, where a flag that says "BANG!" pops out of the barrel."

I did calm down at that, but Onodera still looked rather worried. When he noticed, he continued.

"C'mon, there's nothing to worry about. Besides, he's gotten out of worse situations before, right?"

I nodded in agreement, before the blond stiffened.

"Someone's coming! Everyone hide!"

"Hide where?" asked Miyamoto sarcastically, "It's a narrow hallway; there's nowhere to go!"

He shook his head, pulling from his sleeves what appeared to be two large, black tarps.

"Just hold it up in front of you," he said, demonstrating, "In this kind of lighting, it'll probably manage."

He leaned against the wall, pulling Kosaki with him. He handed me the other tarp, with upon touching it, I discovered was actually fine cloth.

I followed suit, taking Ruri with our backs to the wall, as I held it up.

"There's no way this is actually going to work…" she muttered.

"Shh! They're coming!"

I was able to catch a glimpse of strawberry blonde hair that trailed behind the person as they climbed the stairs. Chitoge opened the door, just wide enough to hear:

"She's my girlfriend, you jerk! And I won't let anyone take her away!"

* * *

Bonyari High

Rooftop

May 21, 2014

12:47 P.M.

(Raku)

* * *

'Oh man… I can't believe I just said that...' I thought to myself, 'Calling her my girlfriend outright like that...man it's embarrassing.'

"...I see."

The boy before me started radiating this dark, murderous aura that dropped on me like an anvil. The temperature seemed to drop several degrees and he glared at me with those demonic eyes.

"Your girlfriend...Is that so? You think you're more suited to stand at her side? Interesting…"

"Meep!"

...It wasn't exactly the manliest sound I'd ever made, but with the current circumstances, who could blame me?

"Wait! Both of you! Hold it right there!"

I almost fainted in relief. Chitoge! She'd be able to talk some sense into this guy, right?

"Tsugumi...Darling...What's this all about? Can't we all get along?"

The BeeHive agent extended an arm before his Mistress, as if he were shielding her from me.

"Ojou...Please don't interfere."

"I'm sorry...But I can not permit you to be with this man."

"W-Wha?"

"Don't you remember...the promise we made ten years ago?"

That got me interested. A promise ten years ago? Just like me and...what's-her-name.

"That day...I made a pledge to get stronger...strong enough to protect you," he said, clenching his fist, "And since then I've trained relentlessly! Austerity and rigor! Day in and day out! The blood, sweat and tears I have shed...they have made me strong!"

We both sweatdropped at the rather lame training-montage that was put before us.

"And now you're telling me...that the man who is to be my Mistress' protector is this pitiful weakling of a bean sprout?! I won't have it!"

'Ouch.'

"Ojou is the heiress to the BeeHive! One of the strongest gangster syndicates in the world! If you really believe you can protect her...then you'll have to really impress me with your so-called strength!"

"Raku Ichijou! I challenge you to a duel! The winner will be the Mistress' protector!"

…

…

…

"You mean, with cards and stuff?" I asked hopefully.

In retrospect, I remember hearing four simultaneous facepalms coming from the stairwell.

"If you're tough enough to beat me...I'll recognize you as worthy. But if I win…"

He gave me a thumbs-down, "You'll die a slow, painful death!"

He walked off, "This afternoon, in the courtyard. And if you don't show…"

"...I'll hunt you down and kill you."

He shut the door behind him with a loud *SLAM*.

…

...

"...He didn't answer my question."

(*WHAP*)

"Ack! Hey!"

Kirisaki withdrew her hand from where she'd slapped me upside the head.

"You moron! What'd you have to go and do that for!? Tsugumi's gonna' kill you now!"

"Wha? So you knew that guy was crazy!?"

She nodded, "Tsugumi was an orphan Claude took in as a child. Under his supervision, Tsugumi underwent a regiment of specialized training to become a top-notch assassin."

"A-Assassin!?"

"Also, a couple years back, a group of grunts from a rival gang were bothering me. Tsugumi wiped them and their entire base off the face of the Earth in under two hours."

"Th-The whole gang!?"

"Yeah. And it was a particularly vicious one that we'd been having trouble with for a long time."

"What!? Nobody told me that!? And I'm supposed to be fighting this guy!?"

"You dug your own grave on this one, stupid beansprout! You're the one who got him all pissed!"

"Huh!? I didn't do anything! And isn't he on your side? Can't you explain our situation and get him to understand?"

"Not a chance. Once Tsugumi gets worked up, there's no use in even trying."

"Well what are we gonna' do!? If I lose, the whole city's doomed!"

"Don't look at me! You made your bed. Sleep in it! Baka!"

* * *

Bonyari High

Stairwell

May 21, 2014

12:53 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

"Ohh, what are we gonna' do? We can't let the two fight! One of them might get hurt!"

"...That's kinda' what fighting is, Kosaki," I deadpanned.

Shu put a hand on her shoulder, "Well in this circumstance, there's only one thing to do!"

"...Set up a betting pool?"

He chuckled, "It's like you know me already."

* * *

Bonyari High

Courtyard

May 21, 2014

5:43 P.M.

(Raku)

* * *

"Hmph. Least you had the nerve to show up."

"Well...I wouldn't wanna' wuss out in front of Honey, now would I? But you mind if I ask you something?"

"...What's with the peanut gallery?"

It was true. It seemed like half the school had decided to show up. As to which half it was?

"KYAAAA! TSUGUMI-KUUUN!"

...You get one guess.

"Step right up ladies and...ladies! Place your bets! One lunch ticket per bet!"

"Three tickets on Tsugumi-kun!"

"I bet ten tickets!"

"Fifty tickets on Ichijou!"

The entire crowd went silent at the declaration, as the blond who'd spoken shrugged his shoulders.

"What?" he shrugged, "Someone's gotta' root for the underdog."

Tsugumi's eye twitched. Apparently his own roommate was betting against him, and he wasn't too happy about it.

He procured a coin from his breast pocket. I recognized it as an American quarter.

"When this coin hits the ground...the duel begins. Have you said your prayers?"

With a (*PING*) the coin was airborne. I placed my right fist against my left palm, cracking my knuckles.

'Well, here goes nothing. I've never been in a fist fight before, but-"

(*K-TINK*)

'I'm gonna' give it my best sho-'

(*KA-BLAM*)

I felt a rush of air as a bullet streaked right past my cheek.

"HOLY SHIIIIIT!" I cried, running for dear life.

"Get back here!" he shouted, chasing after me.

* * *

Bonyari High

Courtyard

May 21, 2014

5:45 P.M.

(Chitoge)

* * *

"Is that thing real!?" I heard one student ask.

"As if!" another laughed.

'That moron...He expected a fist-fight?'

I turned and faced the wind; the direction that they'd gone.

'Good luck...Aho-Moyashi...'

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I turned. My other bodyguard was standing there, staring at the trail of destruction his partner had left.

"Don't worry," he said, "I'll make sure your boyfriend stays safe."

He then vanished in a flash of orange light.

* * *

Bonyari High

Lockers

May 21, 2014

5:46 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

"Get back here! Fight like a man, damn you!"

"AAAAAAAGH!"

I sweatdropped, as Cross barely managed to dodge the hail of bullets that flew by.

"Dammit Cross," I muttered.

As soon as Tsugumi passed, I pulled the Hiraishin seal I'd planted off the wall, and followed.

The two were in the hallway now, Cross _barely_ ducking a rocket that sailed over his head, the fiery trail singeing the edges of his hair. He swatted at it, reducing the flames to cinders and smoke.

"You coward of a man! There's no fucking way that _you_ can protect Ojou!" she shouted angrily.

"I was right all along! It's me or nobody!"

He dodged another flurry of bullets, as they rounded another corner, ascending a flight of stairs.

"Ack! What's with all this 'protection' shit anyway?!" he called over his shoulder, "You really don't know her at all, do you?!"

"What the hell'd you just say!?"

"She isn't some fragile, defenseless waif in need of protection!"

"You're the one who isn't being a man!" he roared, "If you're a man, control yourself and give her some space!"

He leapt off the stairwell into the hallway, pushing a stack of desks over and into the hall, attempting to slow down his opponent.

Of course, he didn't know Tsugumi very well.

The woman barreled through the makeshift barricade like a comet, making a mad dash for the teen, intent on ending his life.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING UNMANLY!? I'LL KILL YOU!"

"_That's_ what sets you off!?"

I sweatdropped again. This time in the opposite direction, considering I was on the ceiling and all.

"How dare you! I'm hating you more and more every second!"

I saw Cross glancing out the window as he ran, seeming to look for something. My eyes widened as I realized his plan.

'Clever bastard… At this height, it just might work...'

Finding what he'd been looking for, he threw open the first window he could, leaping out of it with the little momentum he had.

"Hey!" she shouted, jumping after him, "Where do you think you're-"

"-going…"

She stopped upon realizing what was below them.

Cross smirked.

"Time to cool off!"

I facepalmed at the crappy one-liner, as they both hit the water with a tremendous (*K-PLSH*).

* * *

Bonyari High

Courtyard

May 21, 2014

5:49 P.M.

(Shu)

* * *

"Holy Crap!"

I looked up from counting the tickets to see the two jump out a window on the _third floor_.

The worry I felt was replaced with relief as I heard the huge (*SPLASH*).

'Ah, Raku… way to think outside the box.'

"Are they okay?!"

"C'mon! Let's go see!"

* * *

Bonyari High

Pool

May 21, 2014

5:50 P.M.

(Raku)

* * *

(*SPLOOSH*)

"PWAAH!"

I spit the chlorinated liquid from my mouth, as I began treading water to stay afloat. Tsugumi was next to me, knocked out.

'Huh. I guess I won then.'

I grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and used the advanced-backstroke to reach the ladder, where I was able to pull us both out of the water.

'Okay...now what? If I wake him up, we'll be back where we started.'

(*KAPP...KAPP...KAPP*)

I turned to see Naruto, slowly clapping as he approached.

"Congratulations, Cross," he said, "Looks like you won the day."

My brow twitched, "I have a name you know."

He gave me a flat look, "Your name is stupid. You entire story revolves around your pendant with a keyhole, and your name is 'Lock'."

…

…

"...Huh. I never noticed that before."

He pointed to his head, "You got that cross-shaped hairpin though. Hence, 'Cross'."

I nodded in begrudging understanding. He hefted his partner over his shoulder, unfazed by the water that began to seep through his clothes.

"And since you fought so '_valiantly_'," he started, "I'll let you in on a little secret."

"Huh?"

The blond smirked, "Tsugumi's a girl."

And he disappeared in an orange light.

…

…

…

"WHAT!?"

* * *

Bonyari High

Pool

May 21, 2014

5:52 P.M.

(Chitoge)

* * *

"I-Ichijou-kun!?"

"Darling! Are you alright!?"

The group approached the boy, who was looking flustered, and downright _mortified_.

"Wh-Where's Tsugumi?"

He looked to me, "Kirisaki! Naruto came by and picked him up. He was totally out of it!"

The crowd erupted into shock.

"Eeeh!? Tsugumi-kun lost!?"

"That's impossible!"

"Oh no! I bet ten tickets on him…"

I shook my head, "So Naruto took Tsugumi then?"

"Yeah! He said the weirdest thing too..."

"Huh? What was it?"

By this point, the crowd had settled down, and they tried to listen to what he was saying.

"He said Tsugumi was a girl. Crazy right?"

I raised an eyebrow, "Why's that weird? Tsugumi _is_ a girl."

…

…

…

"EEEEEHHHH?!"

* * *

Bonyari High

Trees

May 21, 2014

7:03 P.M.

(Tsugumi)

* * *

"N-Ngh…"

My eyes fluttered open, squinting as they adjusted to the light. I rubbed my eyelids but paused as I realized my hand was wet.

I sat up in surprise as it all came rushing back. The fight, the beansprout calling me unmanly, and then... falling into the pool.

'Crap...Does this mean I lost?'

I adjusted my back, feeling the rough bark of the tree I was leaning against. I still had my soaked shirt on, and it squelched every time I moved. Over that, I recognized a familiar jacket draped over my torso like a blanket.

I looked up at my partner, not paying me any attention as he simply stared at the setting sun, a small smile on his face. His blue eyes were full of happine-no... _Satisfaction_. That was the word.

The wind started to pick up. The 'tails' of Naruto's headband began to sway lightly in the breeze, and leaves began to swirl in the air. But with my damp clothes, the light gust felt like a blizzard, the warmth of Naruto's jacket the only thing shielding me from the cold.

Regardless, I hugged my knees to my chest as I shivered. I wrapped the black coat around my body and over my head, sheltering my wet, midnight locks from the frigid air. I took a deep breath as several scents wafted over me.

Most were expected, like the sharp stinging odor of newly-cut grass, or the metallic tang of the rusting fence. But one stood out above the others.

It was a mix of a lot of things. Like fresh, tree leaves, the city streets after a light rain, the ocean after a storm... It was homey...comforting...and nice.

Then I realized where it was coming from.

'...So this is...'

'...Naruto's scent...'

"Um, are you okay?"

I looked up at my partner, to see him smiling down at me.

"Or do you want to sniff my jacket for a bit longer?"

I growled, reaching for the gun at my hip, only to find it wasn't there.

He laughed, "Sorry about that. But most of your arsenal got damaged by the water, and by the time I got you outta' there, it was already too late."

I nodded, standing up and wrapping the jacket around my shoulders. I buttoned the topmost one but didn't put my arms through the sleeves, leaving the rest to fall around my body like a cape.

"So are you alright? You're not hurt are you?"

I shook my head, "No, I'm fine. Thanks for lending me your jacket.

"Oh yeah, no prob," he said, jumping down, "It's the least I could do."

He jerked his thumb over his shoulder at the tree, "I left your clothes up there a while ago. They should be dry by now."

"O-Oh... thank you."

I took the pants off the branch and slid them on. They still reeked of chlorine; I made a note to wash them when we got home.

I then pulled down the blazer, which was still slightly damp. Like he'd said, the weapons were completely ruined; I'd have to restock as soon as possible.

(*Achoo!*)

I had sneezed into my elbow, "Well, it looks like I'm sick now…"

"Well, you _did_ fall into a pool two hours ago."

He looked up at the sky, "He's one clever kid."

I remembered something, "Hey, you bet _against_ me, right? What the hell was that about?"

He chuckled, "It was like I said then. _Somebody_ has to root for the underdog. Who knows? They might surprise you."

He looked back at me, "And he certainly did. He technically won that duel."

I glared, "He _so_ did not! That wasn't a real showdown! The whole point was to prove he could protect the Mistress! Which he didn't!"

"He proved that he could outrun you," he listed, "He knows how to think on his feet. And he was able to piss you off to the point where you would even _consider_ jumping out of a three-story building onto concrete."

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

He gripped me by the shoulders, "God, what were you thinking? What if there hadn't been a pool there?! You still would've jumped after him, right!? And where would you be now?!"

"Hey! I wasn't thinking straight, alright! I'm sorry! I know I messed up, so don't yell at me!"

…

…

His expression softened, "Okay...yeah. Sorry for freaking out."

"It's just…"

"...I don't wanna' lose you."

I looked up in surprise, as he averted his gaze and flushed.

"Because...we're great partners and all…" he scratched his cheek with his index finger, "...and I'd hate to have to work with some random guy just 'cause you made some silly mistake, and-"

He stopped upon hearing me laugh.

I smiled, "Relax, Whiskers."

"I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

BeeHive HQ

Common

May 22, 2014

8:15 A.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

I walked into the common, ready for school, scanning the room for my partner.

We'd slept at the BeeHive HQ last night, since our apartment was a little far, and Tsugumi was rather tired. But when I'd woken up, she wasn't there.

"Hey Johnson!" I approached the man, who was idly shuffling his cards in the corner, "You seen Seishirou?"

It'd been agreed that we call Tsugumi by her first name until her true gender was common knowledge among the gang. She'd thought it was a good idea, so we went with it.

"I saw _him_ heading out to school with Chitoge-sama," he grinned, "They left out back, a little while ago."

"Out back?" I muttered, "That's weird."

He chuckled, going back to his cards.

"...Hey, what's up? You got that look on your face."

"Hm?" he glanced up at me, "What look?"

"The look that says 'I know something you don't'. Now spill it."

"Maa, maa, Naruto-kun. I figured you'd be used to that look by now."

I gave a dry laugh, "Ha ha. But seriously, what is it?"

He grinned again, "You'll find out when you get to school. Now run along."

I gave the man a half-hearted glare over my shoulder as I walked off, to which he chuckled again. I guess I shouldn't be angry with the guy; when he withholds information, it's usually for your own good, or your best interest.

Or sometimes, he just liked to fuck with you.

* * *

Bonyari High

Class 1-C

May 22, 2014

8:24 A.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

I arrived at the school unsure what to expect. But as soon as I entered our hallway, I saw all the people piled around the door and _knew_ something was up.

"Hey guys!" I approached one of the guys from my class (Yamada, I think his name was), "What's going on?"

He looked over at me, "Well, you know your roommate's a girl, right?"

"_Noooo_…" I deadpanned, "I had no idea."

He sweatdropped, "Well, Kirisaki-san got her to dress the part…"

I raised an eyebrow as I forced my way through the crowd, finally making it through to the classroom.

"N-Naruto!"

"Ts-Tsugumi!?"

The girl certainly _was_ dressing the part. She wore the standard girl's uniform for Bonyari High, complete with the sailor uniform-like top, orange clipped tie, and blue miniskirt. She also wore a light-blue ribbon in her hair, in the same spot Cross put his.

I grinned, "That ribbon looks great on you. It's pretty cute!"

Cross passed by in the hallway, carrying a stack of books, "I agree. It really suits you."

Our comments were met with gunfire, which we both barely dodged.

* * *

**Well, that's a wrap for this chapter! This one was about 1k words shorter and covered only 2 chapters, but the next one will cover chapters 18-20!**

'**Til then!**

**-Objection234 (Akane Sasu Sora on YouTube)**


	5. Chapter 4: Secrets and Soup

**Hey guys! You read the recent Nisekoi chapter?  
**

**If you haven't, Tsugumi dresses as a Kunoichi! I look forward to writing that in when it comes around!**

**So I've actually decided to proceed in the order the Manga intended. So it's Chapter 18, then 19, then 20, rather than my previous plan of 18, 20, then 19.**

**Also, this chapter will only cover 18 and 19. Twenty will be next chapter.**

**And since I never mentioned it, here are the official pairings:**

_(__Eventually Reciprocated__):_

_NarutoXTsugumi_

_ShuXRuri_

_(__One Sided/Other__):_

_RakuXChitoge_

_RakuXKosaki_

_RakuXMarika_

_RakuXHaru_

_RakuXYui_

_(__Grown Out Of__):_

_ShuXKyoko_

_NarutoXHaru_

**And here are my personal leitmotif for these pairings (as of now, incomplete and subject to change).**

_NarutoXTsugumi: Geronimo (Sheppard)_

_RakuXChitoge: Disgusting (Ke$ha)_

_RakuXKosaki: Sooner (Andrew Allen)_

_RakuXMarika: A Thousand Miles (Boyce Avenue)_

_RakuXHaru: Guessing (Against the Current)_

_ShuXKyoko: Love Lost (The Temper Trap)_

**I don't have much else to say. So here's chapter 4!**

* * *

Japan

Bonyari High

Class 1-C

May 21, 2014

10:32 A.M.

(Raku)

* * *

It was my second day...with the transfer students Tsugumi Seishirou...and Uzumaki Naruto.

"Let me introduce myself again," she bowed, "My name is Seishirou Tsugumi. It might be a boy's name… but I'm actually a girl."

At the moment, she had changed back to her earlier clothes, and was reintroducing herself to Onodera and Miyamoto. Kirisaki stood behind her at my right, and her partner sitting on the desk to my left.

"I understand that the two of you are friends of my mistress," she continued, "Please excuse my rudeness for not properly introducing myself earlier."

"Oh, it's no problem!" said Onodera with a smile.

Miyamoto seemed to catch the "Mistress" part, but filed it away for later.

"What a surprise! I thought you were a boy!"

"Really?" asked Miyamoto in that dry tone of hers, "I knew all along."

"You did!?"

(*FWUMP*)

The door flew open upon Shuu's arrival.

"Ohayou, Kirsaki-san!" he shouted, "You're looking stunning as ever!"

(*KCHNK*)

A gun was brandished, the barrel smashing into Shuu's cheek.

"How dare you!" Tsugumi growled, "Watch how you address the Mistress, impudent cur!"

"H-Hey! Chill out Tsugumi!" Kirisaki walked over, "He's a friend! ...Kind of."

Meanwhile, the boys were discussing something amongst themselves.

"Hmm, so Tsugumi's a girl then? She's kinda' cute!"

One of the other guys nodded, "Yeah. I guess the girls will finally calm dow-"

"KYAAAH!"

"Tsugumi-san! Why do you dress like a boy?"

"Tsugumi-san! You should hang out with us!"

Naruto sighed, as his partner was bombarded with questions.

I nudged him, "What? Are you jealous?"

He chuckled, "Hmph. Not a chance. Better her than me."

After that… Tsugumi pretty much settled in. And things pretty much went back to normal.

(*GASHIIIN*)

Although… she'd level a glare with me once in a while.

It's clear she still doesn't trust me. Not to mention, I've had to keep my distance for a while… But that's fine with me.

Her partner was another story. Uzumaki Naruto. He seemed to be completely fine with me, though that nickname of his is a little annoying...But I guess 'Cross' is a better alternative than 'Bean Sprout'.

It's weird that I didn't know much about him… In fact, no one really did. I even asked Kirisaki about it, and she said she barely knew anything; he always kept to himself. Tsugumi seemed to be the only person he was close to. Other than that… he was an enigma.

The one thing Kirisaki _did_ tell me… was that he was even stronger than Tsugumi. She'd seen them spar before, and no matter what he was hit with, he'd just stand right back up.

She said he could even shrug off bullets. He could catch them too, but if he were hit, it wouldn't be much of a problem for him.

If that was true, he must've been one hell of a bodyguard.

He was also pretty unpredictable. ..._Spontaneous_ would probably be a better word. There really wasn't much logic to his actions at first glance, but in the long run they'd be tremendously useful.

I'd witness that unpredictability first-hand later that day.

* * *

Bonyari High

Garden

May 22, 2014

3:42 P.M.

(Raku)

* * *

(*SKWEEE*)

The rusted axle of the wheelbarrow squealed like a dying cat, as Kirisaki pushed it around the corner, the thing loaded with bags of fertilizer. She set the thing down with a loud (*KTNK*).

"Hey, honey," she looked up, "Sensei says we need to go pick up more animal food."

"Huh? How come we hafta' do it?"

She held up an bag of the stuff, shaking it to find that it was empty.

"Honestly…" she dropped it, and the thing fluttered to the ground, "Don't schools usually have that stuff delivered?"

"Well, we have plenty of rare animals," I muttered, sitting down, "So the only option is to buy a special blend from the nearby pet store."

"Go by yourself!" she grunted, wiping her dirty hands on her skirt.

"It's heavy," I muttered, "I can't carry it all alone. Plus you have that crazy strength of yours; do something with it why don't you…"

She growled, raising a fist-

"Please wait! Ojou!"

(*SHFF*)

"Yikes!"

The hitwoman emerged from the bushes behind us, her hair and blazer covered in leaves.

"Mistress! Allow me to run this errand for you!" she said, "You shouldn't trouble yourself with such trivial things!"

"Geh!? Tsugumi? Where'd you come from?"

She stepped out of the bushes and walked off.

"Come on, Raku Ichijou! Quit dragging your feet!"

"H-Huh? Wait, I'm not rea-"

(*ACHOO!*)

The girl had sneezed into her sleeve, and was glaring at me.

"What are you- (*SNFF*) -looking at!" she growled, "Let's go!"

Kirisaki looked at her in concern, "Tsugumi… you fell into the pool yesterday, right? You're sick, aren't you?"

"N-No! I'm perfectly fine!"

Another voice resounded through the garden.

"It's alright Tsugumi."

I fell back in surprise as a nearby rock burst into smoke. The haze cleared to reveal Naruto, standing there with his hands in an odd position.

He put a hand on her shoulder, "I'll go with Cross here. You stay with Chitoge and keep her safe."

She hesitated before nodding, walking off with Kirisaki.

'Thank god for that...' I thought to myself, 'If I was alone with Tsugumi again, she'd probably try and kill me!'

The teen hit me on the shoulder with the back of his hand.

"Don't dawdle! Let's get moving!"

"Wha? Oh, right."

* * *

Pet Shop

May 22, 2014

4:07 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

"We came all this way for _that_!?"

What we'd traveled roughly 2 miles for on foot, was only a couple pounds worth of pet food.

Cross shrugged, "Why? It should be enough for a week or so. Besides, I can't carry much more of it."

"Are you serious?," I sighed, "The Yakuza blood in you must be pretty thin then…"

"Well, if you wanna' get more, you carry it," he said, "The school'll reimburse you for all of it anyway."

I grunted, "They better pay me extra for all _I_ plan on bringing."

* * *

Bonyari High

Class 1-C

May 22, 2014

4:10 P.M.

(Chitoge)

* * *

"I-It's alright Ojou… no need to fuss over me…"

I put my hands on my hips, "Of course there is! You're my friend and you're sick! Now put your head down and get some rest!"

She had no choice other than to oblige.

"This isn't going to help Mistress," she muttered, head in her arms, "I've been trained...to resist...drowsine...during missio…"

"ZZZZZZ…"

I sweatdropped, my friend having fallen asleep in mere moments.

'Wow… she really shouldn't push herself so hard...'

I wordlessly took a seat, opening the friendship notebook.

'Let's see...Iwashita...she's on the tennis team, she's always bright and cheerful…'

* * *

Streets

May 22, 2014

4:18 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

"You sure you're okay carrying all that man?" asked Cross, "We could always get a cart from the pet store or something."

I was currently balancing 500 pounds (or roughly 230 kilograms) of pet food across my shoulders, arms, and hands. All of it was bagged, so it wasn't much of a problem.

"I should be good like this," I said nonchalantly, "Besides, it's a good workout."

He sweatdropped, "While I have no doubt that you'd be able to do it… people are staring."

"Hmph. I guess a man carrying 25 bags of pet food _would_ be considered unusual."

I looked around, before finding what I was looking for.

"Here, hold these."

"Wha-? AAAAGH!"

Leaving the giant heap of bags that used to be Chitoge's boyfriend, I walked into the darkened alleyway I'd spotted.

I unsealed a utility cart, and wheeled it out of the alley like nothing had happened.

I directed my next statement to the arm sticking out of the pile, "Alright, help me stack these things."

Within the next 3 minutes, he managed to dig himself out, glaring at me as he dusted himself off.

"Geez… Where the hell'd you even find this thing?"

I shrugged, "In the alley. You'd be surprised what people throw away."

He shook his head, as he tossed more bags onto the cart with a grunt.

"**Damn kit**," muttered Kurama, "**What **_**don't**_** you have in those scrolls of yours**?"

'I got everything, plus the kitchen sink," I thought back, 'Seriously, I think I do have a kitchen sink in there.'

"Ah...There we go."

What used to be a pile of twenty pound bags on the street, was now a neatly stacked pile of twenty pound bags on an orange utility cart.

…

...

...What? I like orange, okay?

"C'mon…" I called, pushing the thing down the street, "Clear a path, wouldja'? I'm doing all the work here."

"Yeah, whatever."

* * *

Streets

May 22, 2014

4:23 P.M.

(Raku)

* * *

And so, we began the mile-and-a-half long trek down the hill, back to our school. Much easier than the trip up, right?

Well, not when you have a five-hundred-and-something stack of pet food on wheels.

And Naruto was just walking casually, fingers clasped around the handlebar, without even breaking a sweat!

"Dude, how are you doing that?" I finally asked, "It's gotta' be a 30 degree incline, and you're holding back over 500 pounds with just your fingertips!"

"Focus," he said, scratching the back of his neck with one hand, "That and practice. Lots and lots of practice."

I shook my head, swinging the small bag I'd purchased back and forth as I walked.

…

...

"Alright…" he said, "Let's get down to why I _really_ went with you today."

"?"

He let go of the handle, leaving it, as it rolled down the hill. It began to move faster, and with its weight, its speed doubled in less than 5 seconds.

"Gackk! Dude, what the hell!?"

He only smirked, before he vanished in a flash of orange light.

He reappeared at the bottom of the hill, open palm extended in front of him, ready to meet the cart when it came.

Without thinking, I sprinted down after them, hoping to stop the thing before it flattened him.

But I tripped, rolling down a good ten meters, before I landed on my back. I watched helplessly as the truck barrelled toward him…

...Only to vanish before it ever reached him.

He lowered his hand, an odd series of tattoos glowing gold, before turning solid black and disappearing.

Along with his whole body.

"H-Huh?"

"Need a hand there?"

In an instant, he was at my side again, offering me a hand up.

"But you-" I looked down the hill, "And then... the cart… what?"

He pulled me up, and I dusted myself off again, "There's a reason for that."

He pointed to the ink that reappeared on his palm and wrist, "See these? That's where the cart went."

"I-I don't understand…"

He sighed, "Well, we've got time. Let me explain to you the basics of chakra…"

* * *

Streets

May 22, 2014

4:53 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

"So what you're saying…" he said, "...is that you're some kind of mutant, super-ninja?"

"Exactly," I nodded, "Though, we prefer 'shinobi'."

We had continued down the hill at a leisurely pace, until we were about a quarter of a mile out from the school.

"Can I ask a question?"

"Technically you just did," I said, as he glared, "But go on."

He stopped walking, "Why are you telling me this?"

I stopped and turned to him. Even with the incline, we were the same height.

"You're Chitoge's 'boyfriend', right?" I said, making air-quotes, "I don't want you freaking out whenever I do some crazy shit."

"Huh? My girlfrie..."

…

…

…

"OH, RIGHT! She's my girlfriend! ...Right…"

I hit him on the shoulder, "Hey, you don't have to act around me. I already know."

He looked surprised, "You do!? Aw man, did Shu tell you?!"

I shook my head, "No, Shuu said nothing," I smirked, "So he found out too then?"

He sighed as we continued walking, "Yeah… the only ones who know are you, me, Shu, Kirisaki, my dad, and her dad."

"And Kosaki and Ruri too."

He stopped again.

"What?"

I stopped too, talking over my shoulder, "Oh, Chitoge didn't tell you? She told them after she apologized to you for the swimming incident. That's why Kosaki tried to-"

"Huh? 'Onodera tried to' what?"

I caught myself, "Nothing. It's nothing."

"...Hey, wait a sec…"

He ran over to catch up, "All that stuff happened before you and Tsugumi transferred in. If what you say is true, then does that mean…"

I nodded, "Yes, we were watching her. Claude did too, but he was clearly more obvious in doing so."

He blanched, "So you guys were there the entire time!? What was the point of even joining school then!?"

"Claude thought it'd be better if we were able to interact with Chitoge's classmates. That and you guys. He thought we'd be able to get the truth that way."

He raised an eyebrow, "But you already figured it out, right? So why not just tell him?"

It was my turn to do the same, "Do you really think I'm _that_ stupid? If Claude catches wind of that, he'll be at your door, guns a-blazin'."

"Well, thanks for that, I guess."

* * *

Bonyari High

Class 1-C

May 22, 2014

4:56 P.M.

(Chitoge)

* * *

(*ZZZZZ…*)

I glanced up from my work to Tsugumi, who was still sleeping.

'...Hey, that's not such a bad idea...'

I put my head down, and minutes later, I was out like a light.

* * *

Streets

May 22, 2014

5:02 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

We continued walking in silence until-

(*KCHYUU!*)

I sweatdropped, "Man, you're sick too, huh? And tomorrow's Saturday, right? Must suck."

"Yeah…" he sniffed, "I fell in the pool yesterday. And so did Tsugumi, right? You'll probably get sick too at this rate…"

I shook my head, "Nope. I don't have to worry about stuff like that."

He rolled his eyes, "What? Another side effect of your 'chalk-rah'?"

"Sort of, yeah."

He grunted, rubbing his irritated nose against his sleeve. I unsealed a package of tissues and tossed it to him, which he gladly took.

"So you can do things like this… and you say your arsenal is limited?"

"Restricted would be a better term. I'm not allowed to do any of my stronger techniques, like cloning myself, or creating life-size-spinning-beach-balls-of-death. I can use Sage Mode though."

"The one the talking toads taught to you, right?" to which I nodded, "Can you show me?"

"Eh, why the hell not?" I muttered, sitting cross-legged on the sidewalk, "Here, gimme' a sec."

It wasn't long before I felt the natural energy flow through me, as my eyes gained a different pigment, the eyelid changing to an orange shade. My pupil was now a bar-shape, like a toad's.

"Whoa…" muttered Cross as I stood up, "...that's kinda' freaky."

"Better than turning into a Toad Statue…" I murmured, standing up, "Here, check this out."

I unsealed the cart, and hefted it over my head. I slowly reduced the amount of fingers holding it, until my pinky was its only support.

"Holy shit!"

I sealed the cart away, as I let the energy leave me, "I can only use that one because it draws from nature. For those not in the area, there's no flux or spike in energy. And even for those _in_ the area, if they're not a skilled sensor, it might go undetected."

We continued walking, "For my other modes, that's another story, since they draw on energy within me and all that."

I laughed, "But I shouldn't need them here, lest Obito Uchiha somehow rises from the dead or something."

…

…

...

...Later on, I'd curse myself for jinxing it…

...But of course, I didn't know that yet.

* * *

Bonyari High

May 22, 2014

5:07 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

Upon delivering the food, (read: "dumped over 500 pounds of shit out of my finger"), we walked over to class 1-C, where Chitoge had said she was going.

I slid the door aside, as I looked in, Cross behind me. The two were both asleep, Tsugumi with her head cradled over her arms, Chitoge drooling all over her notebook. We both sweatdropped as we entered.

"Oi, Kirisaki," he muttered, nudging her, "Wake up, you damned Girl-rilla-"

(*PHWAM*)

Chitoge glanced up lazily, still half-asleep as she withdrew her fist.

"Wha? I feel like I hit a pest or something…"

I sighed as Cross pulled himself out of the crater he'd created upon impact.

"Very funny…" he muttered, rubbing his cheek, "Now come on. If I don't walk you home, the gang'll get suspicious."

She wiped the dried saliva off her face, as she packed up her things.

"Are you coming back to the mansion, Naruto?" she asked.

I shook my head, "Sorry, Tsugumi and I'll probably stay in for the weekend. She's still sick, so I don't think it's a good idea for her to be around everybody right now."

She nodded, "Alright. I guess I'll see you later then!"

"See you Monday, man."

"Yeah...see you…"

The two walked out, shutting the door behind them.

…

…

…

We were alone in that classroom. The only sound was that of Tsugumi's light breathing against the desk, and the ticking of the clock against the wall.

She groaned lightly as she repositioned herself, with her head facing outward, toward me. I could see her blushing face, probably from the sickness. I put my hand against her forehead; it was burning hot.

I took the seat beside her and took a similar position, waiting for her to wake up.

Those ticking seconds turned to minutes… and those minutes to hours. Until…

(*ZZZZ…*)

* * *

Streets

May 22, 2014

5:10 P.M.

(Chitoge)

* * *

"Hey, you never told me that you told Onodera!"

I glanced over at the shouting Bean Sprout.

"Oh, I didn't?" I shrugged, "My bad."

He sighed roughly, "Geez… Let me know when you do stuff like that, okay? I've been acting around her for weeks, while she's known all along!

"Alright, alright!" I conceded, as we continued walking.

"...Hey, that goes for you two, Aho-Moyashi. Who'd you tell?"

"I only told Shu. No one else," he said, scratching at his hair.

…

…

"Hey, by the way…" he said, "...your bodyguard figured it out.

My eyes widened, "Tsugumi!? Uh-oh, this isn't good-!"

He shouted back in an attempt to calm me down, "Not Tsugumi, Naruto! He told me today."

I looked over at him warily, "And did he tell Claude?"

It was a fair question. While Tsugumi took her orders directly from the man (almost blindly), Naruto's loyalties were rather iffy. But I knew that when he _did_ accept a mission, he'd never fail to get the job done, no matter how tall the order.

He shook his head, "He didn't. Said if he did, he may as well shoot me in the head while he was at it."

I raised an eyebrow, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what it sounds like," he said, "Telling Claude the truth behind our relationship would be like painting a target on my forehead. He'd kill me the second he knew."

"Not only that but..."

(*KERCHYUU!*)

I looked over at him, "You're sick too, huh?"

He nodded, pulling some tissues from his pocket, "And right when the weekend starts. It sucks."

'...He probably got sick from falling in the pool yesterday, so I guess it's kinda' my fault…' I thought to myself, '...Maybe I'll pay him a visit tomorrow, see how he's doing.'

* * *

Bonyari High

Class 1-C

May 22, 2014

6:53 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

"...ey...Hey kid! Wake up."

I rose my head drowsily, as I looked up at the janitor.

"The school's lockin' up soon," he said, "Take your gal-pal and head on home."

I was too groggy to properly retort as the man left, taking the "CAUTION: WET FLOOR!" sign with him.

I stood up and faced Tsugumi, who had yet to awaken.

"Hey, Tsugu. Wake up, the school's closing."

She moaned again in response, turning her head away from my voice.

"Tsugu… C'mon Tsugu! If you don't wake up, I'll start tickling."

…

…

No reply.

I sighed, never intending to follow through on that threat. The last time I had done so, she'd broken my arm on accident. Of course, I'd simply reset it, and it'd healed within a minute or two, but it still hurt like a bitch.

"...Mattaku…"

I slipped my left arm below her knees, and my right under her back. Lifting her up, I sealed away our bags and carried her bridal style to the door, which I promptly opened with my foot.

'I can't believe I'm doing this...'

And so began the journey home.

* * *

BeeHive HQ

Hall

May 22, 2014

7:06 P.M.

(Chitoge)

* * *

"Oh, Ojou," spoke Claude as he passed, "Would you happen to have seen Seishirou anywhere? I haven't seen him since yesterday morning."

"Ah, I think Tsugumi and Naruto are at their apartment. Tsugumi's sick, and Naruto told me to tell you that they're taking the weekend off."

The man pushed up his glasses, "I see. Considering how well those two have been working lately, I suppose I'll let them off the hook this time around."

The lenses glinted in the light, "But tell him that in the future, impending vacations require a minimum of a two day notice."

"Well, Tsugumi got sick _today_, so I'd imagine it wasn't exactly planned…"

"Regardless…" he muttered, walking off, "...I have business to attend to. Farewell, Ojou."

"Um...'farewell' to you too..." I waved, hesitantly.

* * *

Streets

May 22, 2014

7:14 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

I leapt fluidly from rooftop to rooftop, Tsugumi in my arms, and the wind at my back. The sun had dipped below the mountains, bathing the town in an orange-y pinkish glow.

I wrinkled my nose. While it was certainly beautiful, it was a result of humanity's negligence toward nature, and the pollution that followed. The translucent haze that always hung over the town made it impossible to see the stars at night; a real shame, since that happened to be a recently acquired hobby of mine.

As the sun set, the temperature dropped, and the winds grew stronger. It wasn't too much of a problem for me; with my training I barely noticed it.

But I _did_ notice Tsugumi snuggling up closer to me. She groaned lightly, as she tried to bury her face into my chest.

"Nnnn…warm..." she moaned, "...smells...good…"

I flushed redder than she was, but said nothing as I continued forward.

By the time we'd reached the building, the sun had set, and the moon shone brightly in the sky. I touched down lightly on the roof, setting Seishirou down softly, with her back leaning up on the metal surface of the fence. I checked my pocket-seals, before patting down my pants, unable to find what I was looking for.

"Gah, dammit… Of all the days to forget my keys…"

And it wasn't like I could just bust through the door either. It had been fitted with a seal designed to electrocute possible intruders. And that seal was only deactivated when a key I'd lined with counter-seals was inserted into the lock.

Going through the window wasn't an option either; I'd rigged it to repel and withstand any impact. Not only that, but it could only be nullified from the inside.

"Shit… Curse me and my paranoia…"

I sat down cross-legged beside Seishirou, resting my chin against my palm.

'So let's see…it's almost 8 o'clock, I'm locked out of my apartment with my unconscious, incapacitated roommate, and the cold's finally starting to get to me.'

"**Hey, you've been through worse**," muttered the Kitsune, "**Remember the time the villagers skinned you alive and set you on fire**?"

'That was over a decade ago,' I grumbled, appearing in my mindscape, "And how does that help me?'

"**I'm not here to help you brat, I'm here because there's nothing better to do**," snarled the beast, "**And besides, none of this would've happened if you'd have remembered to grab your damn keys**."

'I usually don't have to,' I shot back, 'Tsugu's usually the one to open it...'

'...Hey, wait a minute...'

I pulled myself back to reality and shook my partner lightly, causing her to stir.

"Hey, Tsugu," I whispered (she probably had a headache, considering), "Where's your key?"

"Nnn?" she didn't open her eyes, mumbling as she shifted position, "It's in my...pants pocket..."

My face flushed lightly at the thought, "C-Could you maybe, get it for me?"

"...Too tired…" she murmured, "...you..get it…"

I sighed, "Will you at least tell me what pocket it is?"

"Zzz…"

I sweatdropped, as my inner beast howled with laughter.

Cheeks flushing redder than the evening sky, I reached into her left pocket; empty. Upon pulling my hand out, it brushed over the thin fabric that separated the soft skin of her thighs from my fingertips.

Her breathing hitched, as she giggled lightly in her sleep.

"Hmm… Naruto… that tickles…"

I blushed even harder, 'Geez… if she's all loopy from just being sick, I'd hate to see what she'd be like when she's drunk.'

"**You kidding**? **I'd love to see it**."

'Shut up! Freakin' pervy fox...'

"...**I said nothing perverted**," he chortled, "**You came to that conclusion all on your own**."

'...Shit.'

I patted down her other leg. No key there either…

'So then it has to be her back pocke-'

…

…

…

(*BUWOOM BUWOOM BUWOOM*)

The building trembled as I repeatedly bashed my head into the ground.

'YOU GOTTA' BE KIDDING!' I screamed mentally, 'THERE'S NO WAY I CAN-'

(*FWOOO…*)

The wind began to pick up, putting a nip in the air as the temperature dropped even further. Seishirou's soft, warm breaths soon became visible puffs amidst the cold. She shivered, pulling my jacket around her like a blanket.

'This is ridiculous… It's summer for Chrissake!'

I turned to face my partner, who was still 'out cold' (no pun intended). She curled in on herself, hugging her knees to shield her from the frigid air.

'But seeing her like this…'

I clenched my left fist tightly as I steeled my resolve, reaching out my hand...

'Dammit, I'm just gonna' have to!'

"HAIL MARY!"

…

…

…

"I GOT 'EM!"

(*KA-BLAM!*)

* * *

Maiko's House

May 22, 2014

8:31 P.M.

(Shu)

* * *

I looked up from my dinner as an odd feeling washed over me.

'Ah… it appears one of my disciples has finally gotten to second base!'

With a wide grin, I shot a thumbs up to the sky.

'Best of luck in your future endeavors; whomever you may be!'

"Erm, Shu? What are you doing?"

"Hm? Oh, nothing."

* * *

Shuei-gumi Base

May 23, 2014

9:17 A.M.

(Raku)

* * *

(*KR-BEEEP*)

The thermometer let out a colossal screech, signifying that it had performed the task for which it was built. Literally. The small screen read "38.6°C" ("101.5°F").

"Damn… Seriously?" I swore, "Well, I'm definitely sick then…"

I could hear the muffled sounds of voices and shuffling feet through my door.

'Least I managed to get rid of those annoying bastards… Guess I'll try and get some rest.'

(*ACHOO!*)

I rubbed my nose on my sleeve, 'Mendokusei.. Why do I hafta get sick on a weekend!?'

(*FWHM FWHM FWHM*)

I lay back on the futon, the rock-solid pillow doing nothing to stop the pounding in my head.

…

…

…

"...It's not just in my head, is it?"

(*FWHM FWHM FWHM*)

Upon realizing that the noise was of someone banging on the door, I slowly pushed myself off the mattress.

'Who the heck could that be, first thing in the morning?'

I passed through the common silently, and I opened the door to reveal:

"Ohayou, darling…" muttered my 'girlfriend', holding up a plastic bag, "How ya' feeling?"

* * *

Naruto and Tsugumi's Apartment

May 23, 2014

9:43 A.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

I ran a hand over my chin at a new sensation; a feeling of pain that wasn't really there.

'Urgh… I haven't been _this_ sore in a while...'

After I'd managed to grab the keys, heal my broken jaw, and climb back up the building, I picked up Tsugumi, and entered the apartment. By that point, I was _exhausted_, and barely managed to drop her off in her own bed before crashing on my own.

But now, due to a good night's rest (and Kurama's inherent ability to absorb nutrients from pretty much anything), I was back on my feet and ready to go!

...Metaphorically.

At the moment, I was kneeling beside Tsugumi's bed with a basket of washcloths I'd drenched in cold water. I had placed one on her forehead, and replaced it periodically; a common method of reducing temperature during a fever.

Sensing my companion beginning to stir, I removed the cloth as her eyes fluttered open.

She looked to her right, "Naru..to…what?"

"Here," I procured a bowl of soup, laying it on a tray, "Eat this."

"Nnn… what is it?" she slurred, still more than half asleep.

"Ambrosia."

An onlooker might have sweatdropped (and/or facefaulted) at my casual remark regarding the soup I'd placed before her.

For it was no ordinary soup! 'Twas the food of the gods themselves! With its heavenly aroma, delicious broth, well-prepared noodles, and _just_ the right amount of seasoning; it was the Ramen of the Ichiraku family!

I always carried around at least a hundred bowls or so in a scroll, in case of situations like this.

...Or, if I just missed home.

She slowly pushed herself up, shutting her eyes and opening her mouth.

…

…

…

"...Do you expect me to feed you?"

She nodded, mouth still open.

…

…

…

I sighed, using a pair of chopsticks to hold up a cluster of noodles as I blew at it.

'...I suppose there could be worse ways to spend a Saturday...'

* * *

Shuei-gumi Base

May 23, 2014

9:46 A.M.

(Raku)

* * *

"So… how're you feeling?"

I'd led the blonde into my room, at the insistence of the others. She dropped the bag in my desk, taking a seat.

"Okay, I guess. I have a fever and all, but it's not bad," I said, as nonchalantly as a sick person possibly could, "I'll be better soon."

"Ah. That's good."

She crossed her legs, laying her interlocking fingers over her right knee.

"Well, I came all the way over here anyway. Anything I can do?"

"...Um...you're kinda' creeping me out…Is something the matter?"

"Wha!? What the hell's that supposed to mean?!"

"Anyway…I brought you an apple," she pulled said object from the bag, along with a knife, "Want me to peel it for you?"

"...Are _you _sick?"

"Shut up! Who asked you anyway!?"

She got to work on the apple, as I laid down, trying to distract myself from the fact that I felt like crap.

'What's up with her? She's being disturbingly nice today. What's the deal?'

"There! All peeled! Here you go; eat up."

She held out what remained of the fruit.

The following were a set of rapid-fire retorts:

"What am I supposed to eat!?"

She frowned, "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Why is the core the only thing left!?" I shouted, ignoring the throbbing pain in my head, "What the hell happened to the fruit!?"

"Huh? They always turn out like this when I peel them!"

"Well then, you're the worst peeler I've ever seen!"

"Shut up! Maybe have a little gratitude! I'm doing you a favor here!"

"But there's nothing left to eat!"

"God, don't get your panties in a bunch!"

"You kiss your mother with that mouth!?"

And that argument went on for a good 5 minutes.

* * *

Naruto and Tsugumi's Apartment

May 23, 2014

9:46 A.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

After finishing the bowl, Tsugumi fell to the clutches of sleep once again. I moved the tray out of the way, and had placed the bowl in the sink when my phone began to vibrate across the counter.

Yes, over the course of my stay in Bonyari City, it had been pointed out to me that owning a cell phone would be far more efficient than messenger hawk. Something that I'd realized and wholeheartedly agreed with upon holding one in my hand and learning to use it.

So Claude had given me one of his old encrypted ones, that ran on the BeeHive's private network (yes, we had one of those.). It was near indestructible, and could only be tracked by the BeeHive's satellite (and yes, we had one of those too).

I 'unlocked' it, revealing a text from Shu.

"Hey!" it read, "I was on my way to the camera shop near your house? Wanna' tag along?"

I texted back, "Sorry. Tsugumi's sick, and has been sleeping all day. I have to stay and take care of her."

It hadn't been thirty seconds before he replied, "You didn't happen to cop a feel last night, did you?"

I grumbled, my thumbs flying over the small keyboard, "That's none of your damn business."

"LOL! Well, I'm going to invite Raku then."

"I don't think he can make it. He's sick, and Chitoge texted me that she's taking care of him."

"Ohoho!" he texted, "I'll make sure to let the others know! Ciao! 83"

I sweatdropped at the number. It was one of those "emoticon" things; if you tilted your head 90 degrees, it resembled that face he liked to make sometimes, the '8' being his glasses, and the '3' being his mouth.

'Sounds like Cross' gonna' have his hands full...'

I took a sip of my tea, 'But that's none of my business.'

* * *

Shuei-gumi Base

May 23, 2014

9:51 A.M.

(Raku)

* * *

"Oh! I didn't realize you were here too, Chitoge!"

"Kosaki!? What are you doing here?!"

Like an angel sent from heaven to take care of me in my time of need, there, standing at my front door, was Onodera.

"I got a text from Maiko… He said you were sick, and I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd drop by and check on you.

"Wow, really? Thanks!"

"Can I come in?"

"Sure! Of course!"

We led her back to my room, where she set her bag down next to Kirisaki's.

"I know! I'll make you some rice porridge! Can I use the kitchen?"

"R-Really? Thanks!"

"I'll make you some too!"

I looked at Chitoge skeptically, "Have you made Okayu before?"

"No… so what?"

The two went off to the kitchen, closing the door behind them.

'I don't get it… I've got two girls making me rice porridge… And one of them is _Kirisaki_!'

…

…

…

'Yikes! One of them is Kirisaki!'

'Shiiiit… I forgot! Those two can't cook! Kirisaki's cake would've been a disaster if I didn't help!'

I stood, tiptoeing to the door and putting my ear against it.

'But there's nothing simpler than Okayu… How could they screw _that_ up?'

I heard Kirisaki's voice say, "Let's see… It's rice porridge, so we start with rice, right?"

"We'll make him a porridge that'll really make him feel better!" said Onodera.

"Yeah! It'll blow his cold out of the water!"

I sighed in relief, but the two continued.

Onodera: Maybe we should add some Aojiru for the vitamins.

Chitoge: Kale juice? Good idea! That'll make him feel better! Hey, how much salt do we need?

Onodera: I dunno'... maybe about half the bag?

Chitoge: Okay! Oh no! I accidentally dumped it all in!

Chitoge: I know! Let's add a vitamin drink! And maybe miso!

Onodera: Sounds good! What else is good for a cold...

Onodera: Black rice vinegar, some liver, hijiki seaweed, fermented soybeans, spicy pollock roe...

Kirisaki: How about some vitamin pills?

Onodera: Oh, that'll be good for him!

Kirisaki: Maybe some orange juice too!

Onodera: Good idea!

(*screams internally*)

'Fuck! If I eat that, I'll die for sure!' I opened a window, prepared to climb out if it came to that.

(*FWMM*)

The door flew open, "It's ready!"

"MEEEP!"

They walked over, presenting me with their creations.

"Well? Turned out pretty good, don't you think?" grinned Kirisaki.

Kirisaki's pot was filled with a dark, translucent goop, bubbling over the edges like a witch's cauldron. It radiated a rank odor, and an aura that promised death when consumed.

"I hope you like it…" Onodera shied.

Unlike Kirisaki's, Onodera's pot sparkled like it had been blessed by the culinary gods themselves. Coloration, texture, and temperature, with a sprig of mint as garnish in the center; it _looked_ perfect. And that itself was kinda' unsettling.

'What the hell is with Kirisaki's Okayu? It looks like some kind of bottomless swamp from the demonic realm! I feel queasy just looking at it.'

I glanced at Onodera's, 'And why does her's look so good? She put all that weird stuff in it, right? This is even scarier! Where'd the black rice vinegar and liver go?!'

"Alright, darling! Eat up!"

"Um...yeah..ah…" I racked my brain desperately, "I… don't have much of an appetite with my fever and all…"

"What!? You're not gonna' eat the porridge we made you?!"

"C'mon! It might not _look_ great…" she held up a spoon of the gunk, black and smoking, "...but remember last time? I'm sure it tastes fine! One bite and you'll love it!"

(*FWMM*)

"Bocchan! How ya' feelin'!?"

'Ryuu! Save me from this nightmare!' I screamed mentally.

"Sorry… I know ya' said to leave ya' alone, but I couldn't help worrying!" he then noticed the girls, "And what's this? Oh, your girlfriend's come to take care of you!"

The group behind him chimed in with their own comments:

"Now that's devotion!"

"Do I hear wedding bells?"

"Oh, a concubine too!" one said, causing Onodera to flush, "Ah, Bocchan! You're a paragon of virility!"

"AUGH! NO!"

The others wheeled in a cart, with a large metal carton.

"By the way, Bocchan… I made you some Okayu!"

"M-More porridge?"

He then took notice of the pots in their hands.

…

…

"Forgive me, Bocchan!" he cried, tears flowing, "I hadn't realized your girlfriend was making porridge! How thoughtless of me!"

"Oh! Uh…"

"Eat up, Bocchan! Before that Okayu gets cold!" he said, wiping his eyes, "I'll just throw this fetid porridge I made into the cesspool!"

'Nooo! Wait!' I continued to mentally scream, 'Please! You gotta' let me have that porridge!'

"Here it comes darling! Open wide!"

"Urk!"

I glanced over at Onodera, still waiting with her pot in hand.

'Well, fuck,' I grabbed for the two pots, 'Here goes nothing!'

(*GLRFF!*)

And I gulped them down at the same time.

Imagine all those things they threw in there: vinegar, liver, fish, mustard… Now imagine they threw all that in a blender before dumping it down the drain, and scooping it out of the sewer with a pot. Then, multiply that taste by 50. That is as accurate a description as I can give you.

The 'soup' burned my throat like liquid fire, as it made its descent to my stomach, where it most likely overpowered the acid.

"De-Delish!" I managed to rasp out.

"Ha ha ha ha! Of course! Ain't nothin' better than food made by the one ya' love!"

"Well, 'scuse us for intrudin'! We'll get lost now!" he said, waving, "Rest up, Bocchan!"

The two girls looked up at my quivering form, "Are you alright, Ichijou-kun?"

That was all I really remembered before everything went black.

* * *

Shuei-gumi Base

May 23, 2014

2:57 P.M.

(Chitoge)

* * *

I sighed, flicking through a bunch of text posts on my phone. It'd been almost 5 hours since the incident, but it probably wasn't a good idea to leave until the sun began to set.

In fact I would've gotten to leave had I not won that stupid Jan-Ken-Pon game. Stupid me, picking paper.

(*SHFF*)

His covers shifted, as he reached out and grabbed my hand.

"Awp!"

I moved to smack him, like usual… But I'd probably feel guilty later if I hit him while he was unconscious.

"...Geez…"

'I guess I'll let you off easy… just this once.'

I glanced over at my bag, to see a single black marker sticking out.

'...Actually, on second thought...'

* * *

Naruto and Tsugumi's Apartment

May 23, 2014

8:53 P.M.

(Tsugumi)

* * *

The worst part of being unconscious is not in fact the cause, nor is it the unconsciousness itself, but rather, the awakening.

And trust me, I speak from experience.

Your hearing is the first sense to return. It starts with this annoying hum, that goes on for as long as it takes for you to recognize it. And once you do, since that's all you have, you start to focus on it. As you do, the noise begins to get clearer, becoming more and more comprehensible until it fully returns.

After that, your sense of touch is restored. You try to move, only to find your body unwilling to respond. While your body struggles to remember which way is up, the white void clears, and you realize that it was in fact simply your eyes readjusting to the light.

It was usually around this point that I remembered. Remembered whatever training exercise I'd been undergoing… Then how I'd probably failed, and how Claude would chew me out for it.

But not this time. All I recalled was Naruto going off with Ichijou to the store in my place. Everything after that was simply a blur.

And if that was the case, then why was I in a bed?

I tried to move again, but again, my body failed to respond. My attempt at movement only furthered the pounding in my head, and I clenched my eyes shut as I tried to drive it out.

'Nnn..Hey, what's this?'

There was something on my forehead. It was cold and moist; compared to the rest of my overheating body, it felt rather nice.

It was then that my motor skills fully rebooted, so to speak. I was able to push myself up, the feeling of cold falling from my forehead.

(*ZZZ…*)

I glanced to my right to see Naruto with his torso sprawled over the bed and his head in my lap, drooling into the blankets. He had an empty cup on the nightstand, a tea bag hanging over the side. Next to it was a glass of water, presumably meant for me.

I pulled the earlier object up off the sheets, "A... wet towel?"

Beside my partner was a whole pail of them, all soaking in a pool of water.

'He's been changing them out this whole time?' I wrinkled my nose slightly at the stench, 'Would've been a kind gesture, if it didn't smell so bad.'

I absentmindedly twirled his blond hair with my finger, 'It was still rather nice of him to take care of me all this time,' I put a palm on my forehead, 'My fever's all gone.'

I stroked the whisker-like birthmarks on his cheeks. He never let me do it while he was awake, so I may as well-

"Nnn, stop it."

Upon realizing what I'd been doing, he turned his head upward to face mine.

"You know those are sensitive…" he grumbled.

I giggled lightly, poking him in the cheek. Eliciting a grunt, he gently pushed it away with his hand.

"Thanks for taking care of me, Whiskers."

He smiled faintly, "No prob, Tsugu."

* * *

Shuuei-gumi Base

May 24, 2014

9:12 A.M.

(Raku)

* * *

'Ahh...' I stretched, 'Slept like a baby!'

'I don't remember anything after I passed out yesterday...' I scratched at my hair as I walked, 'But I guess it doesn't matter. I'm all better now.'

'I guess I should thank those two for coming by,' I nodded in response to the greetings I'd received upon entering the common, 'That porridge might've been disgusting, but it certainly did the trick.'

The grunts looked up from chowing down on Ryuu's Okayu, "Whoa! What happened to your face, Bocchan!?"

"What?"

I was swiftly handed a mirror.

"GAH! KIRISAKIIIII!"

* * *

**This should be a good place to stop.**

**Hey! This is pretty cool; I based Tsugumi's awakening on 3 things. A fanfic, the manga, and an anime-movie. Try to guess which fic, which chapter of the manga, and which movie.**

**Hints: For the fic, it's the first 3 paragraphs of the 21st chapter and it's on my favorites list, for the manga, it's after the Romeo and Juliet arc, and for the anime-movie the main character doesn't have a name; only a nickname.**

**I'm sure most of you will get it. I'll put the answers up on the next update.**

'**Til then!**

**- Objection234 (Akane Sasu Sora on YouTube)**


	6. Chapter 5: Debt

**Big news everyone! I think I've finally figured out who the promised girl is. If you want to hear my theory, it's at the bottom of the chapter, but read at your own risk. There are potential spoilers in it.**

**In other news, I'd like to let you all know that later on in the fic, I plan to address Marika's condition. Mimiko Kiki will serve a much more major role as well.**

**Answering the question from last time, the movie was **_**The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya**_**, the manga chapter was 86, and the fic was **_**The Newest Challenger**_**, by Kenchi618.**

**And have you guys heard Ruri's ED theme? It went unused in the actual anime, but it was released with Volume 4 of the DVDs. "OrderXOrder" is the name; if you wanna' hear it, it's on YouTube.**

**One last thing. Some people have pointed out how there haven't been many fight scenes as of recently. Well…**

**...Let's just say, that's all about to change.**

**Here's chapter 5.**

* * *

? ? ?

? ? ?

? ? ?

? ? ?

(Kakashi)

* * *

White.

…

…

...

...That's it. Just… white.

It's all I saw. In every direction. There wasn't anything else.

(*NOK NOK*)

I looked down at myself. Or at least, I think I did. I didn't appear to have a body or anything, but I could feel it. It was _there_, it just wasn't there. Know what I mean?

…

…

…Ignore that.

It was an odd sensation. Like being underwater for too long, too deep, and not knowing which way was up. However, I didn't feel the great pressure of the ocean depths, but rather this feeling of weightlessness, as if I were floating on a cloud or something.

If I had my voice, I'd have snorted. Shikamaru'd be jealous.

(*NOK NOK*)

"Let's see… I know I'm not dead," I muttered (kind of), "There's no campfire to sit around with all my loved ones."

(*NOK NOK*)

'...Alright, what the hell is that?'

"Kakashi, my hip and eternal rival!" boomed a muffled, familiar voice, "To sleep in on the day of a mission is very unyouthful!"

I blinked, trying to focus my thoughts. As I did so, the white… dampened, becoming slightly discolored. Curious, I did it again, shapes starting to form, blotting the blank canvas that I'd woken up to.

With one final blink, my vision returned. I was in my bed. In my apartment. In Konoha.

I sighed, sitting up and brushing a clump of silver hair out of my face, matted together by sweat. With a small heave, I pushed myself off the bed, relishing in the cold of the wooded floor of my home.

"Geez…" I grumbled, "It's bloody wintertime, and it's still scorching in Fire Country."

I suited up, pulling the facemask over my nose. 'Maybe I should ask Tsunade-sama for a vacation. Kami knows I deserve one.'

I stretched, satisfied at the popping of my bones. 'Maybe after today's mission then...'

Grabbing 'Icha Icha Panic' off my nightstand, I moved to answer the door.

"Gai," I sighed, "Any particular reason you're banging on my door at this unholy hour?"

The man blinked, looking at a clock on the wall. It was almost 1 in the afternoon.

"You should know Kakashi! We have a joint operation today!" he chided, "And you've overslept! How unyouthful!"

"Ah, sorry, sorry," I gave a sheepish eye-smile, "I'd completely forgotten! And I just got a new mattress you see, and it's quite comfortable."

Of course, that was a lie. Not the mattress bit; it was probably the cause of the weightlessness of my dream.

It was the mission part. Ever since Naruto'd left a couple weeks ago, I'd practically _buried_ myself in work, in hopes that the rush of adrenaline usually associated with S-Ranks would distract me from my constant fretting over my blond student.

Of course, when that stopped working, my work ethic plummeted (which, considering how low the bar had already been set, was pretty damn impressive). Now, I only took the missions to which I was assigned, contrary to the brief period in which I'd actually _volunteered_ for most of them. And even then, I did them rather half-heartedly, though I still got the job done.

'Still though,' I pondered, 'Some time off _really_ sounds like a good idea…'

"…ey, Kakashi! Kakashi!" a voice brought me out of my thoughts, "Are you in there, my eternal rival?"

I blinked, staring at the man.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did you just say something?"

At that, the 'Sublime Green Beast of the Hidden Leaf' fell to his knees, purplish cloud of depression settling above his head, cartoonish tears streaming down his face.

"Kakashi…" he muttered, "Your hip ways have bested me once again!"

I walked past the groveling Jonin, tugging the edges of my gloves at the wrists.

"Quit the bellyaching, Gai…" I clenched my hand into an experimental fist, "We got a mission, right?"

* * *

Japan

Bonyari High

May 29, 2014

12:45 P.M.

(Tsugumi)

* * *

"So what's up? You said you wanted to talk?"

I nodded, gladly accepting the drink my mistress offered me. I popped the cap off the cola and took a sip, washing away the lingering flavors of my earlier meal.

It was lunch break. Ojou-sama and I had finished our food a bit early and, after a trip to the vending machines, decided to spend the remainder of the period outside. We were currently occupying a small bench in the courtyard, facing the street. Unfortunately, Onodera-sama and Miyamoto-sama had other business to attend to, and were unable to join us.

Feeling the liquid go down my throat, I placed the cap back on and licked my lips. I could already feel the caffeine pumping through my system.

"It's really no big deal or anything… it's just…"

She looked back at me strangely, not used to seeing me struggle with words. I finally managed to pull myself together enough to continue.

"Um… you know how Naruto took care of me last weekend?"

She flushed a bit, and averted her gaze. Apparently, my words had brought to mind memories of her own weekend; she was in a similar situation with her boyfriend, as she later told me.

"Y-Yeah. What about it?"

I said nothing of her unusual state, and continued.

"W-Well… it was just really nice of him! He carried me home from school, and then did nothing but fuss over me for the next 20 hours…"

"Although… I suppose getting groped isn't exactly what some would consider 'nice'," I muttered to myself.

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing."

She raised an eyebrow, but chose to drop it. "So where are you going with this?"

"Like I said, it was _really_ nice of him! If he'd just left me there, or didn't assist me in my time of need, who knows what could've happened!" I said, "In my vulnerable state, I might've been attacked by an enemy! Or maybe the disease would've taken my life! I'm really grateful for what he did!"

The girl sweatdropped at my outlandish conjecture, "I don't think we agree on the likelihood of something like that happening…" she sipped her drink, "Not to mention, Naruto's like that. He's the kind of guy that'll do whatever it takes to make you happy, whether you like it or not."

I nodded in agreement at the truth of her statement as she continued, "…But I see your point. You want to find some way to repay him, right?"

"Yes! Exactly!" I smiled brightly, "And I was wondering if you have any suggestions."

"Hmm…" she tapped her chin lightly in thought, "Let's see… what does he like?"

"Ramen," I listed, "pranks, ramen, his 'precious people', the idea of becoming Hokage, ramen, ninja stuff, ramen, good scotch (or really any other form of alcohol), cooking, and ramen."

Her eyes brightened, as if she'd just remembered something important, "Ooh! You forgot ramen!"

I frowned, "But I said it 5 times! What do you mean?"

"…It's called sarcasm, Tsugumi."

"Hmph. Duly noted," I downed the rest of the soda, tossing the bottle in a nearby recycling bin, "So, suggestions?"

The girl tapped her chin in thought. "Well, it'd have to be something new. So, no breakfast in bed," she listed off her fingers, "...watching movies, or taking him out for dinner. You've done all those things already."

She paused and frowned, "Come to think of it, _you've done all those things already_. Are you sure you guys aren't a couple?"

My eyes shot wide, and I nearly fell off the bench. "Wh-Wh-Wh-What are you implying, Ojou!?"

She tilted her head, "Well, everything I listed was couple stuff. You know, _things couples do_?"

"It's not like that!" I grumbled, spelling it out for her for the thousandth time, "We're just partners; coworkers!"

As I spoke, I began to feel a little light-headed, and my face heated up. 'It's probably just from the cola,' I told myself.

She gave me a look, "'Coworkers' that live together?"

"Yes!"

She sighed, "Well, I don't really have any suggestions for you. Aside from _actually taking him out on a date_ or something."

* * *

Bermuda Triangle

Konohagakure no Sato

December 22

12:52 P.M.

(Kakashi)

* * *

It had been… 25 days since Naruto had left.

Or rather, 25 days in _our_ time.

See, out there… Japan… America, time passes very differently. It moves more slowly within the Elemental Continents, and more quickly everywhere else.

That's why, despite me being born first, Claude was physically older, having spent the latter part of his life outside the Bermuda Triangle. He was 37, and I was 32. Last I heard from him, he was married with a kid on the way.

Of course, that was almost 20 years ago in their time. I have no idea what's going on with him now. Hell, if I hadn't hit him up and sent Naruto over to him, at that rate, I don't think we would've talked again. Speaking of…

It'd been almost a month (our time) since Naruto had left.

The Village wasn't the same since. Despite the festivities of Christmas on the horizon, decorations strewn about the streets and buildings, lights lain through the branches of trees, and the giant santa hats we'd put over the Hokage Monument every year, everything seemed a little… hollow.

Wait, no. That's wrong. Let me correct myself.

The village hadn't been 'the same', since Pain destroyed it. Even with Naruto's Kage Bunshin help during reconstruction, seeing Konoha ravaged and lifeless like that _really_ brought down morale.

…

…

..._Actually_, I suppose it all started back during my Team's first Chuunin Exam, where Orochimaru'd infiltrated and marked Sasuke. Then the One-Tail Jinchuuriki took out most of the forest, and the snake had laid waste to the village.

…

…

…

...Well, if we're splitting hairs, everything can really be traced back to the damage cause by the Kyuubi attack, and how Obito took his revenge on the Leaf. Then Minato-sensei and Kushina-senpai died, sealing the beast into their only son…

…

…

…

...But then, it goes back even further to when Obito saw Rin jump in front of my Chidori… and that can be blamed on the Third Mizukage and the Bloodline war… but then Madara was the one who had Yagura under his control… and that means that all of Konoha's problems have resulted from it's very _founding_; it's like it was doomed to begin with. And that's kind of a cynical thought to have, huh?

But I digress.

While Konoha, nor the Elemental Countries for that matter, had ever known _true_ peace, (only that of the "Fine, I'm tired of fighting over 'insert-reason-here', I'm gonna' go home and rebuild my numbers to fuck you up later" variety) it never seemed that way. It's citizens always did their best to forgive, forget, and move on with their lives, no matter how difficult it may be for them. It was rather admirable actually, the Hi no Ishi (Burning Will).

But the war… it hit harder than anything had ever done before.

For the first time since the village's founding, the Will of Fire flickered. The citizens seemed to have lost all hope, with ⅔ of our population wiped off the face of the Earth.

Not even the lively Naruto, the hero of the Elemental Nations… not even he came out unscathed.

After the… _incident_, he'd joined ANBU. Throwing himself into S-Rank after S-Rank, he quickly ascended the pecking order until he was placed under the ANBU Commander Boar's personal squad.

And yet… he was merely a shell of his former self.

With his spirit broken, morale plummeted. To see the Number 1 Hyperactive Knucklehead Ninja actually _not being hyperactive..._

What's more, you couldn't talk to a damn person in the entire village who hadn't lost a friend or family member. And for what? For one man's petty feud? For a dream that was never in his reach to begin with?

Obito… you're with Rin now, I hope. Was it all worth it?

Of course not. No one even knew whether or not he was dead. The day I'd returned from the coast of Japan, Tsunade-sama had sent me and a group of Jonin (her personal guard included) to the newly named Shuumatsu no Funkako (Crater of the End) to inspect the tomb of earth that had encased the masked man.

Needless to say, there wasn't a body to be found.

Upon seeing that, I'd swore and pinched the bridge of my nose.

The other Jonin were in similar states, Genma's senbon falling from his mouth, Kotetsu and Izumo's eyes wide, the ever-youthful Gai staring at the ground solemnly. Some of the greener Jonin, promoted in the field during the war, fell to their knees, vomiting or openly weeping.

'Everyone...' I'd clenched my eyes shut, tears almost spilling, 'We failed you...'

Yes, Obito's body had vanished. The only lead we had was the report Yamato'd passed along from Kirabi, shortly before his demise.

Yes, demise.

The rap-spitting, hard-hitting Eight-Tailed Jinchuuriki had perished in combat, fighting off who seemed to be a fully recovered Obito. Or at least, that's what we were able to make of his message.

But since then, we'd received another tip. An old contact of Jiraiya-sama's network had reported sightings of Akatsuki-cloaked men off the border or Rice Country. Several Jonin (among them Gai and I) as well as a few ANBU had been assigned by Tsunade to investigate.

And that's where we were headed now.

"Of all the days to be late Kakashi…" muttered Gai, seemingly unnerved, "...This is not one of them."

"Yeah, I know," I spoke back, voice level despite our jumping from branch to branch, "This is the first time I've done a mission like this since ANBU. Heading directly into enemy territory like this."

"Orochimaru is dead," he said, sounding like he was trying to convince himself, "That monster… is dead. All we're doing is confirming our sources. No moving in or taking any sort of action… If the sightings happen to be true, we report back to Tsunade-sama, and she organizes a larger assault force…"

I gave him a look with my one eye, "Yeah, I _know_. I was there for the briefing, remember?"

The Jonin said nothing in response, large brows furrowed as we continued on our way.

* * *

Japan

Bonyari High

May 31, 2014

12:54 P.M.

(Tsugumi)

* * *

"Hm? Debt you say?"

Claude looked up from his Chitoge-themed bento and makeshift shrine at my question.

"I would suggest paying off such a thing before interest accumulates," he said, "In this economy, you can't afford to take loans you cannot repay."

I sweatdropped. "While... that's all... well and grand…"

My eyes drifted over to the photo as I spoke, "...Like I said earlier, this isn't any form of physical debt. It's just… I want to repay someone for helping me out…"

"Oh? Well, I must apologize."

I gave a curious look, "What? Why?"

His mouth twisted into a half-frown, as if he himself were confused.

"I've been advised by _several_ people to only give advice to that of the physical nature, Boss, Ojou-sama, and Naruto included, because quote: "I have the emotional density of a rock."

He stroked his chin with his gloved hand, "I don't quite understand the phrase. Rocks are quite dense, so wouldn't that be a good thing?"

'Yep. Only Naruto-kun could get away with mouthing off to a superior.'

I sighed, "Well, thanks anyway. I'll see you back at the base."

He nodded and returned to his meal. I gave one last, longing glance at the picture before I left.

'I wish I could have a photo like that too!'

* * *

After that, I went around campus, asking classmates, teachers, the janitor (who turned out to be a pretty nice guy, though suggestion-wise, came up empty).

"Huh?" Shu turned around in his chair to face me, "Oh, of course Seishirou-chan! I'd be glad to help!"

I sweatdropped at his enthusiasm. In retrospect, I really shouldn't have asked someone like him, but at the time, I was getting a bit desperate. So I did.

He pondered my situation for a moment.

"Hmm… debt you say…" he looked up, "You wouldn't happen to be talking about Naruto, would you?"

I blinked in surprise, "H-How did you know?"

He grinned widely, reminding me of an internet meme from about five years back.

"Well," he rubbed his hands together, "I have the perfect idea!"

I raised an eyebrow warily,

"...What exactly did you have in mind?"

His smile looked as if it'd tear his face in half, leaning over to whisper his plan.

"So before Naruto gets home tonight…" he started…

* * *

Roughly 2 Minutes Later...

* * *

"...And he finds you in his bed, wearing only whipped cream underwear!"

By the time he finished my face had perfectly replicated the likeness of a tomato.

"And then in a sultry voice you say: 'Oh, Naruto-sama'-"

(*BLAM BLAM BLAM*)

I fired round after round into the bastard's skull, his body falling from the chair, crimson liquid spilling from his forehead.

"Shit…" I growled, glancing down at the pistol, "Naruto replaced my weapons with paintball guns again…"

I stomped off, leaving his body strewn across the desk. Hopefully he wouldn't wake up for a while…

* * *

Bermuda Triangle

Outskirts of Rice Country

December 22

2:12 P.M.

(Kakashi)

* * *

"So it's true… I don't believe it…"

The clearing below was filled with White Zetsu, as well as several men and women in Akatsuki cloaks. The thing about the cloaked ones though…

The sclera of their eyes was black.

"Edo Tensei?" muttered Ox, "I thought the snake was dead!"

"Maybe so," spoke Boar, "But he lives on through 'Kabuto-maru', as Uzumaki says."

I scowled, "Yakushi was confirmed to have been killed during the war. My team saw it with their own eyes."

Gai furrowed his brow, "Regardless, we got what we came for. Now let's get the heck out of here!"

I frowned, "Gai, we have a golden opportunity here. We can cripple their forces and blow this place sky high!"

He shook his head, "Kakashi! Our parameters were to investigate and report back as soon as possible! And that's exactly what I intend to do!"

"Whoa…" Bird spoke warily, "Did you guys switch mindsets or something? Isn't the whole 'sticking to the mission' thing Kakashi's schtick?"

"I apologize for acting so hip," Gai said, causing a few of us to sweatdrop, "But Orochimaru's experiments were most unyouthful! They can cause even a youthful man such as myself to feel uneasy!"

"Riiight," Boar sighed, "As mission leader, I agree with Gai-san. Attacking is out of the question. We're heading back."

As he spoke, I caught a glimpse of something rather interesting.

Emerging from the cavern, staring up into the trees right at us… was…

'Obito...'

His face was scarred and his bare torso a bit disfigured and pale, but there was no doubt it was him. He had the same look in his eye as last time, and his lips were twisted into that cruel smirk.

His expression said one thing.

'Kakashi… I'm going to enjoy tearing you apart. You and the damned leaf.'

I was a bit tempted to run down there, Twin Raikiri blazing, but Boar gave the signal to leave. I gave him one last glance, before leaping back into the forest.

If I wasn't in such a rush, maybe I'd have noticed that his torso looked a little too pale.

* * *

Japan

Bonyari High

May 31, 2014

2:49 P.M.

(Tsugumi)

* * *

And so, I asked some of my female classmates.

Shiraishi Urara: "Well I wouldn't know. I'm rather inexperienced when it comes to romance."

Tsubasa Konno: "I dunno'... Take him out to a game or something?"

Meiko Otsuka: "Oh! U-Um… H-Have you p-perhaps... tried asking him what he wants?"

Shuu Maiko: "Like I said! Whipped cream undies and strawberries on your- (*BLAM*) -AUUGH!"

The first one wasn't much help, and neither was the second. The third wouldn't work, since I wanted to surprise him, and the fourth one… don't even get me started.

'Well that was a bust…' I sighed, 'Who else can I ask?'

Glancing to my right, I spotted Onodera-sama and Miyamoto-sama talking in the classroom. Maybe…

"What? You're indebted to someone Tsugumi-san!?"

Luckily for us, classes had already ended, and we were pretty much the only people in the room (and even still, any stragglers hanging about had headphones in, were sleeping, or simply didn't care), so Onodera's surprise didn't attract any attention.

"Ah, that's not a good place to be in right now Tsugumi-san…" Miyamoto said in that even tone of hers, "The national debt's reaching a critical point and unemployment shows no signs of abating, while severely declining birthrates-"

"I don't mean literal debt!" I quickly explained, cutting her off from a Claude-like explanation spiel, "I just want to pay someone back for what they did for me!"

"Oh...I see…"

The two seemed to ponder that for a moment.

"Well to start," began Onodera, "What exactly did they do for you? It'd help if we knew, so we could figure out something equally thoughtful."

I shook my head, "Sorry, I can't do that. If I told you, it'd be rather obvious as to who it is, and I'd like to keep what happened between the two of us."

Onodera frowned, "Well then I'm stumped. How about you Ruri-chan?"

"I don't have anything either," said the smaller girl, "But what I don't understand is why you're trying to keep this person a secret. It's Naruto-kun, right?"

I recoiled in astonishment at how easily I'd been found out, "H-How did you-?"

"Waa! Ruri-chan, you're amazing!"

Brushing off Onodera's praise, she continued, "Well, besides him and Chitoge-chan, you don't have many people that would do something so grand for you to such a degree where you'd feel indebted to them. And last I checked, neither Kosaki nor I have done anything for you of the sort."

"Now, if this person who's done so much for you turned out to be Ichijou-kun…" Miyamoto's face seemed to darken, as she cracked her knuckles, "...then that'd be a problem."

* * *

Elsewhere

* * *

(*BWA-CHYUUU!*)

Raku rubbed his nose on his sleeve irritably.

"Shit, am I still sick?" he grumbled, "Shoulda' known that 'Cold-Busting Porridge' of hers did jack…"

He then walked off to the vending machines to get some orange juice.

* * *

Bermuda Triangle

Konohagakure no Sato

Hokage Office

December 22

3:53 P.M.

(Kakashi)

* * *

Tsunade rubbed her temples, "...I see. So the greatest threat the Leaf has ever faced is not only alive, but also building an army of nigh unkillable zombie ninjas that were the greatest of their time, and our greatest weapon against them is currently on the other side of the planet, attending high school. Did I leave anything out?"

All of us shook our heads.

"I need a drink…" she muttered, "You're all dismissed. Meet here again tomorrow at 7 AM sharp. And Kakashi, try to roll out of bed before noon tomorrow? Yeah, thanks."

I sighed. Looks like I wasn't getting that vacation.

"Hokage-sama, if I may…" spoke Boar, "What is our plan of action? Without our Uzumaki here, we might as well be sitting ducks, and spearheading an assault on the enemy camp is suicide!"

"I know, I KNOW!" she roared, smashing a clenched fist into her desk, "...We'll… discuss this in the morning. Now get out."

Nobody argued, as we all piled out.

'Geez… Konoha can't seem to catch a break.'

* * *

Bonyari High

Garden

June 1, 2014

4:47 P.M.

(Chitoge)

* * *

"Haa… I'm so tired…"

I walked over to my distraught friend, currently fretting over her situation on a nearby bench. I glanced down at my hands, a drink already in each one; a coke and some green tea. Originally they were both for me.

Of course, she didn't need to know that.

"Tsugumi!"

The girl looked up as I jogged over.

"So what's up?" I asked, holding up the two drinks, "Find anything out?"

"Ojou…"

"Eeeh!? You've got nothing?!"

She nodded, "Nope. Nothing. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Mu. Amugeosdo. Shenme. Rien. Nichts. Niente. Aliquid-"

I frowned, "Yeah, nothing. I get it. You didn't have to say it in every language you know to get your point across."

(**TL Note: In order, those languages were English, Spanish, Japanese, Korean, Chinese, French, German, Italian, and Latin**)

"Alright, first of all, that wasn't even close to every language I know," she said, "I know over 10 more, among them Polish, Portuguese, Sign Language, Binary, Morse Code, Klingon-"

I sweatdropped, "Naruto taught you Klingon?"

She averted her gaze and flushed in embarrassment, "Y-Yeah. We were supposed to develop a language for coded messages, but Naruto got lazy and decided to rip off another one."

I giggled lightly. That was so him.

"Hey, it was better than his first suggestion of using various Ramen terms!"

Her half-hearted attempt fell upon deaf ears, as I only laughed harder. Soon enough, she joined me. We laughed for a good two minutes before we finally calmed down enough to form coherent sentences.

"Ahh…" I wiped the tears from my eyes, "But what…(*laughs*) was the… second thing?"

"The second… oh right! Right right…"

It took another 30 seconds or so for her to fully compose herself. "Fully compose" being a bit of a stretch, because her face was still red from laughing.

Upon hearing her next statement, I realized that her flushing had a completely different reason behind it.

"Whaa!? You want to know what couples do!?"

"I-It's not like that!" she cried indignantly, "It's just that… I don't have anything, and I'm kind of desperate here."

Seeing that she was kind of serious put a halt to whatever kind of teasing I'd planned on.

"Well, like I said earlier, try something simple. Stuff like dinner, a movie, or even just hanging out in general. That could be considered a date."

Her eyes widened, "A-A date? Is that...is that what this entails?"

I shrugged, "Pretty much, yeah."

I put on a thoughtful look, "You know, the whole gang's left for that business meeting thing; there's no one around. Why not use HQ?" I said, "It's a nice change of pace from your house, since you rarely spend the night anyway."

"Ooh, Seishirou-chan and Naruto! All alone in a great big house!"

We both turned to see Shuu walking by, hands in his pockets with his trademark grin.

(*BLAM BLAM BLAM*)

"SHUT UP YOU MORON!"

Seeing as these were actual bullets and not just paintballs, the blond fled for dear life.

I turned back to her, as she placed the pistol back where it came from.

"So, couple things?" I asked.

"Couple things."

* * *

Bonyari High

Halls: Outside Class 1-C

June 1, 2014

5:35 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

(*FMMM*)

"Oohp, sorry!"

After sliding the door open, I took a step back to let the two girls pass. Said girls offered me a small smile and a nod of thanks before walking off, presumably on their way home.

I stepped into the classroom, heading over to grab my bag.

"Hm? Kosaki, Ruri, you're still here?"

The two girls were grabbing their bags as well. The taller of the two looked the same as usual, but Ruri's hair was slightly damp.

"Yes, Kosaki just got off from her duties on the Student Government, and I just came from swimming practice," Miyamoto said, "What are you still doing here, Naruto? I figured you and Tsugumi would have gone home to pack for the open-air school tomorrow."

I patted my upper arm where, just above my ANBU tattoo, was a storage seal. "I'm already packed. I would've figured you two would've already left to do the same."

Ruri quirked an eyebrow, "Not all of us can open pocket dimensions in our arms with magic, Naruto."

"It's not magic, it's chakra. Chi-ya-ku-ra. Say it with me."

The girl rolled her eyes jokingly, as Kosaki giggled a bit.

"So the groups for tomorrow," I started, "We're with Tsubaki Konno and… Toranosuke Miyamura, right?"

Miyamoto nodded, "Tsubaki-chan is the captain of the girl's basketball team. Miyamura-kun is in the running against Nene Odagiri for the position of Student Council President."

A dark look crossed her face. "And he happens to be rather close with Maiko-kun."

I sweatdropped, as her statement delved into unintelligible muttering and curses.

(*FMMM*)

"Oh! Ruri-chan! Kosaki-chan! Hello!"

She sighed, as Shuu walked over. "Speak of the devil…"

I raised an eyebrow, "What's up? You look all out of breath."

"Oh, nothing…" he said with that odd '83' face of his, "I just came to grab my bag. Oh, and Naruto! Seishirou-chan was looking for you."

Oh. That made sense. It was time to head back, after all. But then I got a text:

"_Hey! Meet me back at HQ?_"

I pushed out the keyboard, and typed out: "_Y? Mission?_"

Not a second later, my phone buzzed again:

"_I'll explain when U get here._"

I frowned. It wasn't like Tsugumi to withhold information. I glanced over at Shuu.

"You know about this right?"

He nodded.

"Is it important?"

He shook his head.

"Should I be worried?"

"No. Quite the opposite in fact."

…

…

…

"You're not gonna' tell me, are you?"

"Nope."

I glared, the silly expression having never left his face for even a second.

"I hate you."

"I know."

* * *

Bermuda Triangle

Konohagakure no Sato

Kakashi's Apartment

December 22

5:39 P.M.

(Kakashi)

* * *

(*Haaaaaahhh…*)

Shirtless, I flopped down on my bed, exhaling audibly through my mask as my chest heaved up and down.

'Man, what a day...'

I lazed about for a few more minutes, before returning to business.

I wrote up a quick note, addressed to my only student on a mission abroad.

"_Naruto_," it read, "_I think it's about time we explained the true purpose of your mission_…"

The whole letter was rather long, and took up almost the entire scroll, detailing the circumstances and forces at play when we sent him overseas. Hopefully, he'd sympathize.

I rolled the whole thing up, sealing the opening. I walked over to my work desk, and placed the thing over a rather complex seal.

'**I, Inu, Tori, Saru, Tatsu, Ne, Hebi, Hitsuji**!'

"Yuso! (**TL: Transport!**)"

The seal flashed teal, before the scroll disappeared in a vortex of light.

See transport seals are kind of tricky. Two seals must be made, with the _**EXACT**_ same pattern. If even a single stroke was off, neither seal would work, best case scenario. Worst case, it'd explode.

...Seals tended to explode when done incorrectly.

This one in particular was linked to one we'd given Naruto, the one Iruka'd slipped into his headband. Technically, something like this was illegal (so of course, Tsunade didn't know), and he was meant to have been kept in the dark until we'd taken care of the threat. Of course, it turns out that said threat was much more daunting than we'd thought.

I sighed again. Now all that was left to do, was wait.

* * *

Japan

Bonyari City

BeeHive HQ

June 1, 2014

5:41 P.M.

(Tsugumi)

* * *

(*FWMM*)

(*PUAP*)

(*ZUUSH*)

I moved through the room like a hurricane, cleaning up, and tidying anything I could find. And by tidying, I meant taking random documents and shoving them into wherever they fit.

Naruto must be rubbing off on me.

(*FSS FSS*)

I sprayed and wiped down the flatscreen, ridding it of the layer of dust it'd accumulated through months of disuse.

I sighed, "Why did I agree to this again?"

* * *

About Half an Hour Ago

* * *

"A movie, huh?" I asked, "But like you said earlier, we do that all the time? So what'd make this any different?"

She shrugged, "That's the beauty of it. It doesn't have to be. You don't need to show this huge gesture of gratitude; I'm sure Naruto wouldn't want that. He's the kind of guy to help out and not expect anything in return."

I pointed at her, "And that's what makes it different. It's just something you do all the time; he'll have no choice but to accept it!"

"Wow…" I said in awe, "You're so much more knowledgeable about love than I, mistress!"

"I know!" she rubbed her nose in pride, "Rather impressive for someone who's never been in love before, ne?"

I frowned, "What are you talking about? You have a boyfriend! Ichijou Raku!"

"OH RIGHT! I just meant I had so little experience, that's all! Ahaha! Ahahaha!"

I gave a skeptical look before continuing. "And besides, he's not the first."

"You were in love, remember? Ten years ago!"

"Huh?"

"Have you forgotten?" I asked, "Well, I guess that's only natural…"

I watched in satisfaction at the flash of recognition passed over her face.

"OH! I remember now!"

"Haha!" I laughed, "Those were the days, right? You used to go charging out of the house each day to see him."

She sat in silence, trying desperately to remember.

"Um… do you remember anything about that boy? I can't recall his name or what he looked like…"

"I don't remember much about him either," I admitted, "But I remember how crazy you were about him. I remember being awed by your devotion to him."

"Sh-Shut up, will you? You're embarrassing me!"

After that, we walked home, me to clean up a bit before the movie, her to find her any trinkets or hints as to who that boy was.

* * *

Present

* * *

"Ah! That's right! I forgot to remind Ojou about the open-air school!"

I quickly shoved the papers into a nearby cupboard, and leapt out the window, scaling the wall.

And in my rush to leave, I'd missed the flash of light and puff of smoke coming from the cabinet.

* * *

BeeHive HQ

June 1, 2014

5:43 P.M.

(Chitoge)

* * *

"A… key? A key stuck between the pages of my diary? What's with that?"

I picked it up and examined it. It had a unique design, a crown-shaped bow, and a crescent-moon shape cut out on the end of the blade.

"I wonder… if it has anything to do with the promise? Or is that crazy?"

(*TOK TOK*)

"Ojou!"

"What is it? Is someone out there?"

I brushed aside the curtains and opened the window to reveal… Tsugumi. Upside-down, I might add.

"What're you doing?

"Mistress, is something wrong?" she asked, voice unwavering despite her position, "You've been in there since we got home, and you haven't eaten… I was worried."

"A-Ah! I forgot!"

I rubbed my chin in thought, "Hey, Tsugumi… Do you remember where I met the boy I had a crush on?"

"Hm? No, but I could probably find out. Why?"

"There's something I want to investigate," I said, "Let's go tomorrow. We'll use public transit."

"Wh-What? But what about school?"

"School?" I asked, confused, "Tomorrow's Saturday!"

She frowned, "But we have the class trip tomorrow!"

…

…

…

"WAAA! I completely forgot!" I immediately set out to pack.

I looked up from cramming clothes into a duffel bag.

"By the way, how're you dangling out there?"

"Oh! I'm hooking my toes on the window ledge."

"That's impressive."

* * *

BeeHive HQ

Common

June 1, 2014

5:54 P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

The second I stepped in, I realized something was wrong.

There was no bustling activity. No roughhousing, yelling, or celebratory gunfire. In fact, there _was_ nothing. The place was deserted.

'What the hell's going on here?'

"**The gang left on a big business trip yesterday, remember**?" spoke the demon in my mind, "**Supposedly to decide an agreement with The XX Company**. **The boss talked about it at the last briefing**."

'Meh, I wasn't really paying attention,' I thought back, 'Hey, wait. You _remember_ that?'

"**Not like I have anything better to do**," he said, "**Your life is better than cable**. **Not to mention, I have an eidetic memory**."

'Yeah, I guess you're right.'

It was true. It was how I was currently aceing every class. Thanks Dad, for sacrificing your soul to the god of death to shove a demon lord into my newborn-infant gullet! Means a lot.

'So I wonder what was so important that I had to meet her here, rather than the apartment. Our place is a lot closer to school.'

"**Ooh, I hope it's sex**."

'Shut up.'

"**Come on, don't act like you're not interested in her**," he said, "**Just imagine, you walking into the room to find her on your bed wearing only whipped cream and strawberries.**"

'Dude! Shut the hell up!'

"**Oh, would you rather it be ramen? I can imagine noodles all over her, broth in her belly-button, and fishcakes on her-**"

'Mute.'

The Kitsune's perverted ramblings were immediately shut off by the mental block I'd set up.

'Huh. I forgot I could do that.'

* * *

I finally arrived at the room, unsure of what to expect.

Regardless of what I expected, what I got was Tsugumi sitting on the bed in her nightie, using the remote to flip through channels.

She glanced my way, "Good, you're here. C'mon, get changed so we can get started."

I quirked an eyebrow, "Get _what_ started exactly?"

She made a gesture with the remote, "The movie. What're you thinking? Action? Adventure? Horror?"

"First of all, in order: sure, sure, and Hell no," I said, shivering at the mere mention of that particular genre, "Second, if it's just a movie, why couldn't we just do it at the apartment?"

She shrugged, "I dunno'. Take it as a change of pace. Here."

She tossed me a bundle. I realized they were my normal orange-blue-black pajamas, monster nightcap and all.

I shrugged, and began stripping.

(*BLAM*)

There was now a smoking round lodged in our door.

"Outside."

I grinned, and stepped out, closing the door.

* * *

BeeHive HQ

Naruto and Tsugumi's Room

? ? ?

? ? ?

(Naruto)

* * *

'Where… is this?'

Upon opening my eyes, they were greeted by a glaring light that pierced through the darkness. You probably know the feeling; it's absolute murder on your senses.

'This… isn't my bed...'

Finally, my eyes properly adjusted. I realized that the light was the early-morning sun peeking through the windows.

'Oh right… Tsugumi and I… we watched a movie together at the hideout...'

I frowned, 'Crap, we must've dozed off. And we've got the open-air school to get to.'

I tried to rise and stretch, only to find I couldn't.

I looked to my side to see Tsugumi, snuggled up against me, her head cradled in the little crevice between my shoulder and neck, fitting in like a piece of a puzzle.

Her eyes were shut, long lashes prominent. Her chest lightly rose and fell with each strawberry-scented breath, and a lock of her midnight hair dangled over her face. I brushed the bit of hair aside, as she shivered under the contact, pulling the blankets closer, wrapping them around us like a cocoon of warmth.

I considered moving… but decided against it, choosing to doze off again.

'I guess… I could stay like this for a little bit longer...'

* * *

**Done!**

**Ah, geez, I'm incredibly sorry about not updating! But school's gotten me super-busy, so I might be a bit more scarce until I'm properly adjusted.**

**And as for the promised girl, I'll explain it now. For those that don't want it to be spoiled, use your Control+F Find/Search button to skip to the next "MX0".**

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**- x - x - x -**

**Alright, for those of you who want to know… It's Ruri.**

**Yeah, I know right! But here's the evidence.**

**Remember when Adelt (Kirisaki's dad) talked to Raku at Chitoge's birthday party? He said "The young lady who came with you today!" was Raku's childhood friend. Ruri had also come with him that day, and it was never directly stated that it was Onodera; Raku just assumed.**

**Yui has also dropped several vague hints like: "Thank you for keeping the group together all these years."**

**And it's also consistent with when she said: "When you find out who the girl is, will you really be able to fall in love with her?"**

**That line rules out herself, Chitoge, Kosaki, and even Marika.**

**Also, notice the faceless girl from Raku's dream is short, with long dark hair, and eyes that are not blue. Those all fit Ruri.**

**When you see her with her glasses off and hair down, (like in the grandfather chapters, or when she loses them in chapter 58) it's easy to recognize.**

**Not to mention, out of the 'side characters' AKA, anybody whose names aren't Raku, Kosaki, Chitoge, Tsugumi, or Marika, she's had the most chapters dedicated to her. Now, this can simply be played off as Komi-sensei being generous and you know, not **_**ignoring**_** characters like most manga-ka do.**

**Also, something terrible will probably happen to Marika. Maybe death, or rehospitalization. There've been massive forms of foreshadowing towards it, like Honda telling her not to pull all-nighters, or her conversation with Mikage.**

**I dunno'. It seems like something Komi-sensei would pull.**

**Well, I'm done. See you guys at the end.**

**- x - x - x -**

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**Mx0**

**Ah, and we're done. Yes, Shiraishi Urara, Tsubaki Konno, Toranosuke Miyamura. and Meiko Otsuka are all references to the manga series **_**Yamada-kun and the Seven Witches**_**. If you haven't read it, please do so. I personally think it's brilliant.**

**And MX0 is a relatively unknown discontinued Shonen Jump series. It was pretty good, though the ending was abrupt, and dissatisfactory.**

******And here's a little something for you guys:**

* * *

**Omake #1: A Bit of Ad-vice...**

* * *

As I moved to walk away...

"What? You still haven't bought the Drama CD version?"

I paused and looked back at Claude, who was speaking in the exact same pose as before. But this time, his picture of the mistress was replaced with a small poster printed onto cardstock, with a little stand in the back.

"Are you serious?" he said, "I'm constantly listening to that Drama CD. When I go to sleep, when I wake, during missions..."

I raised an eyebrow, "...Uh-huh..."

He pushed his glasses up, "It can't be helped... I shall personally tell you all about it."

He reached into his jacket, whipping out a CD case.

"First of all! Mini clear posters drawn by Komi-sensei," he said, pulling said items out, "They're so gorgeous that I look at them during meals! I can eat three bowls of rice just from Ojou alone!"

I sweatdropped, but decided to play along, "Even... even during meals?"

"And as for the voice actors answering questions one by one..." he put the album away, "Go buy it immediately, and find out for yourself."

"_Riiiight_..." I said, "But Claude, can I ask just one thing?"

He seemed to ponder this before nodding, "Yes, go on."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

He blinked, "...Hm... What _was_ I talking about? This is odd..."

He straightened, "This may be the effect of a new form of technology designed to control another's mind! We must be ever vigilant, lest this happen again!"

"...Roger that."

* * *

******That omake was based off of one of the Nisekoi advertisements Komi-sensei did for the Drama CD that came bundled with the 9th volume of the manga. He used the panels (Koma) from the scene where Tsugumi asks Claude for advice, so I just decided to roll with it. Sorry if it's kinda' crappy though. I did this at like, 3 in the morning; I'm freakin' exhausted.**

**Hah, I'm tired. Next update comes out whenever I get time.**

'**Til Then!**

**- Objection234 (Akane Sasu Sora on YouTube)**


	7. Chapter 6: He Bought Too Many Games

**Ha. More scarce my ass.**

**Yeah, that's right! Ya' home-boy's back biatchez! Bizzoy!**

**...Remind me never to say that again.**

**Ah, Apollo Justice. Wocky Kitaki and his family were bloody great.**

**Anyway, have you guys read the newest Nisekoi chapter? It's 135, I believe. It's the weirdest thing, I hadn't even read the chapter before I'd started drafting Chapter 8 (yeah, I draft things WAY ahead of when they come out), and…**

**...Let's just say I love when things work out.**

**(**_**EDIT: While I was putting the finishing touches on this, Chapter 136 came out. I wonder how far Komi-sensei's going to take this new arc…**_**)**

**Yes, chapter 8 will be a kinda' filler-y chapter so I can take a break from the main plot. Because really, at the rate I'm going, I'll finish the entire damn series in less than a year.**

**So yeah, there'll be some spin-off original chapters, as well as completely original arcs with more fight scenes. Go nuts.**

**A note; this story will continue until the Nisekoi manga finishes. After which will be one final, completely original, badass, mother-fucking, over flowing with awesomeness, super-special awesome chocolatey fudge coated mega super arc!**

**YuGiOh Abridged reference aside, there's a new format. When it's just a change in perspective, I won't throw in all the dates, times, locations, etc. I'll only do that when it's necessary, like when the scene changes.**

**And I can't wait to write Marika! Or Haru! Or Mikage! Or Yui! Even Onodera's Mom! God, I love writing this!**

**Seriously though, Onodera's Mom is my favorite freaking character in the whole damn thing. She's awesome.**

**And here's the updated list of leitmotifs:**

NarutoXTsugumi: _Melancholic_ (Nano feat. Neko)

RakuXChitoge: _A Kiss With a Fist_ (Florence & the Machine)

RakuXKosaki: _Sooner_ (Andrew Allen)

RakuXMarika: _You For Me_ (Terra Naomi)

RakuXYui: _Geronimo_ (Sheppard)

RakuXHaru: _Guessing _(Against the Current)

ShuuXKyoko: _Love Lost_ (The Temper Trap)

ShuuXRuri: _Disgusting _(Kesha)

**AN: As for the chapter's title, it's the first part of the opening phrase to the gameplay video series "Steam Train". If you haven't watched the guys Grumping all over Steam, you're missing out!**

**Anyway, here's Chapter 6!**

* * *

Japan

Bonyari High

Courtyard

June 3, 2014

10:13 A.M.

(Raku)

* * *

"Yo, honey. Mornin'."

Kirisaki looked up, "O-Oh! Good morning…"

It was the day of the school field trip. A day where the entire freshman population piles on a bus headed straight for the Himoku Forest. The school had an agreement with the administrators of a nearby lodging site that every year, the freshmen would use their housing during their trip. There were campsites, outdoor BBQ, and even an outdoor hot spring.

"S-Say, Darling…" she fidgeted, "D-Do you happen to know what group I'm in?"

"Hm? Oh right, you were asleep when we assigned groups yesterday."

I shoved our bags into the large compartment in the side of the bus, "Alright, so we have…"

* * *

**1st Person - Tsubaki Konno:** "Hey, Ichijou! Scoot over, will ya'?"

**2nd Person - Chitoge Kirisaki:** "Sh-She's right, darling! Not that I don't like being near you, but…"

**3rd Person - Raku Ichijou:** "HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH!"

**4th Person - Kosaki Onodera:** "R-Ruri-chan! Quit pushing!"

**5th Person - Ruri Miyamoto:** "..."

I saw Shuu and Miyamura peeking over the backs of their seats, straight-up laughing at my situation.

Unfortunately, most of the other guys didn't share the sentiment. I'm sure that if looks could kill, I'd be seven feet under, twenty times over.

'You bastards planned this, didn't you!?'

* * *

(Naruto)

* * *

I yawned as Shuu and Toranosuke high-fived. Unfortunately, the former of the two managed to catch it.

**6th Person - Shuu Maiko:** "You seem tired, Naruto," he said, "Did Tsugumi keep you up last night?"

**7th Person - Naruto Uzumaki:** I deadpanned, "You do realize that if she were awake right now, she'd shoot you, right?"

**8th Person - Seishirou Tsugumi: **"(*Zzzzzzz*)"

**9th Person - Toranosuke Miyamura:** "Yeah, but she isn't," he said, flicking wax out of his ear, "Hey, you think she'll wake up if we grope her?"

"Yeah, definitely," I said, "Then she'll maul you like a rabid wolverine."

Most groups had only 6 or 7 members, yet we had a grand total of 9. Go figure.

"But seriously though…" Shuu said, "What'd you guys do last night? Did you take my advice?"

I quirked an eyebrow, "Whatever the two of us do behind closed doors is _our_ business."

He grinned widely, "I'll take that as a yes."

* * *

I leaned back in my chair.

'Huh. Who knew Shuu's advice could be so…'

"_**Not**_** perverted as fuck**?" offered Kurama, "**And here I thought I could get along with a mortal**."

'Hey, you get along pretty well with me.'

"**That's because it'd be inconvenient not to brat**," he grumbled, "**Don't forget that**."

'Aw, I know you love me, you old fuzzbutt.'

"**Love this**," he shot back.

…

…

…

"**I'm flipping you off right now, in case you can't see it**."

'Yeah, I figured.'

I was about to turn my attention back to Shuu and the others before I was forcefully pulled into my mindscape. I fell flat on my back into the grass.

"Gah, shit! What the hell, man!?"

"**Sorry**," the demon uttered, not sounding apologetic in the least, "**I forgot to tell you something rather important**."

I sat up, rubbing the back of my head, "Important enough to pull me in here?"

"**Well**,** it has to do with the possibility of failing your current mission**," he said nonchalantly, "**I'd consider that important**."

I stood up, acknowledging that he was being serious, "Alright. What've you got for me?"

He grinned, claw/hand scratching at the fur under his seal-collar, "**Well**, **after you muted me last night**, **I decided to go through some of your old memories**. **Specifically**, **those of your academy days**."

I frowned, "Really? Why the hell would you do that?"

"**Why do you humans watch movies**?" he shot back, without any real irritation behind it, "**Because you're bored and have nothing better to do than rot your brain watching something where you already know what'll happen**."

"...Fair enough," I shrugged, "You were saying?"

"**Right**. **Like I said**, **I skimmed through your academy days, and I found something rather interesting**."

"Interesting how?"

"**Well, for one, Kawamiri**," he said simply, "**When you swap two things of similar shape, there's no smoke cloud**."

"Hm. So you're saying my Substitution could be more discreet?"

"**Not only that**…" he continued, "**The cloud produced is laced with chakra. So, if you say, swap yourself with a log? Chakra is released, and you fail the mission**."

My jaw dropped, "Shit, are you serious!?" I ran my hands through my hair, "Sonuva…"

"**Oh, relax brat**," he grumbled, slapping his 9 Tails against the earth, "**You rarely used it during this mission, and the few times you did, you switched with an enemy**," he chuckled lightly, "**And the one time you didn't put your pants on right**."

I growled softly as the beast chuckled some more, "When are you guys gonna' let that go? It was one time, and people make mistakes, okay?"

"**Yeah, whatever brat**," his deep voice bellowed, "**Anyway, as long as you have the same vague shape, you're fine. But if say, you tried to switch a glass with a broken one, there'd be chakra vapor.**"

"...Good to know. Thanks," I said, calming down, "What else?"

"**Well, did you know you could force a henge on someone?**"

Hm. I hadn't.

"**It's a delicate process, and your scar-faced sensei didn't go into much detail, but the basic concept is channeling your chakra in a layer around them, and perform it that way.**"

"Wow… that's pretty damn useful."

"**Yeah, it is. But like I said, delicate process. You need to use a very small amount of chakra; just enough to coerce the person's chakra points into fueling the technique. Too much chakra, you'll give them chakra poisoning, too little, it won't work. It also works like a genjutsu; it can be dispelled by the expulsion of chakra from the subject's body**," he said, "**And as a genjutsu, you can't use it at the moment without failing your mission, so wait until afterward to start experimenting.**"

"Damn… I was kinda' looking forward to it."

"**...I suppose if you really wanted to, you could create a seal that would imitate the effects of the technique, but doing so requires prior first-hand knowledge in performing it. Again, I recommend waiting until this mission ends until you mess around with it, unless you want it to blow up or something.**"

"Alright… is that everything?"

"**Just a final reminder. Channelling chakra through a medium is fine, like chakra wires, kunai, or shuriken. Actual jutsu are off the table**."

"Got it. Thanks Kurama."

The beast nodded, as I stood up, preparing to leave the mindscape-

"Hey wait. Why're you being so helpful? Normally, you'd just let me fail the mission for shits and giggles."

He looked almost amused, "**Like I said, nothing better to do. Not to mention, if I did, you'd bitch about it for the rest of our miserable lives.**"

"...I'd put it a bit differently, but okay."

He gave a toothy grin, "**Not to mention, if you failed, you'd have to leave, and you'd never see that Seishirou girl again. And like I said, I'll be damned if the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi-no-mother-fucking-Kitsune dies a virgin.**"

"AWP!?"

I sputtered nonsense, while the fox dispelled me with a wave of his hand.

* * *

"So how was it? How far did you two go?"

Apparently Miyamura was the far blunter of the duo.

I sighed, getting back into focus, "Well, it was exactly what you'd think. We ended up sleeping together afterward."

Their eyes widened and jaws dropped.

…

…

…

Wordlessly, expressions unchanging, they both offered me a high-five and a fist bump.

"**Ah, you and your wording, brat,**" chuckled Kurama, "**Never ceases to amuse me**."

'Well, I'm glad to know you appreciate my sense of humor…' I thought back, dryly.

* * *

(Raku)

* * *

'O-Onodera… she's…'

Even my thoughts were incomprehensible at this point.

'Dammit! What do I do!? My heart's going a mile a minute! She's sitting right there! What if she can hear it!?'

As I thought that, her side pressed up against me, perfectly-sloped shoulder leading the charge. Flustered, I tried to lean away, only to be put in a less-than-comfortable position with Chitoge.

"H-Hey!" she whispered, "Scoot over, wouldja?"

Unfortunately, that position was about to get even less comfortable. The bus began to turn…

"Oops!" cried Miyamoto, "Darn that centrifugal force! Well, nothing we can do about it!"

"_Yikes_!"

"_Eep_!"

"Curve!"

"_AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!_"

I could just **feel** the jealousy rolling off the guys.

"I-I'm sorry, Ichijou-kun!"

"No! Nonononono, it's fine! Totally okay!"

"Oi! Darling! Get off me, wouldja!?"

She turned to face her longtime friend, face redder than a strawberry.

"Ruri-chan! What was that for?"

She said nothing, but grinned and winked. Shuu glanced back and did something similar with me, before the girl clocked him in the face with her shoe.

"Hey, Ichijou…" grumbled Konno, "Try not to lean so much next time?"

"S-Sorry...!"

"_Another Curve!_"

(*FWUMP*)

And I fell headfirst into her lap.

She glared, but said nothing.

"S-Sorry?"

She sighed, pushing me off, "Just be careful, alright?"

"_Another Curve!_"

(*WHUMP*)

Her eye twitched as I laughed nervously.

* * *

Himoku Forest

Campsites

2:17 P.M.

* * *

And so, about 40 curves later… we arrived.

'Geez… not like I didn't enjoy it, but…'

"So?" Shuu asked, grabbing his things, "How'd you enjoy the supreme drive I set up for you?"

I shrugged, "Overall, it was awesome," then I glared, "I still feel like slugging you."

I glanced over at Onodera, squeezing Miyamoto's nose for some reason as the shorter girl tried to put her shoe back on.

* * *

(Naruto)

* * *

"Okay, everyone, listen up!" called Kyoko, "Time to get into your groups—we're making curry at the camping area. The instructions are in your handouts. Have fun!"

"Haaaiii!" the class dispersed.

I saw Cross stiffen at the prospect of cooking with Chitoge and Kosaki.

"Onodera, Miyamoto, Miyamura, and Shuu! You three go and gather some wood!" he said, taking command, "Konno, you tend to the fire with Kirisaki. Tsugumi and Naruto, you're with me. Let's move people!"

We all nodded, and set off to do our assigned jobs. Cross had us start on the vegetables, while he went to help Chitoge.

"...Soo…" I started, moving on to the onions, "Shuu's idea for yesterday?"

As soon as the words left my mouth, her face lit up like a firecracker.

"W-What?"

"I'm surprised you didn't do more with it…" I shrugged, "Not that I didn't like it, of course, but I wouldn't object to you improving on it."

Impossibly, her face reddened further.

"Y-Y-You actually w-wanted to do that?"

I frowned, "Well yeah. Who wouldn't? I ended up staying up late anyway, might as well have made the most of it."

Alright, now her cheeks matched her eyes, and steam rolled from her ears.

"...Are you alright?" I asked, honestly confused, "You don't look well."

"I-I'm fine!" she said a bit forcefully, bringing her knife down on the onions.

"...Sure, whatever…" I shrugged, "I'm just saying, run stuff like that by me next time. Maybe it'd be better if we picked the movie _before_ I actually showed up? Not that I'm not one for winging it, but still."

She whipped around.

"Wait… you think… Shuu's idea…"

That blush turned into a look of rage.

(*FWAAAAM*)

"GAAAAAAGH!"

And with that, I flew across the campsite at literal breakneck speeds.

* * *

Campsite: Storage

Moments Earlier

(Raku)

* * *

I walked over to the food crates, and grabbed a basket for vegetables to pass along to Naruto and Tsugumi. Rolling up my sleeves, I glanced over at my 'girlfriend', giggling about… something or other. I don't know; girls are weird.

'Wow… Kirisaki sure seems happy,' I thought to myself, 'Of course, she always gets excited when she's around her friends. She's totally having a ball over there...'

She rubbed her hands and put them near the fire, testing its warmth, "Nice! The fire's nice and hot…"

'...Hey, wait. I still haven't thanked her for fixing the pendant, huh…?' I realized, 'It had to be her too; there's a new link on it that doesn't match the others. Damn, I must've lost it when the chain broke.'

I tapped my chin in thought, 'This seems to happen a lot… Maybe I should ask Shuu if he could get a stronger one. Or maybe Naruto; he seems to have all kinds of super-enhanced-by-chakra stuff...'

She grabbed a metal pot (with her bare hands, might I add), and began pouring boiling water into it.

'On the other hand… she doesn't seem to want to talk about it. Otherwise she would've said something,' I figured, 'So should I just let this go?'

She shut off the tap, still talking with a few of her classmates before walking off with the hot water.

"Yikes! HotHotHot!"

(*KPLSHHH*)

"ACK! What the hell?!"

"Oh, sorry! Are you okay?"

"No, of course not! You just dumped a gallon of boiling water on my head!"

I carefully peeled off my soaking shirt, checking for any possible burns. Fortunately, I found none, though the skin felt a bit tender…

"Watch what your doing next time! Geez'..." I ran my hand through my hair to get the water out.

(*PING*)

"Huh?"

Something caught my eye; something metal. At least, that's what it looked like anyway. It was golden, with an odd shape at the top and a protrusion at the end… a key?

There was something scratching at the back of my mind; had I seen this thing before? Nah, that was crazy. What were the odds of that?

It caught the light of the sun, almost like it was glaring at me, _daring_ me to remember. But what was there to remember? I'd never seen her wear it before…

(*KRSHH*)

We both looked over at the sound, where a set of legs were sticking out of the bushes. Eventually, the owner of said legs pushed himself out, nursing his jaw.

"Dammit that stings… good to know she hasn't lost her edge though," he muttered.

Chitoge frowned, "Naruto, what the hell are you doing? I thought you were with Tsugumi chopping vegetables?"

"Ah, this and that," he said simply, standing and brushing himself off, "Don't worry, I wasn't slacking off, if that's what you were worried about."

We both sweatdropped as he walked off, presumably back to his station.

* * *

Campsite: Woods

2:24 P.M.

(Ruri)

* * *

(*RSSL RSSL*)

"Yo."

I glanced over at the rustling leaves, where Miyamura emerged.

I sighed, annoyed. Frankly, at the moment I was a bit too tired to deal with their behavior right now. Nevertheless, I responded, "What do you want, Miyamura?"

"Ooh, straight to the point," he said, hands in pockets, "I like it."

I growled, as he looked to Kosaki,"Hey, do you mind helping out Shuu over there? Make sure he stays out of earshot too; I need to talk to her in private."

I raised an eyebrow, "If you think I'm letting Kosaki anywhere near that guy, you're crazy."

He shrugged, "Fine, she can stay; it's your choice. If you want her here for this, I won't stop you."

I glared, "What. Do. You. Want?"

"When do you plan on making your move?"

I paused, looking up from my current task, "...I beg your pardon?"

"You know. Your move on Shuu," he said, flicking some wax out of his ear, "You like him, don't you?"

I visibly recoiled, as Kosaki dropped her firewood in surprise.

"EEEEHH!? Ruri-chan, you _like_ Maiko-kun!?"

"I-I most certainly do _**not**_!"

I clenched my fist, scowling at the boy. "And what ever gave you the idea that I did?"

"Well, you both are constantly pushing for your best friends to get together," he listed. "You're both obligatory megane characters, and you interact quite a bit, usually ending with you slugging him across the face," he said, "These are all the usual conditions for a blossoming relationship. That last one especially; classic Tsundere on your part."

"...Classic _what_?"

"Never mind. The point is, don't you think it's a bit hypocritical of you to push Kosaki here to make a move when you yourself don't?"

"...I'm not even going to dignify that with a response. In fact, I'm trying very hard right now not to slug _you_ across the face," I growled, "Secondly, in what _universe_ is my punching him the 'usual conditions of a blossoming relationship'?"

"In most of them," he said simply, "Geez', haven't you ever seen ToraDora?"

"Can't say I have," I muttered, "Look, if you're going to stand there spewing conjecture all day, you're wasting your time. There's no way I could ever like a beast like him."

"Whatever. Your loss, I guess," he shrugged, walking away, "I'll see you all at the campsite."

…

…

…

"...So is it true, Ruri-chan? Do you really like him that way?"

I scoffed, "Not in a million years. The day that happens, aliens will arrive, the dead will rise from their graves, and you'll finally confess to Ichijou."

"H-Hey! Ruri-chaaann~!"

* * *

(Miyamura)

* * *

"You didn't have to do that, you know."

I glanced up at Shuu, looking over at me with that odd face of his.

"You heard?"

"How could I not? You were pretty loud, and like my uncle always says, 'Keep your ear to the ground at all times.'"

I quirked a brow, "Is this the uncle who moved back to America? The one who taught you how to develop a network?"

"That's the one," he said, "Anyway, don't bother. I've set my sights on someone else. Someone with natural beauty… like a flower at the top of a mountain… _just_ out of my reach…"

"...Right… whatever that means…" I murmured that last part to myself.

"Besides…" he said, walking out of the clearing, "I've given up on her. She's the flower _beyond_ that flower. She's too good for me."

I sighed, "...Bullshit…"

* * *

Himoku Lodging: Room

3:02 P.M.

(Raku)

* * *

"Wooww~! So this is where we're staying?"

And so, after a meal of delicious curry and rice (courtesy of Naruto, Tsugumi, and I), the group made its way over to our room. There was a divider between the bedroom and the living area; the girls would probably take the former, leaving us guys stuck with the latter.

"This place is really nice! The school really went all out on this one!" he gushed, "I can't believe the girls will be sleeping on the other side of this skimpy partition! I'm so glad I picked this school!"

I reached into my pack, pulling out my things, "Well, at least you're honest…"

"Alright Maiko-kun," Miyamoto spoke, "Would you rather sleep on the veranda or in the hall?"

"Eh!? I can't sleep inside!?"

'Wow… We're sharing a suite with the girls. Makes me kinda nervous...'

I said nothing as the girls discussed their plans to visit the hot springs later. Instead, I began to unpack.

Meanwhile, Miyamoto dumped all her stuff out onto the dresser. A knife, mace, a net, grenades, duct tape, tazer, mouse trap, rope, grenades, a bow an arrow…

"R-Ruri-chan, what's all this for?"

"Fighting off perverts," she said simply. We all sweatdropped.

'Hmm… I thought Kirisaki was acting weird earlier… more klutzy than usual, perhaps?' I thought, 'Nah… must be my imagination.'

"Oookay, so now what? We have some free time… Wanna' play cards?" Shuu asked, "Let's make it interesting— the loser suffers a penalty!"

Miyamoto narrowed her eyes, already suspicious, "Penalty...how exactly?"

"The loser has to reveal her three siz—"

In a flash, she was at his side, hand on his shoulder, exuding an aura that promised death should he continue.

"S-Sorry. That was a joke," he said calmly, "How about the color of her underwe—"

(*BLAAM*)

"What she thinks are her sexual poi—"

(*WHAAMM*)

"Where she washes first in the showe—"

(*BAKRAAAMM*)

Beside me, Miyamura gave his friend a look. Of course, I didn't think much of it at the time, but later, I'd learned what it meant:

"Pushing her away isn't going to fix anything."

* * *

? ? ? P.M.

(Naruto)

* * *

And so here I was, playing a game of 'Old Maid' to decide who would end up spilling the beans on their first crush. Of course, that story in particular was something I'd like to take to my grave.

So, I decided to cheat. A lot. By making use of Kurama's advice and Kawamiri'ing the shit out everything. So, whenever I got a joker, and Tsubaki reached for a card, I'd slip it to her.

...What? Not like I was alone in cheating. I saw Shuu slide a couple cards down his sleeves when he thought no one was looking, and I saw Tsugumi making use of a few of Johnson's special brand of sleight-of-hand tricks. It was clear that nobody in particular wanted to divulge that particular tidbit of information.

...Which made it all the better as one by one we were eliminated. The only two left were:

"H-Here I come darling!"

He nodded, "Go for it."

Everyone's favorite couple…

The final play; it was so close… the loser was—!

"HEEEY!" the doors flew open to reveal Kyoko, "You're all super late! Dinner started half an hour ago! Hurry up and get downstairs!"

"Ah shit! C'mon Raku!"

"Oh, right!"

As the others vacated the room, I caught Raku glancing at his card before tossing it over his shoulder.

"You're lucky…" he said, revealing that she'd taken the joker.

* * *

Himoku Lodging: Halls

7:45 P.M.

(Raku)

* * *

"So should we hit the hot spring?"

I looked to Shuu, who'd just spoken, "I hope you're not planning on peeping. Kirisaki, Tsugumi, Miyamoto… they'll gouge your eyes out if they find you."

"Oh please! I think I have a _little_ more class than _that_..." he said, with that '83' expression, "Besides, girls and boys are scheduled to use the baths at different times...for now."

"Hey, Ichijou!" Kyoko peered from around the corner, "You have a call down at the front desk!"

"A call huh?" Shuu said, "Well, I'll see you later then! I'm going on ahead!"

Naruto reached into his pocket, for his wallet, "I'll head down with you then. They've got vending machines in the lobby, right?"

I nodded, as we walked down the stairs.

'A phone call? Who could it be?' I wondered, 'Maybe it's just Ryuu and the guys wanting to check up on me...'

* * *

(*KCHAK*)

I saw Naruto walk up, a Coke in his hand, as he tossed me some tea. "So what's up? Who was it?"

"There was no one there. Strange…"

He shrugged, "Maybe it was just a mix up. Come on, let's get moving; the others are probably waiting."

We pushed past the curtain to the boys' changing room.

* * *

Himoku Lodging: Hot Spring

7:52 P.M.

* * *

"Ah crap. Looks like we're the last ones," I muttered.

A couple meters away, Naruto shook his head. "No, we're not. It's weird; I can sense their presences right now, like they're really close, but I don't see any of 'em…"

"Maybe they're hiding out on the far side, waiting to scare us or something. Wouldn't put it past them," I said, stretching out, "But there's really nothing like soaking in a hot spring. The water's nice and steamy; it's like heaven!"

"You kidding? That all-you-can-eat ramen buffet this place has, now _that's_ **heaven**!" he said, shaking water out of his hair, "I'm heading back for fifths later; wanna' come?"

I raised an eyebrow, "No thanks. After this, I'm hitting the sack. Today was just one damn thing after another; I'm _way_ too tired to put up with any more crazy shit…"

"YAHOOO!"

(*KA-SPLOOSH*)

Our conversation was cut short, as someone jumped right into it. Literally. There was a tremendous splash as they dived right into the water.

"Hey! What's the big idea?!" I shouted, "Swimming's not allowed in the hot spring!"

"Oops! I'm sorr—!"

"Huh?"

"Eh?"

Standing there, in all her naked glory… was Chitoge.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

"WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE!?"

"WHAT ARE _YOU_ DOING HERE?! This is the men's bath!"

(*KLONK*)

She brought up a wooden bucket and bashed me over the head with it as we argued.

"This is the women's bath, you idiot! (*KLONK*)"

"D-Don't be ridiculous! (*KLONK*) GAH! W-We saw the curtain on the way in!"

"Eh? 'We'...?"

It was then she finally took notice of her bodyguard, standing in the steamy water fully nude.

Her face flushed redder than her ribbon, "Na...N-N-Naruto! What's going on here!?"

He put a hand over his face, and tossed her a towel, allowing her to preserve her modesty...somewhat. "That's what I'd like to know. The curtain at the entrance said this was the men's bath."

"!... I think I get it now," she said lowly, "This is Claude's doing."

"W-What!? Megane's here!?" I cried.

"...Wait," I realized, "Why did you believe Naruto and not me?"

She glared, "Unlike you, I actually _trust_ him. He's not a pervy mutt like you!"

"H-Hey! Who're you calling perverted! That's Shuu's thing!" I roared indignantly, "And Naruto and I are in the exact same situation here! Why am _I_ perverted and he's not!?"

"EEK!"

She threw the bucket at me, "Don't look this way! I'll fucking murder you!"

"Ack! Sorry!" I moved to stand, "C'mon Naruto, let's get going! Before the other girls get here!"

"Yeah! Right!"

(*SHFF*)

"Wooow! This place is huge!"

"!"

And at that moment…

...I knew I was fucked.

* * *

(Chitoge)

* * *

(*KRSPLRRSH!*)

I shoved Raku's head under my foot, keeping him out of view, as Kosaki and the others made their way in.

"Oh, Chitoge-chan! You're in the water already? That was quick!"

"Umm… yeah! I just couldn't resist! Hehe…"

The brown-haired girl looked around, "...Wasn't there someone else here just now? I thought I saw someone…"

"Ahah….well, um…"

'Ah! That's right! Where'd Naruto...go?"

(*SPLLSH*)

A busty red-haired woman walked out from behind a nearby rock, crossing her arms.

"What? Are you just gonna' stare at me all night?" she asked, "Or are we gonna' get Cross the fuck outta' dodge?"

"N-Naru—mmph!?"

She put her hand over my mouth, "Not so loud! Tsugumi might hear!" her face fell, "And she'd flippin' kill me…"

I pulled her hand away, "Alright, alright, I got it, geez'... How are you even doing that?"

She struck a pose, left hand on her jutted hip, other on her neck as she winked. "It's an old technique of mine for combatting perverts. I call it the 'Ninja Centerfold', or the 'Sexy Jutsu'."

I frowned, "A technique? So it's an illusion?"

"Well, no. The one I based it off of was fake yeah, but this is a legit shapeshift."

(*BOI-YOING*)

I felt her ample bosom, "Wow… This is pretty convincing actually."

She swatted my hand away. "You can fondle all you want later," she said, making me blush upon remembering who exactly it was, "Right now, we need to get Cross— hey, is he okay down there?"

I looked down at him, where bubbles were starting to form, "Oh, crap!"

I put the bucket down on the water, allowing him to finally resurface.

"Sweet Jesus you two!" he grumbled, "I almost died!"

"And you'll probably suffer a fate worse than death if you don't get out of here," Naruto shot back, "I can't send you over the wall; Tsugumi will definitely catch it. You're gonna' have to find another way through."

"Hey!" called Kosaki, "Who's that with you? And what're you whispering about!"

"O-Oh! Everyone, this is—"

"Kushina."

"—Kushina!"

* * *

(Naruto/Kushina)

* * *

"**Are you serious, brat?**" the demon growled, "**Of all the fucking people to transform into, you chose **_**her**_**?**"

'Hey, in my defense,' I thought back in her voice, "Tsugumi's seen most of the girls I know already, through pictures, henge, or whatever. This was one of the only one's she doesn't know; it was either this, Tsunade (oh, hell no.), Shizune-nee-chan, or..._her_…'

"**As much as I find it amusing that you find it more acceptable to turn into your mother rather than your ex-girlfriend…**" he muttered. "**This form brings back plenty of bad memories for me. I was stuck in her body for almost 30 years, you know. Just hearing her voice again…**" he shivered.

'Not like I'm particularly happy with the situation either, Kurama…' I grumbled, 'And besides, I only copied her face and hair. The rest of it's just normal 'Naruko'."

"**Still fucking weird**," he muttered, "**Though in retrospect, she was fairly attractive, at least by human standards.**"

'...Did you just call my mother hot?'

"**Oh sure, and **_**that's**_** disturbing to you.**"

* * *

I saw the bucket beginning to move. I see… so Cross was going for the service entrance.

"Hey," I whispered to Chitoge, "I'm gonna' go cover him. Keep the girls occupied!"

She nodded waving them over, "H-Hey! Look up there! A tanuki!"

(*fsssh*)

He began to rise out of the water…

(*FWWP*)

"Well, well! This place is actually pretty big!" came a familiar voice.

"_Whoa, sensei! Nice curves!_"

"_Heheh… wanna' cop a feel?_"

'Shit...' I swore, 'He's really in for it now, isn't he...'

"**Hey, why not Hiraishin**?" asked Kurama.

'I didn't set up any seals around here yet...' I cursed myself, 'And if I throw any kunai, Tsugumi'll catch me for sure!'

I watched as Cross' pail moved to the back of the bath; seemed like he was gonna' wait it out. I made sure to stick with him, keeping him out of sight.

"Hm? What's this, Tsugumi?" said Kyoko, "For someone who always dresses like a boy, you've got a damn fine body!"

"H-Huh?"

The girls began to crowd her:

"_Ooh, can I feel?_"

"_Your bust is huge!_"

"_How do you keep your skin so smooth?!_"

I heard a small noise from within my mind.

'Huh. I didn't know Bijuu could get nosebleeds.'

"**Shut it, brat**," he grunted, "**Not my fault your mate is such a bombshell**."

'M-Mate?!'

Suddenly, my danger senses kicked me into gear. I brought my hand up and caught a flying shampoo bottle.

"Yikes… be careful where you throw these things!" I said.

Across the water, I saw Tsugumi, standing up straight from her earlier throwing position.

"That was a nice catch…" she said, "Who were you again?"

"K-Kushina! Kushina Namikaze!"

'Ah crap…' I thought worriedly, 'Shouldn't have caught that… Now she's suspicious!'

She waded through the bath, making her way over. Meanwhile, I was actually doing a great job keeping my eyes above the shoulders.

"**DAMMIT NARUTO**!" the kitsune roared, "**Look down at least! You can get away with it this time, and I'll make sure to burn it into your mind! Eidetic memory, remember!**"

'No use buddy...' I thought back, 'I think I'm busted anyway...'

She finally reached me, leaning over to my ear and whispering:

"Naruto… what the hell are you doing?"

I looked at her seriously, "There is a completely logical explanation for why I'm here."

She blinked, and sighed. "...Fine, I believe you. But you owe me a full explanation later."

She walked back toward the others, before turning back and hissed:

"And nothing perverted! Or I swear to god, I won't cook you ramen for a month!"

I did a small salute, "Message received."

She nodded and walked back.

"Geez'..." I heard Cross say behind me, "Why do they all trust you so much?"

I shrugged, "I dunno', maybe they've just known me longer."

My eyes began to make their way down at Tsugumi's retreating back, "Now c'mon. Let's find a way out of this mess."

* * *

(Tsugumi)

* * *

'Honestly...that guy...' I shook my head, 'I've known him for the longest time, and I still have no idea what goes on in that head of his.'

At the moment, the girls were pressing him about who s/he was, what s/he did for a living, and what s/he did to get a bust so large. And she was actually doing a great job of not letting her eyes stray; he didn't even look down once. That probably took quite a bit of discipline.

Meanwhile, their attention turned to Ojou:

"So tell us Kirisaki… how far have you gone with Ichijou?"

"EH!? H-How far? What do you mean?"

"_You know what we mean!_"

"_We all know you've been dating for a while now…_"

"_So… you should've done quite a bit by now~!_"

I was about to step in and stop them from pestering her, when:

"Hey! What about Tsugumi! How far'd you go with _your_ boyfriend?"

Cue two simultaneous spit-takes from Kushina and I.

"Wh-What!?"

Kushina looked to me, "S-So, you have a boyfriend, Tsugumi-san? What's he like?"

I glowered at her, "I do _not_. He's just my roommate."

At that, she straightened, realizing that the girls were referring to her.

...Damn, he's slow.

* * *

(Naruto/Kushina)

* * *

While the girls were going on and on about who knows what, I was channeling chakra into the water. Doing so allowed me to sense every little detail of the small displacements in the water, from the positions of the rocks, to the girls' bodies (something Kurama would probably never let me forget).

Finding what I was looking for, I made a small pointing motion behind my back to Cross, who evidently caught it. His bucket began to move again; I'd found a hole in the wall below the surface, probably there to let the water flow freely between the two baths.

Meanwhile, Tsugumi was desperate to divert their attention, "E-Enough about us! I wonder what kind of guy Onodera's crushing on!"

The pail stopped moving.

'God dammit Cross!' I mentally growled, 'This is not the fucking time to troll for gossip!'

And so, Kosaki ran across the bath, stopping…

...right in front of the hole.

I facepalmed, 'Welp… That plan's fucked.'

"**Hey, at least he gets some enjoyment out of it**," muttered the kitsune, "**Unlike you. You're such a prude.**"

I raised a mental eyebrow, 'So I'm a prude for not shamelessly perving on women?'

"**Come onnnn…**" he whined like a child, "**Just one little peek! It couldn't hurt!**"

'Yes it could! Physically!' I thought, referring to Tsugumi or Miyamoto, 'And that thing about Cross? Kinda' gross, by the way.'

He shrugged… or rather, a fox's equivalent to it, "**I'm just saying, if he walked into a wall right now, he wouldn't break his nose. Catch my drift?**"

'You're a moron.'

"**Says the moron**."

'Shut up.'

As that was going on, Chitoge moved to pull Kosaki out of the way…

...only for her to fall on him.

"Eh? I think I felt on something soft…"

"P-Probably your imagination! Here, c'mo— WAAH!"

Then _she_ slipped and fell…

...right onto Cross' ass.

'Well, if this isn't prime blackmail material, I don't know what is.'

* * *

(*BLSSH*)

"R-Raku?" I heard Shuu say, "What the hell were you doing?"

"J-Just a bit of underwater swimming…"

I breathed a sigh of relief. Time to get going…

"Well…" I stretched out, "It's been fun ladies! But, I've gotta' hit the hay. My bus is heading out first thing tomorrow."

"_Ah, bye Kushina-san!_"

"_Have a safe trip!_"

"Wait!" Tsugumi called, wading over, "I'll walk down with you."

"_Noo~…_" spoke one of the girls, "_Stay with us a bit longer, Seishirou-chan!_"

She grabbed her by the leg, a couple others following suit.

"A-Ah! What are you— EEP!"

Her balance shot by the new weight, she tripped forward…

(*KPLLSH!*)

...right on top of me.

We lay there for a few seconds, minds still reeling, unable to comprehend what had just happened.

She stood up, grabbing a towel, "C-Come on. We're leaving."

"O-Oh! Right…"

Nobody decided to mention the momentary lip-lock we'd shared.

* * *

**Yeah, yeah, I'm an asshole.**

**Least I didn't kiss one! OOHH SNAP!**

**In all seriousness, update rate will be a bit slower than it was during the summer. Thought I'd let you all know.**

**So yeah, during the chapter I developed Miyamura and Tsubaki a bit, Raku got to see exactly **_**how**_** developed Kosaki was, Shuu and Ruri's story has been kickstarted by Miyamura, and Naruto and Tsugumi get some yuri time. Joy to the world.**

**Sorry if that Kushina bit made anyone feel uncomfortable. I have a couple buddies who wanted to see her in the fic.**

**...And 'see her' they did.**

**It was actually pretty hard (no pun intended) to write this chapter without feeling like a fucking pervert, but hey, I got through it (pun intended). I tried to keep it as 'T' as possible, but since it's Nisekoi...**

**Ah, whatever. I'll see you all before September is out, okay?**

'**Til Then!**

**-Objection234 (Akane Sasu Sora on YouTube)**


	8. Chapter 7: The Try-Force of Courage

**Alright, so I have a bit of a problem.**

**This chapter is short. WAAAAY short. Too short to ride most of the roller coasters at a Great America amusement park. Too short to be used to measure the height of Taiga Aisaka. Too short to satisfy your girlfriend.**

**Wow, I turn into an asshole past 1 A.M.**

**Anyway, yeah, the chapter's really short. There's not much in it besides the aftermath of Chapter 6, and even then, with Naruto, Tsugumi, Chitoge, and Raku being stubborn as they are, they probably wouldn't even address it unless they absolutely had to.**

**As a result, this chapter pretty much adheres to canon completely, with a few small tweaks.**

**As to why I didn't just skip it, I've decided to avoid doing that. I caught quite a bit of flak for skipping material between chapters 2 and 3.**

**But to make up for this tremendous lack of content, at the end I've included some of the character profiles Naruto had to write for Claude. So not only do you get the lowdown on what's what, you get a brief look into Naruto's mind, and what he thinks of his friends.**

**Sorry if you don't think this is a fair trade of content, but it's the best I can do for you at the moment. Next chapter though, we get a ton more character development for everybody before we move back to the main story.**

**Oh, here's something interesting. As of recently, I've had some people commend me on my writing style.**

**But of course, me, being the asshole I am, decided to not just take the compliment. So now, I'm going to explain to you why my writing style is good as it is (wow, I feel like a pretentious douche typing this), despite it being so amateurish in nature.**

**Jokers. Wild Cards. I got them in spades. (Semi-successful pun intended) Basically, a joker is something that is introduced, but either not explained, or if so, is done ****very**** vaguely. Jokers are great when you're currently undecided on a certain story element; it's a compromise, kind of. You **_**do**_** introduce it, but some details are still "up in the air" as it were, ready for you to "plug-in" new info whenever it becomes relevant again, or when it's convenient.**

**For example, in this story, my Jokers so far have been: the incident between Naruto and Sakura, the ring, Naruto's ex-girlfriend, the bet between Naruto and Tsugumi, and the paper Iruka gave Naruto.**

**In the time since I've introduced these things, I've decided their functions and purpose in the story. So far, only the paper (which turned out to be a transport seal) has been "plugged", and been reintroduced as relevant. The others, I don't plan to address just yet, though I **_**have**_** decided on exactly what they are, and what they're meant to do.**

**I've actually derived this style from Komi-sensei. While he ****does**** introduce certain things, he never ****fully**** explains them, setting up for future chapters (lest, he forget about them or something). Such examples of his Jokers being:**

"**Jessica": Tsugumi and Paula's Senpai who lived with them at one point and said that 'Every man is a slave to boobs', Fuu-chan's real name, the shape of Yui's key, the item locked within the pendant, the object rattling inside the keyhole that broke Chitoge's key, Marika's illness, the favor Mikage asked of Honda before she left, the 'secret' Marika was hiding, and of course, the promised girl. And that's not even half of them; I didn't include super-vague introductions, explanations, or recollections.**

**Sure, for the promised girl, we don't know much about her. She doesn't have blue eyes, she's around Raku's age, and is portrayed with dark, long hair. Anything else is still unknown, though it has been heavily implied that Onodera's Key will be the one to open the pendant. In fact, my entire "Promised Girl" theory from a few chapters ago is based on the possible "plugs" for these Jokers.**

**But why am I telling you this? Well, it's simple. Yes, I plan to put in a little fun fact at the beginning of every chapter from now on (though most will be **_**much**_** shorter than this one), but that's not all.**

**Over the course of this story, I intend to address each and every one of these Jokers.**

**Of course, if, at the time, the Joker has no plug, I'll plug it myself. And if, as I write, that Joker becomes plugged in the manga, I ****will not change**** my fic, lest it be something **_**completely**_** game-changing.**

**Speaking of Komi-sensei, it really pisses me off with what he did to Yui.**

**He introduced her Chapter 115 or so, giving us small bits and pieces as to her character and her role; all we knew was that she was Raku's childhood friend, and that, despite her kind and friendly personality, she'd united the Char Siu group within a **_**year**_**.**

**From this, Yui seems like some kind of secret badass with no flaws.**

**And then, there were a bunch of mini-arcs afterward, leading us to believe that this was all the development she was going to receive.**

**But then, almost simultaneously, he shows us that Yui is in fact human, despite the fact that he had previously led us to believe that she was ****perfect****, and couldn't make mistakes. He also reveals that Yui did **_**not**_** bring the Char Siu together by being a badass; quite the opposite in fact. An action that, while a funny (albeit overused) joke, has caused me to lose quite a bit of respect for both Yui **_**and**_** Komi-sensei.**

**Also, big news. Nisekoi won't be getting a dub; only subbed release.**

**But no need to worry, Aniplex! Josh S. and I will do your job for you! Free of charge! ...Though I wouldn't object to you paying us.**

**Aaaaanyway, if you haven't already, audition for Josh S.'s Nisekoi Fandub on YouTube! Female auditions end September 18 (with the exception of Marika), and Male ones end October 10 (Naruto's Birthday!).**

**And just for fun, if Nisekoi ever **_**did**_** get a dub, here's who I'd want to voice the characters:**

**Full List Still in Progress**

_Raku Ichijou: _Erik Scott Kimerer

_Chitoge Kirisaki:_ Cherami Leigh

_Kosaki Onodera:_ Brittney Karbowski

_Shuu Maiko:_ Sam Riegel

_Ruri Miyamoto:_ Jessica Boone

_Seishirou Tsugumi: _Caitlin Glass (or Colleen Clinkenbeard)

_Haru Onodera:_ Cassandra Lee

_Paula Mccoy:_ Laura Bailey

_Fuu: _Monica Rial

_Mikage Shinohara: _Wendee Lee

_Ryuu:_ Christopher Sabat

_Aiba Migisuke:_ Johnny Young Bosch (or Todd Haberkorn?)

_Honda:_ Elizabeth Bunch

**And since the only prerequisite for Yui's voice actor being that they can't sing, I'd nominate any of the singers over at TYERecords.**

**OOOOHHH SNAAPP!**

**Seriously guys, who cares if you have ridiculously high update rates if you can't sing for shit? And I usually hate hating, but sweet cheezus, it's murder on my ears to hear you butcher all the songs I love.**

**(*Sighs*) Alright, rant over. Time for Chapter 7!**

* * *

Himoku Lodging

Cafeteria

June 4, 2014

10:03 A.M.

(Raku)

* * *

"Oh!"

It was morning: breakfast time to be exact. I'd loaded up my tray (with _American_ food!) and been heading over to the table with the others when I bumped into…

"…Kirisaki…" I began, "Um… about last night—"

"Ohayou, darling," she cut me off, "Make sure to get plenty of food; we have that hike later."

"H-Huh?"

With that, she walked past me, over to the girls. Stunned, I walked over to our table, setting down my tray with a small clatter.

"Hey guys," I offered, before saying a quick prayer and digging in.

The pervy duo nodded, Naruto giving me a small salute with his chopsticks.

"So… Did you and Chitoge '_kiss and make up_'?" he asked, making air quotes, saying the last bit in English.

Shuu and Miyamura looked confused, not understanding the language.

"Depends," I grumbled, "Did you and Tsugumi? Because I know exactly how that first one went down."

He grunted, "...Touche."

"Wellllll, interrupting your little secretive talk…" Shuu started, "Didja' hear about what's happening tonight?"

I raised an eyebrow, "No, what?"

"After we get back from the hike," Miyamura continued for him, "...there's a test of courage they do every year."

"A test of courage, huh?" muttered Naruto, "What's that supposed to be?"

"Basically, it's a haunted house... 'Cept instead of a house, you have the entire woods," said Miyamura, swallowing the food in his mouth.

"And this is no ordinary haunted forest deal!" said Shuu, "It's boy-girl pairs. We draw numbers to pair up. And the best part of all…"

He stood up on the table, "YOU HAVE TO HOLD HANDS WITH YOUR PARTNER!"

Everybody looked over at the source of the noise as the room stopped bustling. Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly, while Miyamura slurped his juice box with a bored expression, as if nothing had happened. I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed, as he got off the table.

"Nothing to see here guys!" he said, "Just move along."

Slowly, the noise began to pick up again, the main topics of conversation being the crazy, perverted megane, the wimp Ichijou with the super-model girlfriend (I twitched a bit), the presidential-candidate Miyamura, and as to why someone as popular as Uzumaki hung out with them.

Said Uzumaki exhaled audibly, "Dude, you really need to control your outbursts."

He shrugged his shoulders, "Meh. Ooh, hey, Raku! If I get Onodera's number, how much'll you pay to trade with me?"

"Wh-What!? Don't be ridiculous."

…

…

…

"How about 2000 yen?"

The blond grinned widely, satisfied.

"Oh yeah, you like her, right?"

We all turned to Miyamura, having forgotten he'd been there.

"Yeah, I figured out your little secret. That, and the one about Kirisaki," he waved his hand in a placating manner, "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone."

"So the only one who _doesn't_ know about our relationship is Tsugumi then," I sweatdropped, "Am I the only one who doesn't see that ending too well?"

Naruto quirked a brow, "Are you volunteering to tell her yourself?"

"God no."

"That's what I thought. But anyway, back on topic…" he said, "If I get Kosaki's number, I'll be sure to swap with you, free of charge."

"Same here," Miyamura nodded, "And if I get Tsugumi, I'll be sure to pass it along to you, Naruto."

The teen shrugged, "Probably for the best. Tsugumi's a total scaredy cat."

* * *

About 9 Hours From Now

* * *

A "ghost", wearing a white sheet with eye-holes cut out of it, leapt from the bushes.

"BOO!"

"AUUUGH!"

Screaming like a little girl, Naruto jumped into the girl's arms.

* * *

Present

* * *

Miyamura nudged Shuu, "And hey, if I get Miyamoto, I'll be sure to pass her on to you."

"Hm? Why would Shuu want to be partnered with Miyamoto…?" I asked.

The white-haired boy grinned, "No reason. None at all."

Meanwhile, Naruto was chuckling, shaking his head.

* * *

(Kosaki)

* * *

"...So…"

I glanced up at Ruri, who was finishing her third tray of breakfast.

"Make sure you get paired with Ichijou, if it's the last thing you do! Got it?"

(*SPLRBBBT*)

I wiped the juice from the table, "H-How exactly am I supposed to make sure of that? We're drawing numbers, right?"

"Anything is possible, if you're determined!" she said forcefully.

"D-Don't be ridiculous!"

She leaned over the table a bit with her arm, "Don't tell me you plan on going this entire trip without making a move?"

"A-A m-m-move?" I sputtered.

"_Yes_, a move. You share a room with him for God's sake, just jump his bones already!"

"RURI-CHAN!"

She sighed, "I don't care what you _do_. But if you don't make the first move, you'll never get anywhere. And remember, you vowed to show some courage, right? Work up your nerve?"

I looked down at the table in thought, as she stood up, "If I draw his number, I'll give it to you. That's double the odds. Be sure to 'Cross' your fingers…"

I giggled lightly at the pun while she picked up her tray.

"Also," she turned her head to me, "If you get paired with him, you can rape him out in the bushes somewhere."

"RURI-CHANNNN!"

* * *

(Naruto)

* * *

I sighed, for what seemed the millionth time in mere minutes. There were all kinds of food, from all over the world: a continental breakfast, I believe it was called. And yet…

'WHY IS THERE NO RAMEENNNN!'

Seriously guys! This was unbelievable! I mean, who _doesn't_ start their mornings with hot noodles in a steaming salty broth?

I sighed again. They had a whole buffet line dedicated to it last night, but in the mornings, there was none. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Mu. Amugeosdo. Pagh—

"Somethin' gotcha' down there?"

I looked up at the familiar voice. It was Chitoge, getting fourths (or was it fifths at this point? I'd stopped counting) on breakfast.

(**TL Note: In order: English, Spanish, Japanese, Korean, Klingon**)

I smiled, offering a fist, "Hey, Chi-hime. Ready for the mornin' hike?"

She gladly bumped it, "You know it! Heading into the great outdoors on a bright sunny day with all my friends… Haaahh…"

She stared off into space with stars in her eyes.

I chuckled at her antics, "Well, you better hurry up an eat so we can shower and get changed. It starts in about two hours you know, and the group is over half female. And I know how long you girls take in the bathroom."

She giggled, "I'll try. See you later, Naruto."

"You too, Chi-hime."

* * *

(Raku)

* * *

(*Bzzzzzzz*)

(*PLLLLLLLLLLP PLLLLP PLLP PLP...plp.*)

The machine emptied the last drops of coffee into the foam cup I'd placed under the nozzle. Pouring in numerous packets of cream and artificial sweeteners, I grabbed a lid from the towering stack, taking a sip.

At this point, it was pretty much tradition. Every day before heading to school, I'd take a couple minutes to fully wake up. A coffee with two creams and two sugars.

Of course, during the day, I'd have tea… and before bed, I might have some warm milk or something. It was odd how my preference of beverage shifted throughout the day… Wonder how that started.

I took another sip, slowing stepping away from the machine for others to use it.

Maybe I just have too much caffeine in the day, and just end up crashing by the end of it. You know that stuff has a half-life? Never leaves your system, but decays and decays, 'till there's practically nothing… though it's still there.

It was just routine. Same way Naruto woke up with 5 cups of instant ramen, same way Shuu did with rice, miso soup, and last night's leftovers, and the same way Onodera did with omu-rice and ketchup…

(*Sips*)

...Haah… I can just imagine her, sitting there laughing with her family with that smile of hers. One that's like the sun peering through on a cloudy day…

"Ichijou-kun!"

At the call of my name, I spat out the brown liquid all over the floor. I pity the poor bastard being paid minimum wage to mop that shit up.

And speak of the devil… or in this case, angel…

"Good morning!" she said, "Did you sleep well?"

"Huh?! Oh! Good morning, Onodera!"

"Gk!"

A different image passed through my mind. Thankfully, she at least wore a towel from the shoulders down.

"Hm? What's wrong?" the image asked.

"...Uh...nothing!" I began walking, waving goodbye, "I-I'll see you at the assembly!"

"Oh...Okay?"

I turned away, my smile turning into a slight scowl as I covered the lower half of my reddened face with my palm.

'Shiiiit...' I groaned, 'How can I look her in the eye when I keep picturing her like that…?'

* * *

Himoku Forests

7:12 P.M.

* * *

(*BLZZZT*)

"Attention everyone!" Kyoko spoke into the megaphone, "We're ready to begin the annual Test of Courage! You ready, you hooligans!?"

"YEAH!" the class roared.

"Good! The adults'll have a _niiice_ little drink while you all have your fun," she said, with a bottle in her hand, the rest of the staff balancing saucers of sake, "We'll leave the rest in your capable hands!"

We all sweatdropped, "Teach…"

* * *

"Hmm… Test of Courage, huh?"

"Oh right, you're afraid of the dark, right?" I remembered, "Will you be okay? We'll have flashlights and all, so you should be fine…"

"I will be!" she spat, "Besides, it's not like I'll be alone!"

"I feel sorry for whoever gets paired with you," I smirked, "Bet a gorilla like you has a total vice-grip."

"Want me to test that out on your head?" she growled.

"Please don't. You'll probably crush my skull."

* * *

(Naruto)

* * *

"Okay! Time for girls to draw numbers!"

So they did. I made sure to keep an eye on which girl got what; it was all part of our plan. Miyamura and I'd agreed: I'd get Tsugumi, Cross'd get Kosaki, Shuu'd get Ruri, and he'd get Tsubaki. I'd put Chi-hime with Ryuu Yamada (one of my and Toranosuke's friends). Yeah, he started out as one of those delinquent types, but he seemed like a decent guy as of late. Helping out his classmates whenever he could… wonder how the hell that happened. Good to know he wasn't a total perv like his friends either.

Anyway, I made sure to keep track of which numbers they each got. Chitoge got 23, Tsubaki 42, Ruri 13, Tsugumi 21, and Kosaki…

"Ahem, Ahem….A-hem!"

I glanced over at Ruri.

"Hey...so you drew Number 12, huh Kosaki!" she said loudly, "Kosaki got a 12! Kosaki drew a 12!"

I sweatdropped, 'Damn Miyamoto… Way to pile it on.'

I saw Raku tense up as reached for a number… 'Damn he must really want that 12, huh?'

"**You gonna' give it to him**?"

I quirked a brow, as a formed a small handsign behind my back, 'The hell kinda' question is that?'

* * *

Moments Earlier...

(Raku)

* * *

'Tch… this is it! The moment of truth!'

"Now it's the boy's turn!"

I got in line with the others, ending up somewhere in the middle, closer to the front.

'Will I get to pair up with Onodera? Wonder what number she drew...' I thought as the line moved, 'Not that my knowing will help in any way, shape, or form, but still… couldn't hurt to know...'

"Ahem, Ahem… A-hem!" I heard someone cough.

"Hey...so you drew Number 12, huh Kosaki!" Miyamoto announced, "Kosaki got a 12! Kosaki drew a 12!"

'Miyamoto!? What the...'

I composed myself, as it was almost my turn, 'That was weird. Whatever though; I got her number! Twelve, huh…?'

An image of myself protecting Onodera from monsters passed through my head. Then she'd grip my hand harder, and hug me, and-

'Whatever, that's not the point!' I collected myself, 'It's time!'

I reached into the box, grinding my teeth and shutting my eyes in concentration, 'Twelve… I know the odds are against it… but I need you! Come on Twelve!'

I finally grabbed a paper, and pulled it out of the box. As I raised it to my face, something weird happened. Like there was a small breeze or something, and the paper fell from my hand. Not that it actually happened though, because when I checked, it was still between my fingers.

It also read '12'.

…

…

"AAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!"

* * *

(Naruto)

* * *

I cleaned the blood flowing from my ears.

"Geez, Cross…" I muttered, "I did you a favor; you didn't have to blow my eardrums out."

Across the clearing, Toranosuke offered me a thumbs-up, which I returned. I set to setting up the other pairs.

* * *

(Chitoge)

* * *

"Looks like we're together then."

I looked up at my new partner.

He had spiky blue hair, kinda' like Naruto's, and wore the standard boy's PE uniform shirt with the jacket draped over his shoulder. He had a small gray earring on his right ear, and he had a face that looked like he scowled a lot.

This was Ryu Yamada. One of Miyamura's friends. How someone like him managed to get so tight with the front-runner for the President's spot on the student council, I'll never know.

He seemed to be a better guy as of recently. In fact, he was one of the founding members of the school's Supernatural Studies Club (or rather 're'-founding; we'd always had one, but all the members were seniors who graduated last year). Miyamura was in that club too, as its Vice President. The President was the class bookworm Shiraishi Urara. Also in it were Miyabi Ito, the occult-loving school pariah, and Kentaro Tsubaki the Tempura Enthusiast. How a ragtag group like that even formed, let alone _functioned_, is beyond me. Not that we can really talk with the way _our_ group gets along.

What was odder was that Yamada seemed to be at the middle of it all.

Over the course of the year, Yamada'd turned from a total delinquent into a genuinely good guy. He'd reached out to Meiko Otsuka, the shy girl in our class, and helped her and her friends out with their cram school. He'd also helped Karen Kimishima (captain of the girl's archery team) in the boycotting of tearing down the old school building, disbanded the troublemaking gang of Noa Takigawa's, and a whole bunch of other things that probably went undetected. He even helped out Tsubaki (Konno) at some point too!

Like I said, he was a friend of Miyamura's, who was a friend of Maiko's, who was a friend of the Bean Sprout's, who was a friend of Naruto's. So I guess he was a friend of mine. 'The friend of my friend is also my friend', or whatever, right?

"Looks like it," I nodded, "I'm Kirisaki. Kirisaki Chitoge. Nice to meet you."

"Ryuu Yamada," he said, "Same to you."

"Oi! Yamada-kun! Over here!"

I glanced over. It was the purple haired Miyabi Ito, waving the boy over.

"A-Ah! Coming!" he looked back to me, "Sorry. Be right back, okay?"

"Y-Yeah. Right."

He ran over to her, where Miyamura, Urara, and both Tsubaki (Konno _and _Kentaro) were waiting.

I looked over to the others. Shuu was with Ruri-chan (hope she wouldn't break her fist on his hard skull), Naruto with Tsugumi (hope she _would_ break his back, clinging to him), and Raku was with...

'So the Bean-Sprout's with Kosaki-chan, huh?' I thought to myself, 'Geez, look at him, fawning all over her!'

…

…

"_What'll we do?_"

"_I don't know…_"

There were voices coming from the bushes. I pushed them aside…

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"Oh! It's you Kirisaki-san!"

It was a group of teachers dressed as monsters, huddled around a lantern. There was Asami Madoka (the 1A Teacher) dressed as a corpse, Seito Kuma (the 1B Teacher) as Frankenstein's monster, and… somebody dressed as a wolf.

"One of the people who's supposed to play a ghost has a stomach bug," said Kuma-sensei, "We need someone to stand in, but we haven't found anyone."

"Oh no," said a disinterested sounding voice coming from the wolf, "My stomach hurts so bad."

I sighed. No doubt about it, that was Ninjirou Fukuda, our Class' sub-homeroom teacher. He smoked a lot, and never really took anything seriously. Not even a stomachache apparently.

'A ghost, huh? Well, I'm afraid of the dark, so...' I turned away.

"Aw man… who's gonna' do it?" Kuma wondered aloud, "Now that everyone's paired up, no one will want to do it!"

"And we came up with so many good strategies too!" said Madoka.

"If there aren't enough of us, it'll mess up the timing of our scare tactics!" piled on Fukuda, as if he were reading from a script.

'Lazy ass… bet he just doesn't wanna' do it.'

"I mean, we didn't have enough people to begin with… the Test's gonna' suck this year!"

"Oh man… just _what_ are we gonna' do?"

"...Haaahh…"

* * *

"Thanks so much, Kirisaki! You're totally saving us!"

Yep. Here I was, getting fitted for a (rather tight) ghost costume.

"Alright then Kirisaki-san!" said Kuma, as he walked off, "Time to assume positions! Basically, all ya' need ta' do is have fun, okay?"

"Here's your flashlight!" I took the object from her.

'Well...Que Sera Sera, right?'

* * *

(Raku)

* * *

"I mean… you've got so many great qualities!" I said, "I didn't mean anything weird or anything. As a friend, you know? As a friend!"

I mentally pat myself on the back.

'Nice save, me.'

'Thank you, me!'

'You're welcome, me!'

"Pair Number Twelve!" called one of the organizers, "Time to get ready!"

"O-Oh! That's us!"

I looked to her, "Shall we then? Onodera?"

"Oh, right! We're supposed to hold hands!"

There was a tender pause. That brief moment… it was like the entire universe was holding its breath, and time and space had stopped. My voice caught in my lungs, the whole world in a colossal drumroll, and then…

Her dainty fingertips ran across my skin, tentatively. My breathing hitched at the soft touch. I felt her delicate fingers gently wrap around my hand… her palm was in mine… and mine in hers.

'Onodera's hand is… soft… and warm...' I smiled lightly, 'And I can tell… that she's just a little nervous too.'

* * *

(Naruto)

* * *

"Oi, Naruto!" I turned to Yamada, who'd run over.

"Hey man. What's wrong?"

He rubbed the back of his head, much like I did.

"You wouldn't have happened to have seen Kirisaki, have you?"

I raised a brow, "Can't say that I have. Wasn't she with you?"

"Yeah, I leave for two minutes, and next thing I know, she's gone!" he scratched his chin, "Hey, there aren't any wolves in these woods, are there?"

"The only 'wolves' in these woods happen to stand on two legs, and wear masks," I deadpanned, "What the hell kinda' resort would this be if they let kids run amok through a forest filled with wild animals!?"

The boy shrugged, "Just concerned for the girl's safety, that's all. Let me know if you see her, alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, got it."

As soon as he was out of sight…

I shut my eyes, the familiar sensation of Natural Energy rushing through me. I felt Chitoge's chakra signature about half a mile out.

'No time like the present, I guess.'

And I dashed into the forest.

* * *

(Raku)

* * *

"So… here we go then!"

"Y-Yeah!"

'This is the second time… I've held Onodera's hand like this...' I thought as I glanced down at our interlocking fingers, 'Wow, I'm super nervous! I'm already trembling!'

I shook my head lightly to clear my thoughts, 'Get a hold of yourself, Raku! Gotta' stay cool and collected! I may never get another chance like this!'

'Wait… I'm sweating. Shit, my hand is sweaty as hell! What do I do!?' I began (read: continued) to freak out, 'I hope Onodera isn't grossed out or anything!'

'! Huh?' I stared in surprise, 'Is her face… a little red? No way!'

'...So… is she nervous too?'

* * *

(Chitoge)

* * *

(*FSSSHH*)

(*SSSS*)

"EEEEEEPPP!"

I slapped my hands over my ears as I curled into the fetal position. Eyes clenched shut, I bore my head into my knees, the pressure likely to leave a big red mark. Dammit! Why did the flashlight have to break! Why does this damn place have to be so creepy!

'Alright… calm down Chitoge...' I thought to myself, 'I just need to think… think about something else… like maybe...'

I looked up at the crescent moon, the shape oddly comforting. Looking down, I realized; the same pattern was carved into my key.

There wasn't much I remembered about those days. What little memory I had was restored by my old diary, a few days ago…

I did remember one thing though. As a child, I'd always dreamed of becoming an astronaut. Flying high, travelling to the moon… and beyond.

I'd realized now what a childish thought that was. There weren't any moon landings scheduled in the future, nor would there be anytime soon. And the thought of space: empty blackness all around you… it was terrifying to me.

I gazed fondly at the night sky, much like I did in my youth, 'Well, it _is_ good to have dreams though.'

(*KSSS...KSSKSSSSSS*)

The sudden sound led me to whip my head around. It was just a lizard running into a bush.

I lay my head unto my knees again and began to count… just like I always used to when I was young.

"One sheep… two sheep… three sheep… four sheep…five…"

Yeah, I remembered doing this. I was a hyperactive mess back then; there was this one time I got to over a thousand, and I still couldn't calm down.

'Come to think of it… didn't something like this happen back then?'

My face lit up, 'Yeah... Yeah! I totally did! It was in my diary; I fell into a crevice in the mountains.'

'That day… I was so scared, I couldn't even cry out,' I pouted lightly at the thought, 'All I could do was sob until my lungs wouldn't function, and my voice was gone.'

'But then… after a while… that boy came to save me!' I smiled, 'He was like my knight in shining armor!'

I giggled a bit, 'That's right… whenever I needed him—"

(*FSSHH*)

"EEEEK!"

A nearby branch rustled, as a figure stepped out of the darkness.

My eyes widened, tears brimming. I remember now…what my diary said…

'August 15th: Today, I tripped and fell in a hole. It was dark and cramped and I started to cry...'

'But he came to save me!'

He stood there, in the standard blue uniform, the tails of that silly headband of his flapping in the wind. Mop of unruly hair, as if it were kissed by the very sun itself, he stepped into the clearing; into the light of the crescent moon.

'He's always comes when I need him. He's always there for me when I cry.'

He grinned, not even sweating from the run he'd had.

"You're a ghost aren't cha?" he said, "Ghosts aren't supposed to cry!"

"N-Naruto-kun!"

* * *

(Raku)

* * *

"EEP!"

"AUUGH!"

Clinging to me for dear life, Onodera and I screamed as a group of monsters approached.

"I-I-Ichijou-kun! Do something!"

"Wh-What!? Don't look at me; I'm terrible with this stuff!"

In retrospect, twelve was probably one of the worst numbers I could've drawn.

* * *

(Yamada)

* * *

"Damn… where'd Kirisaki go?" I ran my fingers through my hair, "Great; Naruto's never gonna' let me hear the end of it if she gets lost out in the woods or something…"

"Yamada-kun!"

"Huh? Shiraishi?"

The girl stood before me, offering a hand up. I reached out and grabbed it, preparing to release my grip upon standing, only to find that she'd kept her fingers clamped tight.

"Shiraishi, what are you—"

"I don't have a partner either, actually," she said, tilting her head, and giving me a light smile, "I hope you don't mind."

"No, no! Not at all!"

I shifted, causing our palms to rub together lightly. I took the sensation of her soft skin on mine and burned it into my memory.

'Well...I guess all clouds have a silver lining.'

* * *

(Shuu)

* * *

"Pair Number Thirteen! You're up!"

"C'mon, let's get going!" I said cheerfully.

The shorter girl held out a hand, which I gently took. She flinched at the contact and clenched her opposite palm… but her fingers loosened, causing the fist to droop.

"Whatever. Let's go."

We began to move; her pace was very fast. She walked stiffly, but quickly, as we made our way through the forest.

Not encountering any monsters yet, we made it to a clearing with an opening in the canopy above, the light of the moon shining through. As we passed under it, there was a light draft, and her hair swung back and forth in the wind.

I stopped moving to marvel at the beauty before me. She turned.

Piercing crystals of jade, framed by panes of glass, bore into my eyes. Her thin brow was furrowed lightly in concern; her chocolate hair swayed in the breeze like fine, newly woven silk, the 'princess-cut' she wore entirely appropriate for a woman like her.

She grew tired of waiting, "What? What is it?"

I smiled. Not one of those fake ones, or those '83's either. A real, genuine smile.

"...It's nothing. Let's keep moving."

* * *

(Naruto)

* * *

"I can't believe you did that," she said, walking beside me.

I raised a brow, "What? That I ran about half a mile into the forest without a flashlight? Please, I've done worse with my eyes closed."

She smiled, "I'm sure you have. Thanks though."

I grinned.

"Anything for you, Chi-hime."

!

It was dark that night. The moon's light was so dim, it might as well have been new. But it was still bright enough to see.

I could tell her face was red, when she leaned her head against my shoulder as we walked, our fingers already intertwined.

"I'm serious."

"Hm?"

She was smiling now. One that cut through the darkness, one that lit up the forest, one that any man would fight, just to catch a glimpse of.

"Thank you, Naruto. For everything."

I grinned, "Not a problem… Chitoge."

"BOO!"

A "ghost", wearing a white sheet with eye-holes cut out of it, leapt from the bushes.

"AUUUGH!"

Eliciting a rather unmanly sound, I leapt up into her arms.

Her eye twitched, as I laughed nervously.

* * *

(Chitoge)

9:47 P.M.

* * *

In the end, we managed to make it back in time for our turn.

The Bean Sprout and the others had already left, leaving Tsugumi alone to greet us.

"Naruto! Mistress! Where were you two?" she called, running up to us, "I was worried!"

My blond bodyguard (who I was no longer holding, thank the gods), smiled widely, scratching the back of his head nervously.

"Well, thanks for that," he said, "But there was really nothing to worry about. I was fine."

She gave a half-hearted glare, "I wasn't worried about you, you moron. I was worried for the Mistress; you can take care of yourself!"

He slumped over, comical cloud of depression setting over him, "You don't have to be so cruel about it..."

"Chitoge-chan!"

I saw Kosaki emerging from the forest, running rather quickly.

"Kosaki-chan! What's going on?"

I glared lightly at Ichijou, as he bent over to catch his breath, "What did you do, Aho Moyashi?"

"Nothing! Nothing!" he grunted out, face still pretty pale, "It was freakin' scary in there though."

"By the way, Mistress!" Tsugumi walked over, leaving Naruto to talk with Kosaki and Ichijou, "We don't have school tomorrow!"

"Hmm? Yeah, so?"

"Remember you said you wanted to go looking for your first crush?" she asked, "There's no school tomorrow, so I can make the arrangements..."

I looked over at Naruto, laughing with Ichijou and Kosaki.

"Nah... it can wait."

"Oh?"

I smiled lightly, "I don't need to know... just yet."

* * *

**Next chapter will have an omake!**

**Anyway, here are the profiles. Full list will be released gradually.**

* * *

**Name:**** Naruto Uzumaki**

**Nickname:**** Fishcake (hate it), Whiskers, Blondie, Orange, The Number-One Hyperactive Knucklehead Ninja, Child of Prophecy, Hero of the Leaf, Neo Toad Sage, Mr. 9, Kitsune**

**Nationality:**** Elemental**

**Gender:**** Male**

**Age:**** 17 (Birthday: October 10th)**

**Height/Weight:**** 164 cm/ 134 lbs.**

**Bloodtype:**** B**

**Available Techniques:**** Sage Mode, Tree-Climbing, Water-Walking, Kawamiri (Limited), Oiroke, Shurikenjutsu (Limited), Kenjutsu (Limited), Fuuinjutsu (Limited), One-Thousand Years of Death, Pachinko, Hiraishin, Sensing Emotions and Presences**

**Restricted Techniques:**** Shadow Clone (and variants), Kuchiyose (and variants), Rasengan (and variants), Bijuu Mode (and variants), any Elemental Jutsu**

**Likes:**** Tsugumi, Chitoge, Claude, Johnson, Kosaki, Ruri, Tsubaki, Cross, Shuu, Toranosuke, Klein, Kakashi, Drawing up seals, Ramen, the idea of being Hokage, orange, fighting alongside comrades, my precious people, cigarettes (kinda'), really any form of alcohol, training, peanuts, pranks, my nindo, tending to my garden, working together with Tsugu**

**Dislikes:**** The time it takes for ramen to cook (you think they'd have invented a jutsu for that by now…), when people pre-judge others, being forced to do something, when people think guns are better than knives, when others harm his precious people, Shuu when he's being a perverted bastard, when people thinks Chitoge's infallible, when others diss orange, the ring, stuck-up pricks, the stuff Claude leaves us to try and get rid of**

**Background:**** The day I was born, I had Kurama sealed into my gut, at the cost of my parents' lives. As a result, I was ostracized by my village; prior to my trip with Jiraiya, I had no true formal training. Since then, I've compiled various techniques, and numerous transformations, into a massive arsenal that I utilized during the 4th War. Most of my abilities are restricted at the moment, but it hasn't really been an issue thus far. Least I have Hiraishin.**

**Notes:**** I can't believe they're making me write up a file for myself… what is this, a MySpace page?**

**Theme Song(s):**** This is War (30 Seconds to Mars)**

**Quotes:**

"**I never go back on my word. Because that's my nindo; my ninja way!**"

**(During Training) **"**Claude, if my fingers ever work again, I've got a job for the middle one.**"

"**You got any cash on you? 'Cause I hear that Hell pays rent in advance.**"

"**Ramen is the sacred food of the gods; don't let anybody tell you different.**"

"**I should plant an orange tree.**"

"**Datte-fucking-bayo, bitch.**"

"**I'm so fast, sometimes even I have trouble keeping up.**"

"**The last guy who pointed a gun at me wound up with a knife lodged in his throat. Same with the one before that, and the one before that. And I highly doubt you want to die as 'just another statistic'.**"

"**Why do I fight so hard? Well that's an easy question.**

**One day… a long time ago… I made a vow. A vow to keep my precious people safe. It's why I've gotten as strong as I have. To protect them.**

**And now… whether you like it or not Tsugu, you've earned yourself a special place in my heart. You're precious to me.**

**I'll keep you safe no matter what! I'll go through the deepest depths of hell and back for you!**

'**Cause that's my ninja way!**"

* * *

**Name:**** Seishirou Tsugumi**

**Nickname:**** Tsugu. She had a codename for assignments while she worked in the states, but she hasn't told me yet. Says it's embarrassing.**

**Nationality:**** Japanese by birth, chiefly raised in America and England**

**Gender:**** Female**

**Age:**** 16 (Birthday: March 24th)**

**Height/Weight:**** 163 cm/ 139 lbs.**

**Bloodtype:**** O**

**Special Skills/Traits:**** Extraordinarily intelligent; ranked 7 during last year's exam period. Practices a multitude of fighting styles, among which being Judo, Muay Thai, Karate, Taekwondo, Krav Maga, Kung Fu, Ninjitsu, and even techniques used by U.S. Marines. A great shot with any kind of firearm, and quite skilled with a blade. She's also fluent in over 10 languages. Often confused for a male due to her masculine name and choice of clothing.**

**Likes:**** Chitoge, Me (Hopefully) Claude, Johnson, Kosaki, Ruri, Tsubaki, Firearms, Cooking, doing her job, working with familiar faces on missions**

**Dislikes:**** Cross, Shuu, Miyamura, perverts in general, when people assume she's a boy, when a gun jams, running out of ammo, her bust, the little things Claude leaves us on a utility cart in the middle of our room.**

**Background:**** Adopted by Claude at a young age, Tsugumi was taken all over the world, learning various forms of martial arts, languages, and cultures. She earned quite the name for herself in America as a hitwoman up until she transferred here to Japan a year ago. Since meeting me, her icy, let's-get-down-to-business personality has mellowed considerably, and she's opened up a bit more, according to Johnson. She had multiple partners in the BeeHive's American branch, one of which was younger, with white hair, the other being much older, with long dark brown. The second woman, "Jessica" was her teacher whenever Claude wasn't around.**

**Notes:**** Tsugu's awesome. She can hold her own in a spar, and keep up with me in battle! Even though I'm holding back and everything, that's still damn impressive. Over the course of our missions together, I've discovered that she secretly has quite the potty mouth, from back when she was an orphan on the streets. And now she can do it in over 10 languages. But seriously, have you heard her curse you out in Binary? It's freaking hilarious.**

**Yeah, we live together and all, but we're just good friends. Colleagues. Partners.**

**...Right?**

**Theme: Fearless (Morgan Berry)**

**Quotes:**"**I'm gonna' make this **_**very**_** simple for you. Tell me where they are now, or I'll end your pathetic existence as a man.**"

"**I swear to god, Naruto, if you don't put that back where you found it right now, I won't cook you ramen for a month.**"

"**...Has anyone ever told you that you're certifiably insane?**"

"**I can shoot the wings off a mosquito in flight from over a hundred yards away. What would be so hard about chasing you down and popping a cap in your ass?**"

"**Yes, I'm a woman. And you're a man. I have a couple knives that can fix that problem, if you'd like.**"

"**I'm rather capable in first-aid. So believe me when I say that I'll shoot you, heal you right up, and shoot you again.**"

"**He and I… we're partners! And partners stand by each other!**"

"**I'll get stronger. Strong enough to fight you on equal ground…**

**Strong enough to stay by your side.**"

* * *

**Name:**** Raku Ichijou**

**Nickname:**** Cross, Bocchan/Young Master, Stupid Bean Sprout/ Aho Moyashi**

**Nationality:**** Japan**

**Gender:**** Male**

**Age:**** 16 (Birthday: May 12th)**

**Height/Weight:**** 163 cm/ 134 lbs.**

**Bloodtype:**** B**

**Special Skills/Traits:**** Rather smart; ranked 63rd during the last exam period. However, due to his weak build, he's next to useless in a fight.**

**Likes:**** Kosaki, Cooking, Cleaning, Doing things right the first time, being precise, people who treat him like a normal person, being a "man", abiding by his family's code.**

**Dislikes:**** Fighting, Chitoge, People who treat him badly due to his background, the fact that his family is Yakuza, people who don't treat women properly.**

**Background:**** Son of the boss to the Shuuei-gumi Yakuza faction. Intelligent, but a total wimp. Wants to become a civil servant with no relation to his family's business. Currently in a false relationship with Chitoge Kirisaki, in an attempt to quell the conflict between their group and the BeeHive Gang. Searching for the girl from his past, with the key capable of unlocking his pendant. Funnily enough, his name is "Lock".**

**Notes:**** Cross seems like a good enough guy, despite his questionable upbringing, though he does tend to dwell on the past a lot. He mentioned something about a promise from **_**ten years ago**_**, but it was in passing, so I don't have all the details. **

**Maybe I should ask him about it. Could be important.**

**Theme Song(s):**** Rocky (The Lonely Island)**

**Quotes:**"**I just want to live a life where I graduate from an Ivy League College and become a civil servant with a civilized job.**"

"**Man… you BeeHive guys have all the cool toys.**"

"**I can't take it anymore! Why's my world always surrounded by violence!**"

"**She's my girlfriend, damn you! And I won't let anyone take her away!**"

"**Damn… You gotta' teach me how to do that.**"

"**Yeah, Onodera's great. She's thoughtful and friendly… Plus she's beautiful and classy and sweet and ladylike and she has an incredible smile… she's totally the perfect girl!**"

"**DAAAAAMMMIIIIIT! She's so cute it's ridiculous! I WANT TO MARRY HEEEEEERRR!**"


End file.
